tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-90877645902654431672024-03-04T21:08:19.370-08:00Winskillfull Explains It AllUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger47125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9087764590265443167.post-50484537893017275232016-03-21T11:22:00.000-07:002016-03-21T11:22:10.138-07:00For the Honour Of Grayskull!<div class="ecxMsoNormal" style="background-color: white; line-height: 20.8267px; margin-bottom: 1.35em;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18.9333px;">The Bath Half Marathon was on Sunday 13th March and I lived to tell the tale! Thanks to a friend who runs a fancy dress business (<a href="http://www.dressingupboxonline.co.uk/" target="_blank">Dressing Up Box</a>) I ran in costume as She-Ra, which got a <i style="line-height: 18.9333px;">lot</i> more attention than I was expecting! I was photographed pre-race by BBC Radio Bristol, Top Bath Guide and I was filmed for the <a href="http://bathhalf.co.uk/" target="_blank">Bath Half website</a> - catch at glimpse of me at 28 seconds in! I even made the <a href="http://www.bathchronicle.co.uk/Bath-Half-Marathon-2016-photos-place/story-28913725-detail/story.html" target="_blank">front page of the Bath Chronicle article</a>. So a BIG thank you to </span></span><a href="http://www.dressingupboxonline.co.uk/" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18.9333px;" target="_blank">Dressing Up Box</a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18.9333px;"> for my costume!</span></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7wXxRe8twgLQnKFnjJE27Yem_4IxQ705NvgCfeiLVxEduN9oOMVuu-hW71qg_crvKNqUZvghAqNqmhced89DRoRhy1A5g1-GGr7UIsofcMl9qEHkN4aL3_jmJU0zTF7ocfK8q9CihKXP9/s1600/medal.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7wXxRe8twgLQnKFnjJE27Yem_4IxQ705NvgCfeiLVxEduN9oOMVuu-hW71qg_crvKNqUZvghAqNqmhced89DRoRhy1A5g1-GGr7UIsofcMl9qEHkN4aL3_jmJU0zTF7ocfK8q9CihKXP9/s320/medal.jpg" width="180" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Princess of Power!</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="ecxMsoNormal" style="background-color: white; line-height: 20.8267px; margin-bottom: 1.35em;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18.9333px;">The atmosphere on the day was really uplifting and the cheers and support of the crowds was fantastic, even if very few people knew I was She-Ra – I was cheered as Wonder Woman, a Greek Goddess and a Roman Gladiator.</span></div>
<div class="ecxMsoNormal" style="background-color: white; line-height: 20.8267px; margin-bottom: 1.35em;">
<span style="line-height: 18.9333px;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVz95lhskRvBHARRhIuBifg6LIS5zE0NAzo83Hi40B2f8LCyBm2_WAybGsTd6yW0SJqkRwrqXuVWXi7dKiqCuTueZ3m9BftXq9nC6ETGLZGz-NRedzPDqxB1NxRVBLhUYCOCtiVRH0ToPD/s1600/different.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVz95lhskRvBHARRhIuBifg6LIS5zE0NAzo83Hi40B2f8LCyBm2_WAybGsTd6yW0SJqkRwrqXuVWXi7dKiqCuTueZ3m9BftXq9nC6ETGLZGz-NRedzPDqxB1NxRVBLhUYCOCtiVRH0ToPD/s200/different.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">For the record, She-Ra is on the left, Wonder Woman on the right. <br />TOTALLY DIFFERENT COSTUMES.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18.9333px;">For the first several miles I would wave and call back “I’m She-Ra!” but by the last 4 miles I was so focused on getting through it that I didn’t even look up anymore! Being clapped and shouted for really helped me keep going and the encouragement of the other runners helped me stumble into a sprint finish. My chip time was 2 hours 39 minutes, a personal best that I am very proud of!</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18.9333px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18.9333px;"><br /></span></span>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIE6stHP_4fH-p-PekAm68NFRemERMA42pvNbYLoAaAa30w3hjldBh-GV_1nIr8286wMh-LD3oS5pUmAMkzIEVxigiuRfxshyTuTZZehP86-hHpCauyf_YkPIrJcCD5n3-Nv4MidoroFL0/s1600/dying.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIE6stHP_4fH-p-PekAm68NFRemERMA42pvNbYLoAaAa30w3hjldBh-GV_1nIr8286wMh-LD3oS5pUmAMkzIEVxigiuRfxshyTuTZZehP86-hHpCauyf_YkPIrJcCD5n3-Nv4MidoroFL0/s320/dying.jpg" width="272" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Stumbling towards death.</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18.9333px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18.9333px;">I will definitely be doing the Bath Half again next year, the support was incredible and it was the most friendly sporting event I have ever been to. I was chatting with several people before and during the race, including an incredible cancer survivor who was in her 50s and on her second half marathon in the last year, and a brilliant guy who was acting as a personal trainer to basically everyone around him in the last mile, cheering us all on and encouraging us to keep running!</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGkxtaf1hXB8WIYkSclIM2ub0l9T0aWbjlVQFav8t-FkZATGsXf4DuEfohuua6r4tc2l_E8DfWt-0xkXKauJUv8z0jbz5-fxNxkI9zCmKJu5-2xR_7L2rj8SRJx8nkSMqmmdTfy8bK0zNS/s1600/waving.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="line-height: 18.9333px;"><br /></span></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGkxtaf1hXB8WIYkSclIM2ub0l9T0aWbjlVQFav8t-FkZATGsXf4DuEfohuua6r4tc2l_E8DfWt-0xkXKauJUv8z0jbz5-fxNxkI9zCmKJu5-2xR_7L2rj8SRJx8nkSMqmmdTfy8bK0zNS/s1600/waving.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><br /></a></span></div>
<br />
<div class="ecxMsoNormal" style="background-color: white; margin-bottom: 1.35em;">
<span style="clear: right; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18.9333px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><br /></span></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGkxtaf1hXB8WIYkSclIM2ub0l9T0aWbjlVQFav8t-FkZATGsXf4DuEfohuua6r4tc2l_E8DfWt-0xkXKauJUv8z0jbz5-fxNxkI9zCmKJu5-2xR_7L2rj8SRJx8nkSMqmmdTfy8bK0zNS/s1600/waving.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGkxtaf1hXB8WIYkSclIM2ub0l9T0aWbjlVQFav8t-FkZATGsXf4DuEfohuua6r4tc2l_E8DfWt-0xkXKauJUv8z0jbz5-fxNxkI9zCmKJu5-2xR_7L2rj8SRJx8nkSMqmmdTfy8bK0zNS/s320/waving.jpg" width="218" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Me waving in a moment of desperate joy.</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="ecxMsoNormal" style="background-color: white; margin-bottom: 1.35em;">
<span style="clear: right; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18.9333px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;">The first 4 miles of the race felt great, even if I was overtaken by a man dressed in a full Darth Vader costume, but at about mile 5 the angle of the road started playing merry hell with my right ankle. I managed to run up to mile 6, after which I had to start doing walk intervals to ease the pain in my right leg. By mile 10 I was mostly limping with the occasional brief interval of jogging, and at mile 12 my mum snapped a photo of me looking like I’m stumbling towards death (see above). I still managed a cheery wave once I heard her call my name, though (see right)! My personal low point was being overtaken by two men dressed as a camel and then, in the final mile, I was overtaken by Ali G, someone dressed as a gorilla and someone dressed as Tully from Monsters Inc. Watching people in very hot, awkward costumes run past me was a real blow to my pride, but I kept slogging on and kept moving the whole way.</span><span style="clear: right; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18.9333px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="ecxMsoNormal" style="background-color: white; margin-bottom: 1.35em;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18.9333px;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="ecxMsoNormal" style="background-color: white; margin-bottom: 1.35em;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18.9333px;">Over a week later and I’m still limping, but I gave the race everything I had and did myself proud! Thanks to the incredible generosity of my sponsors, we’ve also raised an amazing £570 for Mind – and as my work match funds up to £500 that means Mind will be getting at least £1,070! There’s still time to sponsor if you can - </span><a href="https://www.justgiving.com/WinskillRuns" style="cursor: pointer; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 18.9333px;" target="_blank">https://www.justgiving.com/WinskillRuns</a></div>
<div class="ecxMsoNormal" style="background-color: white; margin-bottom: 1.35em;">
<span style="line-height: 18.9333px;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The very talented Kate aka <a href="https://twitter.com/grumpyjogger" target="_blank">Grumpy Jogger</a> has immortalised me with a Paper Grump on her <a href="https://grumpyjogger.wordpress.com/" target="_blank">Cross Training Blog</a> - which is hilarious and you should follow her!</span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18.9333px;"> </span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgo5tZrrmpy4SMNIXdbCrA3UEKonWrtgT_KInsnBsRFmowolHtBBeazWyo8cE5ZlMlb9oOxnZMsfouhUzJnsdpMDuLlyUx94NCqmI_x0WsLltoEe1rkGIro68UeVaZxQ8G527fTA-keuipu/s1600/PaperSkillfull.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgo5tZrrmpy4SMNIXdbCrA3UEKonWrtgT_KInsnBsRFmowolHtBBeazWyo8cE5ZlMlb9oOxnZMsfouhUzJnsdpMDuLlyUx94NCqmI_x0WsLltoEe1rkGIro68UeVaZxQ8G527fTA-keuipu/s320/PaperSkillfull.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">MINI ME!</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="ecxMsoNormal" style="background-color: white; margin-bottom: 1.35em;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18.9333px;">A <span style="font-size: large;">HUGE </span>thank you to everyone who has sponsored me and supported me through my training and on the day. It really made a huge difference and helped keep me going, and I’m honestly overwhelmed by how generous everyone has been! Now, for my next trick - getting a better time for the Bristol Half Marathon..!</span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9087764590265443167.post-43835684145201985522016-03-09T14:03:00.000-08:002016-03-10T04:10:06.879-08:00Princess of Power<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The Bath Half Marathon is just a few days away and I'm in my final taper training stages. Thanks to the amazing and wonderful support I've received, I've also beaten my fundraising target! I'd love to raise even more for <a href="http://www.mind.org.uk/" target="_blank">Mind</a>, so if you can please donate <a href="https://www.justgiving.com/WinskillRuns/" target="_blank">here</a> - you can also donate by texting KWIN90 £3 to 70070 to sponsor me.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The fantastic folks at <a href="http://www.dressingupboxonline.co.uk/" target="_blank">Dressing Up Box</a> have also shown their support and donated the subtle, understated outfit I shall be wearing this Sunday:</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipguHAZwD5vREbz1QyxtYZ5iBk15qqFYywBH3j8Gq1YnSqHYklQnzY8c8zRKal_KjJiy-0oYZu_30hng2UHVwTZw7bSyFr3nTn3jT2o5bD9NMs2QOIDZA_lKayTwo-A-WNsLEmkLTfNGKK/s1600/She-Ra3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipguHAZwD5vREbz1QyxtYZ5iBk15qqFYywBH3j8Gq1YnSqHYklQnzY8c8zRKal_KjJiy-0oYZu_30hng2UHVwTZw7bSyFr3nTn3jT2o5bD9NMs2QOIDZA_lKayTwo-A-WNsLEmkLTfNGKK/s640/She-Ra3.jpg" width="353" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I'll be hard to spot and won't really stand out from the crowd dressed like this, but if you do see me slogging my way around the course please give me a wave! I know from personal experience that applause and cheers from supporters watching the race makes a huge difference to runners and really gives everyone a boost, so whilst I may look like I'm dying and/or in my own, zoned-out world, believe me I will be very appreciative! </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpA-bqY39NzzsQp5OKa97YX4fKt3QLSjHyQw-BOBkTQwRGi0qBZJz_vfesj_BxkTsZMA-Zty2QjLahHjHLyyGyAoEodxsFZqmupDopz_81ChvnQTVH8IcFR3ZWY2R41X43qIx1xMPOhz2W/s1600/She-Ra2.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpA-bqY39NzzsQp5OKa97YX4fKt3QLSjHyQw-BOBkTQwRGi0qBZJz_vfesj_BxkTsZMA-Zty2QjLahHjHLyyGyAoEodxsFZqmupDopz_81ChvnQTVH8IcFR3ZWY2R41X43qIx1xMPOhz2W/s320/She-Ra2.jpg" width="217" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="text-align: start;">I may or may not be swishing my cape as I run.</span></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjd1BZknx4L6puNezB6TmroKgPNZrVjmitBb2u7LW3__MWbZaYPgJ-6sRnf9zmaDBHOL-SFKVJEhdXO73d-dVmNVCvyYMSQVcsFmtpl3_RZwWE5ZpAoG96gluiHprNu59Ix60iE6zDi2Tdt/s1600/She-Ra1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjd1BZknx4L6puNezB6TmroKgPNZrVjmitBb2u7LW3__MWbZaYPgJ-6sRnf9zmaDBHOL-SFKVJEhdXO73d-dVmNVCvyYMSQVcsFmtpl3_RZwWE5ZpAoG96gluiHprNu59Ix60iE6zDi2Tdt/s320/She-Ra1.jpg" width="180" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's easier to swish your cape without an enthusiastic dog around.</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Thanks to Dressing Up Box turning me into a superhero for Sunday, I'm really hoping everyone can dig deep and sponsor what they can. I will certainly be giving it my all and hoping to do myself proud! This will be my last post before the half marathon so fingers crossed my training pays off and it all goes to plan on race day.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In summary: I am running 13.1 miles in fancy dress.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">I AM RUNNING 13.1 MILES IN FANCY DRESS.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>I AM RUNNING 13.1 MILES IN FANCY DRESS.</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If that doesn't encourage you to sponsor me, I don't know what will.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">Donate online <a href="https://www.justgiving.com/WinskillRuns/" target="_blank">here</a> or text KWIN90 £3 to 70070.</span></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">For the honour of Grayskull!</span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9087764590265443167.post-79645874602347889782016-02-16T04:38:00.002-08:002016-02-16T04:38:50.150-08:00NEITHER RAIN NOR SNOW NOR GLOM OF NIT<div class="MsoNormal">
<em><span style="background: white; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-style: normal; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">I’m in the final
month of training for the Bath Half and I’m laid up with </span></em><em><span style="background: white; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-style: normal; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">another</span></em><em><span style="background: white; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-style: normal; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;"> chest infection. Brilliant. Illness has been my major setback in my
training – but despite ‘flu over the Christmas holidays and having a cough
since October (yay) I’ve clocked up an impressive* 119 miles in 22.54 hours
across 30 workouts. All this sickness does mean my hopes of running the entire
13.1 miles of the half-marathon course are pretty much scuppered, but hey, I’m
not letting that defeat me. Even if I have to walk intervals of the Bath Half I
am still going to get out there and give it my all, and it’s for a great cause
too! You can learn more about Mind and sponsor me <a href="https://www.justgiving.com/WinskillRuns/" target="_blank">here</a>.<o:p></o:p></span></em></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<em><span style="background: white; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-style: normal; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></em></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIunTNIawkrTmV2yvlgtOvovgyQqMqk_dr0PiyOMxXIxD28YJTOZuqIbDR2JWTygJoJbuYAs2blHo7WcxyepfuxY4zp7e7tn2WkjT4UWvrNwVj-ZUKrE1O5jPRR22c8InQP-kJPKb5cYOG/s1600/before-after2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="318" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIunTNIawkrTmV2yvlgtOvovgyQqMqk_dr0PiyOMxXIxD28YJTOZuqIbDR2JWTygJoJbuYAs2blHo7WcxyepfuxY4zp7e7tn2WkjT4UWvrNwVj-ZUKrE1O5jPRR22c8InQP-kJPKb5cYOG/s320/before-after2.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Style by West Country Weather...</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<em><span style="background: white; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-style: normal; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">I haven’t been
letting the weather stop me, either. I’ve been out in frost and freezing
temperatures; braved gale force winds; and ran through torrential rain. Even when I was training for the Manchester 10k a few years back, I stayed in the dry of the gym rather than run in inclement weather, so I am very proud of myself for sticking to my training plan regardless of how bad it is outside. My training partner, Ripley, has also been keeping me motivated, although the frequent pouring rain has been a drag for both of us.</span></em></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<em><span style="background: white; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-style: normal; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></em></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQHDYHck3N2C1OCdidbXTd7tbPvblpoouka7RPHgwkQo8JdajJOaVnTUfmruzNNq1eYGNnvxYym5qC1huwqho1Isyb0L2mFLa7usIayFrZCW8W4xz9o9pilobkz-8M9yWuhvabzmKLp8jq/s1600/before-after1.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="315" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQHDYHck3N2C1OCdidbXTd7tbPvblpoouka7RPHgwkQo8JdajJOaVnTUfmruzNNq1eYGNnvxYym5qC1huwqho1Isyb0L2mFLa7usIayFrZCW8W4xz9o9pilobkz-8M9yWuhvabzmKLp8jq/s320/before-after1.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Yay wet weather runs 0_o</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<em><span style="background: white; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-style: normal; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">Bristol
has also psychologically broken me and I now actually </span></em><em><span style="background: white; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-style: normal; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">like</span></em><em><span style="background: white; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-style: normal; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;"> running hills – the painful inclines are definitely worth it for the
recovery of downhill! I have explored huge areas of the city, too, and found
new routes and roads and gorgeous views. I am also up to running a continuous
6.5 miles, which is the longest I have </span></em><em><span style="background: white; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-style: normal; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">ever</span></em><em><span style="background: white; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-style: normal; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;"> run non-stop,
and I managed to get my average mile pace down to 10.04 minutes across that
distance. I even went to the gym on a Saturday and have my long runs on a
Sunday and if that’s not dedication, I don’t know what is.<o:p></o:p></span></em></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<em><span style="background: white; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-style: normal; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></em></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNXqv5C2Ml7AD48CtM7L3YsLh70uC6uvEL6hhwBvNputjV49YOLVyLfECBe_2tLSGdLaEhM_UHVUa4FA6Jma2RkMEb_0u8BYRSrrgjbPhQtvGgv2MIrwS3fs9Zd9mxCf5QE_r9IID7gUTo/s1600/gym.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNXqv5C2Ml7AD48CtM7L3YsLh70uC6uvEL6hhwBvNputjV49YOLVyLfECBe_2tLSGdLaEhM_UHVUa4FA6Jma2RkMEb_0u8BYRSrrgjbPhQtvGgv2MIrwS3fs9Zd9mxCf5QE_r9IID7gUTo/s320/gym.png" width="264" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">The Rock has *nothing* on me</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<em><span style="background: white; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-style: normal; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">Hopefully I’ll be
back pounding pavement later this week and I will be giving it my all at the
Bath Half! You can show your support by donating to me and Mind: text KWIN90 £3
to 70070 to sponsor by text message, or go to <a href="http://www.justgiving.com/WinskillRuns">http://www.justgiving.com/WinskillRuns</a>
to donate online. My employers are also match-funding up to £500 so please give
as generously as you can!<o:p></o:p></span></em></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<em><span style="background: white; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-style: normal; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></em></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<em><span style="background: white; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-style: normal; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></em></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<em><span style="background: white; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-style: normal; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></em></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><em><span style="background: white; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-style: normal; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">*Impressive for
me. I’m so painfully British I feel the need to play this down and try to
diminish my own accomplishments, but I have worked </span></em><em><span style="background: white; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; mso-bidi-font-style: normal; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">hard</span></em><em><span style="background: white; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-style: normal; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;"> for this and I’m proud of myself, dammit. So there.</span></em></span><o:p></o:p></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9087764590265443167.post-21693559588313356952015-11-04T15:11:00.001-08:002015-11-04T15:11:04.245-08:00Miles To Go Before I Sleep<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In a moment of wild optimism, on 9th October I signed up to the <a href="http://bathhalf.co.uk/" target="_blank">Bath Half Marathon</a>.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">On the 10th October I fell over and sprained my ankle.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />For the third time in five months.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And then I got a chest infection.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Not the most auspicious start to my running regime! However, today I officially began my training and I did a very steady 30-minute session of running/walking intervals. My GPS on my Runtastic app failed (<i>again. </i>I need a new running app.) so it recorded 0 miles, but making educated deductions from my route, my time and my step-counter I did between 2.5 and 3 miles.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I walked the sections most leaf-covered, to avoid another fall, and stuck to the least hilly section of the neighbourhood that I could, to go easy on my ankles. I also had the best possible running companion:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg85-nf-i_CgMseoS0UQ0qtZky_nzkhyVoaOTB4rL67_TY1VV0SsHZwmdjnOPpMZzgHVBQxZyO9H22bu4M1S789J1t-M0sNl4ZGGYvCC8aN-k-9_ryCYxYJ5SbttWP91OBaR_zQln1abPlk/s1600/doggie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg85-nf-i_CgMseoS0UQ0qtZky_nzkhyVoaOTB4rL67_TY1VV0SsHZwmdjnOPpMZzgHVBQxZyO9H22bu4M1S789J1t-M0sNl4ZGGYvCC8aN-k-9_ryCYxYJ5SbttWP91OBaR_zQln1abPlk/s320/doggie.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">She's tough but fair, keeps me motivated, encourages me to run faster and further, and she certainly makes me feel safer running after dark! She is the perfect mix of an adorable friendly softy who <i>looks</i> tough enough to stop people from hassling me. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That's my brief first training update - I Have Begun. I signed up, and I started training despite a long day in work, and the dark, and my ankles, and the persistent remaining symptoms of my chest infection.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You can sponsor me <a href="https://www.justgiving.com/WinskillRuns" target="_blank">here</a>! I'm raising money for <a href="http://www.mind.org.uk/" target="_blank">Mind</a>, who do amazing work.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I Have Begun.</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9087764590265443167.post-16473662403403318252015-10-24T08:42:00.001-07:002015-10-24T08:42:42.510-07:00No Hero - part three<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">The
sixteenth was special.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">It
was later I met him, a couple days later. I’d found a strip mall with a grocery
store where the porch had collapsed, blocking the entrance. The rubble looked
pretty heavy and all the windows I could see were intact, so I figured there’d
be plenty of food and water left inside. I was really using my strength, really
fully using it, lifting slabs of shattered concrete and shoving them aside,
trying to make a path to the door.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">That’s
when he saw me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
stopped when I realised I was being watched, stopped and stared back at him. I
was waiting for fear, for him to freak out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Instead
he smiled at me. He smile was so big and wide and it was the first smile I’d
seen in weeks.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">He
told me he had friends trapped in another store further along – they’d hidden
in the store room when the shaking started, and the room had been strong enough
to withstand it but the rest of the store hadn’t. The door was blocked and he’d
been trying and failing to find ways to move the blocks to get them out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Then
he found me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
thought about leaving, about walking away. But that smile.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
was helping him before I’d even really thought about it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">His
friends were lucky – they’d been trapped in a supply closet, plenty of food and
cartons of juice, and the door opened outward enough for them to get some fresh
air and for him to pass through fresh supplies.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">The
smell when I finally got them out – I don’t have the words for it. They’d done
their best, using just one corner of the room, but they hadn’t exactly been
lucky enough to be trapped with a bathroom.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">They
were all so grateful when I got them out – he was crying, tears clearing the
grey dust off his face and revealing the smooth dark skin underneath. They were
all crying. It felt so weird, standing there, watching these strangers cry and
hug each other.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Later
he said I should have a nickname, like Captain Hammer or Princess Powerful. He
said I should have a cape.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
laughed, told him that was a stupid idea. I didn’t tell him how wrong that
felt.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">It
was hard to shake them after that. The group kind of presumed I’d want to head
out with them, and he was looking at me like I was something special, and I
found myself travelling with them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">We
kept heading east, or trying to – we all knew if we could get far enough away
from the coast we’d begin to find towns that hadn’t been affected, ground that
hadn’t been picked up and tossed out like a rug, tearing everything up and off
and scattering it across the landscape.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">It
was hard to know the direction we were going in. All of the roads were in bad
shape, some so torn up they were impassable, and some of the streets were
blocked with fallen buildings, crashed cars.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">On
our third day together we found a lake.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">We
almost literally stumbled across it – it was midday, we were exhausted from the
heat and the sun and the walking. I was just thinking if I had to listen to
nothing but cicadas for one more damn minute I was going to lose it, and then
we turned a corner and <i>surprise</i>.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">Lake.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">We
all just kind of stopped, and looked at each other, and looked at the lake, and
then each other. I swear it was like a corny movie or something, this real
touching moment for the heroes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
don’t know who moved first but suddenly we were all running, running into the
water, tearing off our clothes as we went, dropping our packs, not caring about
who else might be around, who could try to steal our stuff. We sprinted naked
into the water and flung ourselves in.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">It
was the cleanest, coldest thing I’d felt in months. All the grime was floating
off us, off our skin, and I was struck by how different we all looked; under
the grit of the road, hair lank with grease, we’d all looked the same, like
grey ghosts of the people we used to be. In the water our colours came flooding
back.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
found myself next to him, and he was smiling again – god, that <i>smile</i>. Water droplets were running off
the tight black curls of his hair and he was smiling at me and I couldn’t help
but smile back and then we were kissing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Later,
that night, we took each other’s hands and walked off, away from the rest of
the group, to the privacy of the empty night. I climbed on top of him, took him
into me, and watched him watching me. Still smiling. I loved that smile.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
rode him and watched his dark eyes cloud with lust. I rode him and wrapped my
hands around his throat and watched the lust change to surprise change to fear
change to panic. I squeezed, squeezed myself around him and watched the blood
vessels bloom and burst in his eyes, watched until the whites were nothing but
red and I cried out my satisfaction and release. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">It
was easy to just pack up and walk away from the others after that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9087764590265443167.post-29824938237240397942015-10-18T12:14:00.000-07:002015-10-18T12:14:13.093-07:00No Hero - part two<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">The
next three were a practicality. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">I
heard an engine, and when I saw it was a working car I could barely believe it.
I literally rubbed my eyes like a cartoon character. Who knows </span><i style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">where</i><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"> they had found it; the paintwork
was scratched all to hell, the trunk was too bent out of shape to close and the axles looked warped – but despite its kind of rolling limp, it was a real
working car.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">And
I wanted it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
got close enough to see two girls up front and a white guy sat in back. I
stepped out onto the shattered freeway and waved at them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
don’t look much of a threat, especially being as short as I am. They were still
wary, though. I guess they’d watched enough post-apocalyptic-dystopia shows to
be cautious. The driver stopped but kept the engine running and I could see her
looking around, looking for the trap, looking to see if I was alone.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">The
guy spotted me and started to get right out of the car but the girls knew
better than that, they stopped him. I guess some things men just can’t learn.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
waved again, smiled, held my hands out and open. I waited whilst the women
shared a short debate. The sweat trickled down my face and I wondered if the
car’s air-con still worked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
<i>really</i> wanted that car.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">After
a couple minutes the women let the guy out the car whilst they stayed inside.
As he got closer I could see sunburn peeling on his face and neck; either he
hadn’t been with these ladies long, or all three of them had only recently
found the car.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">He
stopped a few feet away from me and I caught him checking me out. That’s when I
knew how easy it would be.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
remember how trusting he looked. Idiot.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">We
made our introductions. I told him the carefully-edited tale of how I’d been
surviving since the quake, how I escaped the wave. He was all smiles, like a
younger Mr Rogers. I remember thinking I could have told him the bloody, brutal
truth and he would still have welcomed me into that car.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">The
ladies were way more cautious; whilst he was talking non-stop, telling his
whole life story, those women were unhappy even giving up their names. I
couldn’t figure how they put up with him, how they hadn’t cut him loose
already. I guess they didn’t think like I do.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
waited until we were moving again before reaching over, grabbing his face in my
hands and snapping his neck. The passenger looked back, startled to hear him
shut up for the first time in his damn life I guess, and I leaned forward and
smashed her face into the dash. The driver was screaming, reaching for
something under her seat. I yanked her arm so hard it nearly ripped off and her
screams changed to shrieks before I snapped her neck, too.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
left them on the side of the road.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">The
car did have air-conditioning.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">The
tenth was a total cliché. He was actually hitchhiking. Like literally stood at
the side of the rode sticking his thumb out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
couldn’t resist.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">He
seemed surprised that I stopped, even more shocked when I let him in and
casually asked where he was heading.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">He
really stank, I remember that, smelled like the kind of guy who hadn’t been big
on personal grooming even before the quake knocked out the water supply.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">It
didn’t take him long to pull a knife on me, and it was all such a trope of the
slasher-film-twist-ending that I started laughing as I took the knife off of
him and used it on him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
had to ditch the car after that. All the blood made it hard to see out the
windshield and I couldn’t exactly swing by the carwash.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">The
sun was mercilessly hot and every sweaty step seemed like a lesson in why you
should think of the little practicalities before killing someone.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Lucky
for me, I didn’t have to walk far before I reached the next town. This one was
busier than those I’d passed through before. There was less damage, I guess no
surprise this far east, and more signs of people making an effort at repair.
The other towns, everyone I’d seen had been in a kind of holding-pattern, just
surviving whilst they waited for something to change. For the National Guard to
roll in, the government to step up, the power to come back on, whatever. But
they were just waiting. In this town someone had taken the lead and was getting
things organised.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">People
stopped to watch me walk in – I remember they were cautious but not hostile. I
remember thinking this was a town that hadn’t seen trouble. They weren’t stupid
enough to be waving and smiling like the Brady Bunch or whatever, but they
weren’t exactly trying to chase me out of town with pitchforks and torches either.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">They
probably should have been.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">We
had a real take-me-to-your-leader moment, some of the older white guys stopping
me to ask where I was heading, who I was with, you know the type. I asked who
was in charge, if I could crash for a few days, offered to help out in exchange
for shelter. They took me to their head honcho, a guy who was still wearing his
honest to god sheriff’s uniform. I nearly laughed in his face, the earnestness
of it all, but I figured this was the kind of place I needed to watch my step.
I kept my face serious and my eyes down. Little practicalities. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">The
townsfolk were friendly in a reserved way, helped me set up camp in a room in a
house that was still almost intact, showed me were they bathed, the latrines, the
dining hall. I figured they had a food store and a weapons cache too, but I
wasn’t stupid enough to ask about them. I helped out, like I’d said, hid my
strength, stuck to simple things like cooking, cleaning, carpentry, scavenging
deserted stores.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">After
weeks of total freedom it made my skin itch and my teeth ache to keep smiling,
keep behaving. I needed the break, though, needed a place to rest where I
didn’t have to watch my back, somewhere I didn’t have to worry about
dehydration. I knew if townsfolk started showing up dead suspicion would
immediately turn to the newcomer, so I clenched my fists and kept my peace.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">The
eleventh was different.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
was waiting. Waiting for a scapegoat to show, or a diversion I could use to
raid their food supply and hit the road again. Waiting for days whilst the
tightness across my shoulders got worse and my fists started to shake when I
clenched them, waited whilst I wondered if the waiting was worth it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">He
showed up on my seventh day there.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Huge
hulking white guy, still rocking a skinhead despite the hassle of keeping that
up without running water and easy access to fresh razors, stained wife-beater
vest that looked like it was probably stained before everything went to hell.
The townsfolk let him in, but they weren’t all happy about it and he wasn’t
exactly happy about all of them. They were suspicious of him, didn’t want him
to stay long.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">He
was my scapegoat <i>and</i> my diversion. He
didn’t even last a full day before he played his hand.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
was on my way back to my room when I heard them – his voice low, hers high and
afraid. I turned a corner and saw them. He was grabbing at her shirt, looming
over her, shoved her to the ground.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">She
picked up a length of piping and came up swinging.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">He
didn’t expect it and her hit knocked him back, made him loose his balance. She
didn’t hesitate, brought the pipe round again at his head. He dropped to all
fours this time, then grabbed for her legs. I stepped in behind him and stomped
my foot down on his back.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">We
killed him together.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">She
trusted me with everything after that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Later,
I took her with me when I left. Didn’t tell her what I’d left behind. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">We
hit the road with everything we could carry, plus me with everything she didn’t
know I’d taken. She used to wake up crying, sometimes screaming, said she had
nightmares. She said in every dream she could hear that <i>roaring</i>, that <i>rushing</i>
sound as the endless wall of water came flooding in. Said she kept dreaming of
her family, what happened to them. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">She’d
been hiking when it happened, way up in the hills. When the ground started
shaking like a monster waking up, she’d been out in the open – just fell to the
ground, crouched there whilst trees toppled around her and the ground moved
like a living thing and when it was over she stood up without a scratch on her.
A miracle, she thought.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Until
she heard the roaring. The rushing. The wave. She was high up, way above the
town she lived in, and she had the perfect view of that wave crashing in and
wiping out everything she’d ever known and loved. For those first fifteen minutes
after the quake, before the wake, she’d thought she’d experienced a miracle.
She said that was the worst part, the most bitter part – that irony.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">She
asked me if I had the nightmares, too, and I nodded, stayed silent, tried to
look sad.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
didn’t tell her I don’t dream at all.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
still don’t know whether to count her, whether she was my fifteenth. We were
taking a shortcut when it happened, the stupidest thing, she stepped on a
section of pavement that looked safe but wasn’t. The slab of tarmac shifted
under her feet and she fell down and sideways into one of those rips in the
ground and the tarmac slammed back down onto her leg.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
left her screaming, too.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9087764590265443167.post-59089990619911091722015-10-13T11:14:00.002-07:002015-10-15T14:39:29.464-07:00No Hero - part one<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">The
first one felt like self-preservation.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
knew I couldn’t get her – so I didn’t try.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">It
was in all the safety information. “No heroics”. The ads literally said that.
“No heroics. Don’t go back for people. Don’t wait. <i>Run</i>.” So I did. I heard the sirens sounding and I ran.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Later,
I wondered about it. If I could have helped her. But nobody spoke about it,
about how <i>they </i>survived, who they
didn’t go back for, who they didn’t wait for.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">So
I stopped wondering.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">The
second didn’t seem to count. Those first few days, after it happened – it was
all such a mess. We all did what we had to. I saw this guy, and the gang
running after him, hunting him down, and I thought about stepping in. About
being a hero.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">But
I was afraid. And I think it crossed my mind, somewhere deep down, that if I
helped him I’d be responsible for him and he’d be another mouth to feed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">A
burden.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">So
I left him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">The
third I felt bad about. She was trapped, her legs crushed – this was three days
after it happened, I was amazed she was still alive. Her legs had started to
rot, I could smell them as I got close, rotten meat and rotten vegetables from
all the produce turning to mulch around her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I’d
gone into the remains of a grocery store, trying to find food, maybe some bottled
water. I found her in there. I wasn’t the first: the store had been nearly
cleaned out of anything canned, bottled or boxed. The heat was intense – no
air-conditioning obviously. What wasn’t rotting was drying out, sort of
mummifying. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">There
were a few bottles of water next to her, some empty, some not; boxes of
crackers; a few cans; a can-opener; a torch. I could see where someone had
tried to make a lever and fulcrum, tried to lift the concrete beam off her and
failed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">She
was crying. She begged me for help. To release her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I’m
still not sure what kind of release she was asking for.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
left her. I felt bad for her – but I took the water, the cans, the tools, the
torch.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
felt bad that I left her screaming.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">The
fourth was an accident.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">We’d
both stumbled across each other in what had been a motel. I wanted a place to
crash, had faint hopes of a stocked vending machine, ice buckets full of clean
melted water, the lottery-win-remote odds of enough water in the pipes for a
shower.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">She
surprised me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
thought I was alone, was letting down my guard, was scouting for what I could
use. She popped up from behind a desk, popped up and out at me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
remember she was small, smaller than me, maybe younger than me, maybe a kid.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
hit her before I knew what I was doing, I hit her before checking my strength,
hit her with no holding back.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">My
fist connected with her face and her head whipped sideways and there was a <i>crunch</i> and she dropped like someone had
flipped a switch.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">On/off.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Alive/dead.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
checked her pockets, her bag. She had a gun, a pistol probably too big and
heavy for her small hands to use. There were bullets, a pocket-knife, a
half-empty pack of Oreos, a carton of milk so warm and swollen I didn’t even
want to open it, a comic, a brownish apple.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
left the comic. Superheroes didn’t make me feel so good anymore.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
took her bag, packed up her stuff and mine. It was an accident, but I still
needed to survive and she didn’t.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">The
fifth I barely remember. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">What
came before and after, it stands out pretty sharp in my memory. But the fifth,
I guess it just felt kind of mundane. Trivial. He’d caught up with me on the
highway, seemed like he’d been watching me for a while. Said he’d found that
still-warm kid back at the motel, said he knew I’d understand, that I’d get why
he had to take my stuff.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">My</span></i><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"> stuff.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
don’t remember his face, his voice; it was twilight and we were alongside one
of those huge <i>rips</i> in the ground, a
fissure hundreds of feet long, totally black inside, like something had just
grabbed the ground and torn it apart – which is pretty much what actually
happened, I guess.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
remember he screamed as I shoved him in. I remember he screamed for a <i>while</i> and I was surprised, still able to
be surprised, at how deep he fell and how long he screamed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
don’t remember if I took his stuff first or not.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">The
sixth was vengeance. First for them, and then for me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">They
were his friends, I think – they didn’t know exactly what had happened, but
they knew <i>something</i> had happened and
he’d been following me and then he wasn’t.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I’d
been walking along that broken black tarmac when I heard them running after me,
heard them shouting some guy’s name and then yelling at me as they got closer
and could see my silhouette against the gloom of nightfall.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">For
those first few seconds I was scared, and I ran. Ran like I had when I heard
those sirens and knew the wave was coming. Ran the way you do when your life
depends on it – not just as a simile, but when you know your life literally
depends on how quickly you can get to higher ground.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">They
caught up with me anyway.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">They
might have been older than me, were definitely taller than me, and I couldn’t
sprint faster than they could.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
guess no surprises they survived the wave.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">When
they caught me they were all yelling over each other, grabbing my jacket,
grabbing the girl’s backpack I’d taken, yelling their friend’s name, yelling at
each other. I saw their hands clench into fists and there was a moment when I
started to prepare myself to take a beating.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">But
then I lost it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I’d
never really let go before, never chosen to just completely, no-holds-barred,
no pulling punches, no checking myself <i>let
go</i>. It felt good. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">They
were so shocked at first that it took them a few slow seconds to start trying
to fight back, trying to defend themselves. All I could hear were the wet,
crunching, popping sounds whenever my fists made contact.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">One
guy, I hit him right below the eye and it was like his cheek disintegrated, his
whole face just caved in and he dropped cold.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">The
others saw that and stopped trying to fight and started running instead. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
chased after them, but they were still too fast for me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
went back to him, to my sixth. I was still so mad, so full of this lashing,
burning rage. I kept pounding at his face until his head was just a smear on
the pavement.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I
felt better after that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9087764590265443167.post-83365317005928766282013-07-02T17:01:00.000-07:002013-07-02T17:01:05.790-07:00Top Ten Movie Moments<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I originally posted this way-back-when on the Empire Online forums, but I've had about three separate conversations recently in which I mentioned my list, so thought I'd track it down and post it here. Spoiler warning! These films are all at least two years old now, but if you haven't seen 'em look away now.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I hereby present, edited for my current tastes, my Top Ten Greatest Movie Moments:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>10. Die Hard</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Now I have a machine gun. Ho ho ho.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEie9MCIXmoanLKLRe98uVaDDxJPsMk-28gZ6BIRjkBmxUwspOzn3KDA6RA6Zo3WEhJDKE_EyV1EUnxlrGU5d-PeadqX_XzCgDBvLKArURF2eUaH9bBmtilPz2nwu4GkNDxXSLD8zqma9MGU/s500/DIE+HARD.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="185" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEie9MCIXmoanLKLRe98uVaDDxJPsMk-28gZ6BIRjkBmxUwspOzn3KDA6RA6Zo3WEhJDKE_EyV1EUnxlrGU5d-PeadqX_XzCgDBvLKArURF2eUaH9bBmtilPz2nwu4GkNDxXSLD8zqma9MGU/s320/DIE+HARD.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Best Christmas film ever.</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If I need to explain any further, you and I can't really be friends, 'kay?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">9. Kill Bill Vol. 1</span> </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">For obvious I-love-a-great-fight-scene reasons. This is one kick-ass fight scene: The Bride taking on the Crazy 88, and then the moment when Go-Go steps up and starts swinging... </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMYx5waCFS9QheB57DlCHx1aa0tyvUay98UsCuuiWaehGo5gtsqdokrNpDQeuIhl9Hvv8zSrxag8E-MCwSRHiUgcZau6AofTTnofNjvg2GNBZRlEoalJ0kDb3a5revn4TP6EA342SiGCuy/s1400/gogo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMYx5waCFS9QheB57DlCHx1aa0tyvUay98UsCuuiWaehGo5gtsqdokrNpDQeuIhl9Hvv8zSrxag8E-MCwSRHiUgcZau6AofTTnofNjvg2GNBZRlEoalJ0kDb3a5revn4TP6EA342SiGCuy/s320/gogo.jpg" width="208" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">8. The Avengers</span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Essentially I could put in every scene from this film, because </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I love it so much it was perfect eeeeeeeeeeecantwaitforavengerstwoeeeeeeeeescarletwitch. </i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ahem, anyway, narrowing it down to one favourite scene: "Thank you for your cooperation."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxnblMcYI7wndKgHpCw7ELw8kOtuPYKkw7e0TrXlJ2Gyt2Dkh7sVjDUGbKlmAsDx3Y2MZphwiFN7QSTe6_Kr4VwDqJpGjhpw6oJvXSiuL2m7sKFe6FjvwqWhVNcTvf2c5PtQdslC3IauXz/s625/black+widow.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxnblMcYI7wndKgHpCw7ELw8kOtuPYKkw7e0TrXlJ2Gyt2Dkh7sVjDUGbKlmAsDx3Y2MZphwiFN7QSTe6_Kr4VwDqJpGjhpw6oJvXSiuL2m7sKFe6FjvwqWhVNcTvf2c5PtQdslC3IauXz/s320/black+widow.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">NATASHA I LOVE YOU</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I just adore the way this scene plays with expectations: Black Widow goes to interrogate the recently-captured Loki, who seems to be totally destroying her with his knowledge of her bloody and violent past. And then <i>whammy</i>; the reveal that Natasha just cold does not give a shit and has been playing along to get Loki to unintentionally reveal his Super Villain plot. I wanted to stand up and cheer.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Honorable Mention goes to the final end-boss scene with the Chitauri. All of it; although I draw the discerning audience's attention to the following:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgf6fKiwx-f8XQEoRQjsw-I4SJXd13Gtr0iTFUkDz5YswxJWXl3qzoP4bBROce9Q0stgmtGOhCrZjxo01S2qfDU4sRjeiub-uy8vaAtsTRO64iqSFXto9bdcUZnKxmUJFwu8XOzQUyQWoUR/s450/lightening.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="175" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgf6fKiwx-f8XQEoRQjsw-I4SJXd13Gtr0iTFUkDz5YswxJWXl3qzoP4bBROce9Q0stgmtGOhCrZjxo01S2qfDU4sRjeiub-uy8vaAtsTRO64iqSFXto9bdcUZnKxmUJFwu8XOzQUyQWoUR/s320/lightening.png" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">"You got the lightening. Light the bastards up."</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Thor using the Chrysler Building as a lightening conductor. YES PLEASE.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /><b><span style="font-size: large;">7. Fight Club </span></b> <br />I have to confess to some self-division over which scene to select as the best from this movie. Now, admittedly, hearing the opening bars to The Pixies' "Where Is My Mind?" while the skyscrapers explode on-screen is pretty fucking cool, and one of the best endings <i>ever</i>, but I think what really takes the cake for me is when we first learn the real identity of Tyler Durden. <br /> <br />"Please return seats to the locked and upright position." I did <i>not</i> see it coming <i>at all</i> - it was stunning, suddenly after to review and re-evaluate every scene in the film, having your perspective on characters knocked out of orbit - I LOVED it. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7gLVmKMBeMjBmwh9prUabQrwKd-xDvjdK3E1zYaI8CMIFyDcF61k3XTDe7I7mEUz40G5j_-NjAbRDRTHVRS6nGz0SjFWkI6GFRKxzt6XmWDFgLlfYfVUTALDw1tT4wJuf2JPBAfwjBcl2/s1600/tyler+durden.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7gLVmKMBeMjBmwh9prUabQrwKd-xDvjdK3E1zYaI8CMIFyDcF61k3XTDe7I7mEUz40G5j_-NjAbRDRTHVRS6nGz0SjFWkI6GFRKxzt6XmWDFgLlfYfVUTALDw1tT4wJuf2JPBAfwjBcl2/s320/tyler+durden.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">"You met me at a very strange time in my life."</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">6. The Usual Suspects </span></b></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Well, it has to be added, doesn't it? Specifically, the unveiling of Keyser Soze. As with Fight Club, I did not suspect a thing - I love the slow-motion of the detective dropping his cup of coffee, each flash revealing all the details Verbal used to craft his lie, and the way his walk changes as he leaves the station... Hats off, round of applause, masterpiece theatre.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1ZFhL_KfzDeOpaJCkgzbdrKwUKROXKNhyphenhyphenZmyN8pIoiE4M6gVQSI5_127GfJHh9LVKWW32iUMWUKGml2oNlvjJly4TiBXDQY1Hp6ThVcbqm5Dll98NJwX4IBweWpRdWkiaKDvethdKvu0z/s1280/keyser+soze.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1ZFhL_KfzDeOpaJCkgzbdrKwUKROXKNhyphenhyphenZmyN8pIoiE4M6gVQSI5_127GfJHh9LVKWW32iUMWUKGml2oNlvjJly4TiBXDQY1Hp6ThVcbqm5Dll98NJwX4IBweWpRdWkiaKDvethdKvu0z/s320/keyser+soze.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">"The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist."</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>5. The Dark Knight</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There are so many scenes from this film that I could choose - it blows me away every time I watch it - but strong as the opening scene is, what really, </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">really</i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> gets me is the scene they closed a Chicago block to film: Joker hitting the police line, the surprise reveal of Jim Gordon, and then </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">this</b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCCimSqM8iLgF-eus52UReIL-O8AfgQ0SCd1yNRRV4ewrAmqIjWr_9Jz8SMMT1cA9fSno6II2gf9lGmYtSpvZg35sFTLcSTRntD0-3RfRjvr_Kal9QjzePBP7aI-P7lCfUye3qHXdrOmvx/s320/dark+knight+rises.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="240" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">"And here. We. <i>Go."</i></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCCimSqM8iLgF-eus52UReIL-O8AfgQ0SCd1yNRRV4ewrAmqIjWr_9Jz8SMMT1cA9fSno6II2gf9lGmYtSpvZg35sFTLcSTRntD0-3RfRjvr_Kal9QjzePBP7aI-P7lCfUye3qHXdrOmvx/s400/dark+knight+rises.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I could watch that scene on repeat for the rest of time. Beautiful.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">4. The Shawshank Redemption</span></b> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Do I even need to explain? After <i>years</i> of physical and psychological abuse, which (we think) Andy takes without complaint... After gang-rapes, the shooting of his young </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">p</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">rotégé,</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Warden Norton's refusal to act on evidence that Andy really is innocent, all the other horrors he endures - he crawls through the length of three football fields, rips off his soiled shirt and holds his arms up to freedom. The music swells, you feel the triumph of Andy's will and determination over adversity and it brings a tear to my eye every. Single. Time. I always feel like applauding this scene - simply magnificent. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQ6t5B1CGX6yejf8zJBjZeQIO81zrHsOwLTIZShw-bUkiU4c-c65gCdbZV3g1QfxGVW10Z8-EZN0VYcbBGzr1x2hTLH6tUBBu7EpPjte657Bm52NJNOwxXeevEbR2v3ojTB5t9eh4U0Iu6/s1154/rain.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><img border="0" height="223" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQ6t5B1CGX6yejf8zJBjZeQIO81zrHsOwLTIZShw-bUkiU4c-c65gCdbZV3g1QfxGVW10Z8-EZN0VYcbBGzr1x2hTLH6tUBBu7EpPjte657Bm52NJNOwxXeevEbR2v3ojTB5t9eh4U0Iu6/s400/rain.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">"You remember the name of the <i>town</i>, don't you?"</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">3. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Jaws</span></b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Nope, not the first attack and the first time we hear <i>that</i> theme music; not even the final "Smile, you son of a bitch!" What really makes this movie for me, what elevates it beyond a horror or a by-the-numbers early example of the summer blockbuster - what really raises the bar on this movie is Captain Quint. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZsNbVDlpdNt8NlQwD5Y3gdrLO-JdhpGTyh6XRO9gEowvBBnWlEZn3JrRk_jIkPv-fVqNbLRrPQKC5ki1GpwjYlV-cT61-h8gEsy8pdadkvK2GAdSyevwqbYSx6gTGoIipuIjIr3EcUo5D/s564/bow-legged+women.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="173" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZsNbVDlpdNt8NlQwD5Y3gdrLO-JdhpGTyh6XRO9gEowvBBnWlEZn3JrRk_jIkPv-fVqNbLRrPQKC5ki1GpwjYlV-cT61-h8gEsy8pdadkvK2GAdSyevwqbYSx6gTGoIipuIjIr3EcUo5D/s400/bow-legged+women.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">"Here's to swimmin' with bow-legged women."</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To be precise, when the three guys are on board the </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Orca</i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> bonding and joking around over drinks in the evening, and we get around to this: </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> <br />"Japanese submarine slammed two torpedoes into our side, Chief. We was comin' back from the island of Tinian to Leyte... just delivered the bomb. The Hiroshima bomb. Eleven hundred men went into the water. Vessel went down in 12 minutes. Didn't see the first shark for about a half an hour. Tiger. 13-footer. You know how you know that when you're in the water, Chief? You tell by looking from the dorsal to the tail. What we didn't know, was our bomb mission had been so secret, no distress signal had been sent. They didn't even list us overdue for a week. Very first light, Chief, sharks come cruisin', so we formed ourselves into tight groups. You know, it was kinda like old squares in the battle like you see in the calendar named "The Battle of Waterloo" and the idea was: shark comes to the nearest man, that man he starts poundin' and hollerin' and screamin' and sometimes the shark go away... but sometimes he wouldn't go away. Sometimes that shark he looks right into ya. Right into your eyes. And, you know, the thing about a shark... he's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes. When he comes at ya, doesn't seem to be living... until he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then... ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin'. The ocean turns red, and despite all the poundin' and the hollerin', they all come in and they... rip you to pieces. You know by the end of that first dawn, lost a hundred men. I don't know how many sharks, maybe a thousand. I know how many men, they averaged six an hour. On Thursday morning, Chief, I bumped into a friend of mine, Herbie Robinson from Cleveland. Baseball player. Boatswain's mate. I thought he was asleep. I reached over to wake him up. Bobbed up, down in the water just like a kinda top. Upended. Well, he'd been bitten in half below the waist. Noon, the fifth day, Mr. Hooper, a Lockheed Ventura saw us. He swung in low and he saw us... he was a young pilot, a lot younger than Mr. Hooper. Anyway, he saw us and he come in low and three hours later a big fat PBY comes down and starts to pick us up. You know that was the time I was most frightened... waitin' for my turn. I'll never put on a lifejacket again. So, eleven hundred men went in the water; 316 men come out and the sharks took the rest, June the 29th, 1945. Anyway, we delivered the bomb."<br /><br />Give that man an Oscar. Just reading it and I get goosebumps and my eyes tear up. Why I insist on making people watch <i>Jaws</i> if they haven't already.<br /> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /><b><span style="font-size: large;">2. Jurassic Park </span></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I was eleven years old when I saw this at the cinema - and it was probably one of the <i>single greatest moments of my life</i>. <b>EVER</b>. God I love this film, almost more than I can put into words (I was a dinosaur geek when younger, had read and loved the book, and then I saw actual dinosaurs and nearly <i>lost my tiny young mind</i>). And this is the moment that makes it for me - the cars stop, the power goes off, and you just <i>know</i> something's going to go wrong.<br />Then it starts.<br /> <br />The slow, menacing <i>thump</i>, the water ripples in the cup on the dashboard, Genarro's desperate "Maybe it's the power trying to come back on", Lex asking where the goat's gone... And it all kicks off. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiAsGOaJ1B5XssKvHDsam3OZFgqk5IspKPG3XtmcFqbUdVxkKR-SgdRokFsEU6Ke1Uyria1WcSKL_sDCIpZvHzakR9NBPUoi6loZLSlR2FsnG8BmUenDg5wdeBNTWyjyMNn-tFG2P6IywT/s610/we+have+a+t+rex.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="196" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiAsGOaJ1B5XssKvHDsam3OZFgqk5IspKPG3XtmcFqbUdVxkKR-SgdRokFsEU6Ke1Uyria1WcSKL_sDCIpZvHzakR9NBPUoi6loZLSlR2FsnG8BmUenDg5wdeBNTWyjyMNn-tFG2P6IywT/s320/we+have+a+t+rex.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">"It can't see you if you don't move!"</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The goat leg drops onto the roof of the car and, with Tim, we get that long pan from ground-level up to our first look at the T-Rex. And it's </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">fucking spectacular</i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">. Its claws brushing down the sign warning about high voltage, the scream of metal under stress as the Rex begins to rip its way through the fence, and that roar. </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That roar</i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">. Every single damn time I watch this movie I have the surround-sound on full volume, and I don't know about you guys but for me even 20* years' of viewing hasn't made it any less cool and downright impressive. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> <br />The whole attack is so brilliantly well done - the effects are superb (and still held up when I watched it on re-release in the cinema last year), the Rex still looks real and very, <i>very </i>present, you really get involved. It's total edge-of-your-seat thrills; it still gets me. Every time <i>Jurassic Park</i> is on TV, despite the fact I own it (wore out my VHS copy, had to buy it again on DVD) I still have to change channel to watch the Rex attack. This is what cinema is all about. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">1. Aliens </span></b><br /> The <i>thud</i> of the loader's steps. The noise of the arms moving. The hissing breath of the xenomorph queen. And then:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Get away from her you <i>bitch</i>!" </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEic9l_h6yAHpB2PLmwxD-XcW7tANY8MUFSSSlT0G_TbB2T0pzG9zqXTwskOfxNpAboDqFSji52sL5afZMHrCgGlI7nIznJ9_tOYUtKAULpiTvRc0EcFABq3a-uPdyrTrNRVXdP3sEadO9Wi/s1280/ripley.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="344" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEic9l_h6yAHpB2PLmwxD-XcW7tANY8MUFSSSlT0G_TbB2T0pzG9zqXTwskOfxNpAboDqFSji52sL5afZMHrCgGlI7nIznJ9_tOYUtKAULpiTvRc0EcFABq3a-uPdyrTrNRVXdP3sEadO9Wi/s640/ripley.png" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">"You know how to work one of those?"</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />Gives me chills with every viewing. The moment those bay doors open, the clomp-clomp of the loader as Ripley steps forward, and then one of my favourite movie fight scenes in the showdown with the alien queen. A real punch-the-air experience. <i>Aliens</i> is an excellent film in all respects and this scene is just the icing on the cake. Plus, Ripley; badass female action hero. To paraphrase a musical favourite of mine, there goes <i>my</i> hero.</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9087764590265443167.post-78236300595623244002013-04-13T03:52:00.000-07:002013-04-13T03:52:39.746-07:00On Assault, and Why Your "Safety Tips For Women" Aren't Helping<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There has been a lot of attention recently on rape, and assault, and what women can do to help keep themselves safe. Posts get shared on social media that claim to be tips gleaned from talking to convicted rapists (with no sources or citations, of course) about what they looked for in a victim. The top tip on one such post is that rapists look for long hair or a ponytail. The <i>top tip</i> is telling women how they should style their hair. Yesterday enough was enough and I flipped out over one such post, and I'd like to have the opportunity to explain, in full, why posts like those are not helpful and why I had such a strong emotional reaction to the post in question.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">First things first, such tips are always written as ways women can avoid being raped by a stranger when outside the home. This normalises the idea that rape always means a stranger in an alley. When everyone is encouraged to believe that "rape" equates to "stranger in an alley" this makes it less believable when you report a different experience. It means that juries, police, your community and so on are less willing to accept that anything other than "dark alley rape" really was a rape. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">According to the National Health and Social Life Survey of 2011, conducted in the USA, stranger rape only accounts for 4% of rape. Rape Crisis UK highlight that only 9% of rapes are committed by strangers, and furthermore: </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
[...] that 28% of women who are victims of the most serious sexual offences never tell anyone about it,<br />
and we know from our experience within the Rape Crisis movement that only around 15% of women<br />
and girls who experience sexual violence ever report to the police.<br />
<br />
One reason women and girls tell us they are reluctant to talk about their experiences is a fear of not<br />
being believed, or of being blamed for what has happened to them, as well as feelings of shame or<br />
self-blame. (<a href="http://www.rapecrisis.org.uk/mythsampfacts2.php" target="_blank">Source</a>)<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Reinforcing</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> the concept that rape = stranger-in-alley just makes the situation worse for the victims of assault. It helps to reinforce the idea that anything else isn't "really" rape. There's also the dark potential that this public perception of rape might support abusers in their belief that what they're doing isn't rape at all. "I'm not a stranger in an alley, so therefore this isn't a rape". To refer again to Rape Crisis:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<strong><em> Myth </em></strong><em>Men who rape or sexually assault are mentally ill or monsters. </em><br />
<strong> Fact</strong> Studies have indicated that as few as 5% of men are psychotic at the time of their crimes. Few<br />
convicted rapists are referred for psychiatric treatment. (<a href="http://www.rapecrisis.org.uk/commonmyths2.php" target="_blank">Source</a> - and yes, this refers to men only, but<br />
women rape too.)<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Rapists aren't monsters or "psychos"; they're people, who might want to abuse their power over someone, or feel they have power by committing a rape, or think that they're not raping at all. There are <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Causes_of_sexual_violence" target="_blank">many and varied reasons</a> why people rape and being mentally ill only counts for a tiny percentage of that.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Another problem is that these posts and messages are always aimed at <i>women</i>. The figures from the States report that 1 in 10 rape victims is male. In the UK in 2011, there were 69,000 female rape victims and 9,000 male rape victims. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(Some sources for the cold hard statistical figures can be found </span><a href="http://thehathorlegacy.com/rape-statistics/" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;" target="_blank">here</a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> and also </span><a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/news/datablog/2013/jan/11/male-female-rape-statistics-graphic" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;" target="_blank">on this site</a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> for UK figures. For a comprehensive list of UK crime reports, visit </span><a href="http://www.rapecrisis.org.uk/Statistics2.php" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;" target="_blank">Rape Crisis</a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">.) </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Men get raped too; sometimes by other men, sometimes by women. And yes, "dark alley rape" does sometimes occur - 4-9% of rapes are committed by strangers. So, if these posts are </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">really</i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> aimed at making people safer, </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">why aren't they written for men as well as women</i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">? Why are they gendered at all? Why is it only </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">women</i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> who are told to modify their behaviour? Why is it only </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">women</i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> who are taught to live in fear, change their clothes, follow certain rules, encouraged to view every man on the street as a potential rapist? Why not write these for men as well, if the intention is really to help keep us all safe?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">These messages carry the implication that if you follow these rules, do X, avoid Y, you'll be safe from sexual assault. But that's a myth. Most rapists (<a href="http://www.rapecrisis.org.uk/maritalrape2.php" target="_blank">about 85% in fact</a>) are known to the victim. It's a friend, a relative, a date, a partner. Not wearing your hair in a ponytail won't stop your abusive spouse from raping you. There is the insidious implication that if/when you get sexually assaulted, it's your fault because you weren't careful enough. You didn't follow the rules. You were asking for it. It</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> contributes to a culture of victim-blaming. As </span><a href="http://cellularscale.blogspot.co.uk/2013/03/advice-vs-victim-blaming-proposed-study.html" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;" target="_blank">this</a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">post shows, rape carries way more victim-blame than robbery and also states that, by definition, rape is not under the victim's control. These "safety tips" suggest that there are things you can and should do to avoid being raped, ergo if you get raped it's due to a failing on your part. (Also please, please read </span><a href="http://hilaroar.tumblr.com/post/45957899437/safetytipsforladies-or-why-victim-blaming-is" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;" target="_blank">this glorious post</a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> on how these Safety Tips For Women! are patronising at best, damaging at worst.)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My final issue with posts on how women should "keep themselves safe" is that they normalise the idea that only women get raped. I can barely even guess how awful that must be for the victims of rape and sexual assault who are not cis female. My best guess is that this must make the situation all the worse for them; how emasculating it must be for some, how it adds to the trauma for others, how it reduces the sympathy some might otherwise have received, how hard it must be to convince friends, relatives, the authorities, that what happened to you was really rape. It must make it easier for women and persons known to the victim to get away with rape, too, as all the focus is on strange male perpetrators.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When people (men and women) get defensive about these "safety tip" posts, these messages, these attitudes, it makes it even worse. You find yourself apologising for the fact you were so sickened by something that you had to speak out. You find yourself less willing to speak out in future - which further contributes to the rape culture we live in. And we do live in a rape culture. O</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">f the estimated 60,000 to 95,000 rapes in England and Wales, only 15,670 became police recorded crimes and of those a minuscule 1,070 persons were convicted of rape (again see <a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/news/datablog/2013/jan/11/male-female-rape-statistics-graphic" target="_blank">here</a>). That's not even 10% of the lowest estimate. Hell, that's not even 10% of the <i>recorded </i>crimes. A conviction rate of less than 10%. What a strong, clear message that sends to abusers and rapists - that it's okay to rape, you'll get away with it. W</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">omen are objects, assault us all you want, and if we try to report it you probably won't be charged with anything, because, well, we weren't careful enough to avoid a rape, were we? We didn't follow your tips. </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We were asking for it</i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">. And if you do get convicted, don't worry! The media will probably be on your side anyway (see the </span><a href="http://now.msn.com/candy-crowley-and-poppy-harlow-appear-to-side-with-convicted-steubenville-rapists-trent-mays-and-malik-richmond" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;" target="_blank">hideous</a> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and awful</span> <a href="http://jezebel.com/5991148/fox-news-manages-to-out+awful-everyone-by-naming-steubenville-victim-on-tv" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;" target="_blank">reporting</a> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">on the Steubenville rape case). </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If there's a half-naked character in film, TV, a comic, a game, chances are that character is cis female. If there's a character with a back-story of rape and abuse, chances are that character is cis female. We encourage sayings like "look at the tits on that", like women aren't even people, aren't even human. Men in bars and clubs and on trains and in the street seem to think it's okay to grab our breasts, our bottoms, to yell graphic sexual slurs and suggestions. Whilst everyone gets abuse on the internet, women get threats of rape and sexual assault thrown in for good measure. Women in posters and adverts are shown in objectified ways so frequently that viewers now see women in lingerie as <i>actual objects </i>whilst the same isn't true for men in underwear (two scientific studies found this, shown <a href="http://www.worldcrunch.com/tech-science/women-seen-as-sex-objects-now-there-039-s-scientific-proof/objectification-sex-object-sexism-feminism/c4s9352/" target="_blank">here</a>). </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I don't even want to get started on how many magazine articles and radio shows focus on stories of men who were falsely accused of rape. It breaks my heart and sends my blood pressure sky-rocketing to think that, of the <i>less than 10% of convictions for rape</i>, the media want us to focus on the stories of false accusation. Although I'm sure false accusations do happen, it is <a href="http://www.theforensicexaminer.com/archive/spring09/15/" target="_blank">nearly impossible to accurately judge</a> the percentage of false accusations and emphasising such cases is damaging to all victims of sexual assault who try to speak out. It further pushes the perception that "dark alley rape" is the only "real" rape and that if you know your attacker well enough to name them then they can't "really" be a rapist at all.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I know you mean well. I know you're trying to help, that the thinking is "if even one women is saved from rape by a stranger, then surely that's a good thing". </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But at best, your tips are only relevant in 4-9% of cases. At best, you're helping around 7020 people reduce the chances of their being raped and making 70,980 people feel they were to blame for their attack or that their rape wasn't a rape at all. At worst, you're making it harder for 70,980 people to bring their attacker to justice or even be believed by their own community. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Instead of teaching women they need to conform to set rules or be punished, why don't we put all this effort and focus into changing our rape culture? Why don't we ask the </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">police</i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> to change their behaviour, to take all reports of assault seriously? Why don't we argue that what a victim was wearing and what their sexual history is has </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">no bearing</i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> and </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">no relevance</i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> in a report of rape or sexual assault? Why don't we teach that groping a stranger, coercing a reluctant partner, having sexual contact with someone too drunk or high to resist counts as rape? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You may argue that it's pointless trying to teach rapists not to rape - but you're wrong. Read a little something about how <a href="http://www.sparksummit.com/2013/04/10/research-blog-teaching-men-rape-prevention-actually-works/" target="_blank">rape prevention messages aimed at men actually work</a>. As Zerlina Maxwell so brilliantly said on Fox News:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
“I think that the entire conversation is wrong. I don’t want anybody to be telling women anything. I don’t<br />
want men to be telling me what to wear and how to act, not to drink. And I don’t, honestly, want you<br />
to tell me that I needed a gun in order to prevent my rape. … I think we should be telling men not to<br />
rape women and start the conversation there with prevention.” (<a href="http://www.democracynow.org/2013/3/15/teaching_men_not_to_rape_survivor" target="_blank">Video and transcript here</a>)<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You may want to argue we don't live in a rape culture, that rape will be a threat regardless of how our society works. But consider this: </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
“Rape-free societies were characterized by sexual equality in which both genders shared power<br />
and were deemed to make important contributions, albeit in different ways, to the welfare of the<br />
society” (Rathus, Nevid, and Fichner-Rathus, 573).<br />
- “The more egalitarian and integrated the society, the less rape” (Schwartz and Rutter, 69).<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If social pressures and social attitudes had no bearing, then rape statistics would be consistent across different societies and would be the same for different economic and racial groups. But they aren't. We need to take the focus <i>off</i> the victims and put it <i>on </i>the the attackers and the police and the judges and the juries. We need to stop telling women to live in fear and start telling society that <b>rape is not okay</b>.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yes, it's smart to take precautions in life - lock your front door, keep valuables out of sight in your car, don't walk alone in dangerous parts of town - but no, we shouldn't be telling women, and women alone, that they need to go as far as <i>changing their damn hairstyle</i> in order to try to avoid being victims of rape. Because again, to drive the point home. These tips are no guarantee of protection from "dark alley rape". These tips are useless for avoiding most situations where sexual assault is likely to occur. And sharing these tips encourages a community that believes victims of rape deserve it because they weren't careful enough.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You do not deserve to be raped.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It is not your fault if you are raped or assaulted.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Only the rapist can be blamed for your rape.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We can teach rapists not to rape, and it makes a positive difference.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That's the message I wish we shared on social media. That's the message we should be sending out. That's the change I want us to start making.</span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9087764590265443167.post-83822942763384238642012-10-14T09:22:00.000-07:002012-10-14T09:22:20.498-07:00The Fitness Diaries, part one<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I recently made the decision that it was about damn time I get fit. Never one to do things by halves, I've signed up to do the <a href="http://www.greatrun.org/events/event.aspx?id=4" target="_blank">Bupa Great Manchester Run</a> in May - and you can sponsor me at:</span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.virginmoneygiving.com/KirstyRuns">http://www.virginmoneygiving.com/KirstyRuns</a></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I started with the fitness kick at the beginning of September. So far I've lost 8lbs and gone from running/walking (okay, mostly walking) 1k in 9 minutes 20 seconds, to running 1.89k in 11 minutes 31 seconds, non-stop. It's a gradual improvement, but I'm pretty damn proud of myself for putting the effort in!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I've been hitting the gym 3 to 5 times a week, mixing weights with cardio and classes to improve my fitness levels. I made the decision to do the Manchester 10k recently and have started proper running training in the last week. My first outdoor run was Wednesday. I ran 1.06 miles in 11 minutes 58 seconds, today I managed 1.18 miles in 11 minutes 31 seconds.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So go me!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm raising money for <a href="http://www.mind.org.uk/" target="_blank">Mind</a> and anything you can donate will make a massive difference to the charity. I'll keep you posted with how my training goes!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9087764590265443167.post-69139004037660917182012-04-09T07:55:00.000-07:002012-04-09T07:55:06.677-07:00Cheesed Off<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I've written a guest post for my friend's award-winning blog,<a href="http://cardiffbites.blogspot.co.uk/" target="_blank"> Cardiff Bites</a>. Read it <a href="http://cardiffbites.blogspot.co.uk/2012/04/guest-post-cheesed-off.html#!/2012/04/guest-post-cheesed-off.html" target="_blank">here</a>!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">...And then join the debate on <a href="https://twitter.com/#!/Winskillfull" target="_blank">Twitter</a>.</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9087764590265443167.post-34204112519189176892012-02-11T15:26:00.001-08:002012-02-11T15:26:59.962-08:00Sharing Your Home<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There are a few pros and cons to co-habiting with another person. I've broken the essentials down for you, so you can make an informed decision about whether you want to share your living space or not.</span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiA1Ljtbzi_9KCRxI0kQABgbvuNRjTEtgp9zHgUS03bgk-WqRlIHTpPbTbr3c6bvjtTg0jqB_XEWoaXCV8NtVqnXbsW3oQmbDpe0urDEFZHpl6B9Thkc0d83C79yPO1gjMeJC7t7n3fHmwS/s1600/pro1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiA1Ljtbzi_9KCRxI0kQABgbvuNRjTEtgp9zHgUS03bgk-WqRlIHTpPbTbr3c6bvjtTg0jqB_XEWoaXCV8NtVqnXbsW3oQmbDpe0urDEFZHpl6B9Thkc0d83C79yPO1gjMeJC7t7n3fHmwS/s400/pro1.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Think of the companionship!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2m4bNJe_J_Q6JT019Nj-HhJhCFDewuTb9B1R1_CEKRYoW0xffqtd-ixVi__xrkO09tUh818Gv8AXiyY3fbWD-NytQjnohZPn3KBN4Ros-_zSwcJXgcXCHFDIyZymQqayx6GTJVJ9T7XO3/s1600/con1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="310" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2m4bNJe_J_Q6JT019Nj-HhJhCFDewuTb9B1R1_CEKRYoW0xffqtd-ixVi__xrkO09tUh818Gv8AXiyY3fbWD-NytQjnohZPn3KBN4Ros-_zSwcJXgcXCHFDIyZymQqayx6GTJVJ9T7XO3/s400/con1.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">All up in your business.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5l2WZAD861Rn54ggjneJiecZ-U2icTnN23JFaBawTxyC4I9IqSVKoVDOxdz_YFvR_wtAWCutBqDFHIzJ3udFvfaWEj2jXlmhJ86R58HApTnHII0RI167LK_VxBJl_BU6dKHTQCOFXdcy4/s1600/pro2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="287" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5l2WZAD861Rn54ggjneJiecZ-U2icTnN23JFaBawTxyC4I9IqSVKoVDOxdz_YFvR_wtAWCutBqDFHIzJ3udFvfaWEj2jXlmhJ86R58HApTnHII0RI167LK_VxBJl_BU6dKHTQCOFXdcy4/s400/pro2.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sharing is fun!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXlnu_xjB3Y0ii89ZoxstoA-_ZZ7nqmVbu24rLghMf9YDo9WCR9ompgb8SF0u7EMKPzfE9y8-fi_i_Z3pfjps28PJ5EvP_tIKlh4q1UO5nHa-Yj0wlI5ThXwTP9apSqmcgnH6YuAuAxbyj/s1600/con2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="287" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXlnu_xjB3Y0ii89ZoxstoA-_ZZ7nqmVbu24rLghMf9YDo9WCR9ompgb8SF0u7EMKPzfE9y8-fi_i_Z3pfjps28PJ5EvP_tIKlh4q1UO5nHa-Yj0wlI5ThXwTP9apSqmcgnH6YuAuAxbyj/s400/con2.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I HATE SHARING.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFm_eqdB-cEn0zk9UA9i5ayiNEVpcyw0tJWshzGeYOdj1x2aMIWtXFM6bO9LWuVTBw1Lofs6d4ntl7Uab_BrY2L1dey1q_T3zjZnZqHl7GSkaeL0adt7GDP8F3NqPgjMmpTp3h-KpBrjle/s1600/pro3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="317" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFm_eqdB-cEn0zk9UA9i5ayiNEVpcyw0tJWshzGeYOdj1x2aMIWtXFM6bO9LWuVTBw1Lofs6d4ntl7Uab_BrY2L1dey1q_T3zjZnZqHl7GSkaeL0adt7GDP8F3NqPgjMmpTp3h-KpBrjle/s400/pro3.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"We pay things on time, like grown ups!"</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHa89G5QEk7SrHugAzxTD71MpvzXDpM_kEUeslgA7_0n0dgOQcPicLmEra4fomFroS9cBGEMckYCGTPRa9jy5XxCz6_TdlKbjuG7eenVT4vJNrKvmBqcFidIxgMnDKabeVP9R6oYDdEf9r/s1600/con3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="301" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHa89G5QEk7SrHugAzxTD71MpvzXDpM_kEUeslgA7_0n0dgOQcPicLmEra4fomFroS9cBGEMckYCGTPRa9jy5XxCz6_TdlKbjuG7eenVT4vJNrKvmBqcFidIxgMnDKabeVP9R6oYDdEf9r/s400/con3.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The other laptop is looking at Batman. That's why it can't be switched off.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQ_g6m_VMdqvm0s6abR63ObLSRKLDZm8-31tvDEm78vegW1wT-G52BpDpsPkdjNIDnkMKlHGwQAXq9IsKmvWDaSyUXiQYTIWGmQHAny1b-C6uGHVK9AEVY4HI_VR8zv0H3b9if3-K3Wogv/s1600/pro4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="296" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQ_g6m_VMdqvm0s6abR63ObLSRKLDZm8-31tvDEm78vegW1wT-G52BpDpsPkdjNIDnkMKlHGwQAXq9IsKmvWDaSyUXiQYTIWGmQHAny1b-C6uGHVK9AEVY4HI_VR8zv0H3b9if3-K3Wogv/s400/pro4.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Whistle while you work!"</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijQhsWeSSn75IXfyR_wcNcLplxdZm94lcX8FbcxUuvE6vkJwfCsbs9uJKCcku7qIzLgwLzYGLfGNPbQwsSSzFBdTJRyoIVyekAWqWx_FRtNPClJP7Tiu0hiBY8nLjJKXpbIU-z1klDEB6P/s1600/con4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijQhsWeSSn75IXfyR_wcNcLplxdZm94lcX8FbcxUuvE6vkJwfCsbs9uJKCcku7qIzLgwLzYGLfGNPbQwsSSzFBdTJRyoIVyekAWqWx_FRtNPClJP7Tiu0hiBY8nLjJKXpbIU-z1klDEB6P/s400/con4.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Just put the dishes in the damn sink already!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9087764590265443167.post-63221158713580280982012-02-11T09:43:00.000-08:002012-02-11T09:43:30.709-08:00Growing Up<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When you're a child, you imagine that becoming an adult will become a parade of joy, wonder and freedom.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYDUPeG4w-hpYPdJxeYI6Adg4RPk6ZtOIo58ZrXPX2JhPkC25FbRfhQdVtBPT-rGTV-IH-clnYwZHzX_ABVNTa5KnnstI7AgrMO0pmuMxDwBKQOCrTGvCSarjxOGFYPdo_ic7J8Q910MI8/s1600/IMAGINATION.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="341" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYDUPeG4w-hpYPdJxeYI6Adg4RPk6ZtOIo58ZrXPX2JhPkC25FbRfhQdVtBPT-rGTV-IH-clnYwZHzX_ABVNTa5KnnstI7AgrMO0pmuMxDwBKQOCrTGvCSarjxOGFYPdo_ic7J8Q910MI8/s400/IMAGINATION.png" width="400" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">How you imagine adulthood to be.</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In fact, moments of joy and liberation are usually just islands in a sea of routine and paying the bills.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9x9fPCVsHYM9m6VQoq-5_3_dHDOJg6Uw0pHfwzWNVIh_Gwz2VCMgmCepNlF-dB7LkUuEZYaYukEvLBbKYsG1zVWoge2F2kcglqtATBotdXzgWNmu9v-7TrDpkh0iq6muZGSbuVgaND1sE/s1600/REALITY.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="315" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9x9fPCVsHYM9m6VQoq-5_3_dHDOJg6Uw0pHfwzWNVIh_Gwz2VCMgmCepNlF-dB7LkUuEZYaYukEvLBbKYsG1zVWoge2F2kcglqtATBotdXzgWNmu9v-7TrDpkh0iq6muZGSbuVgaND1sE/s400/REALITY.png" width="400" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">How adulthood ACTUALLY is.</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Essentially, becoming a grown up boils down to one essential truth:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">You can do <b>ANYTHING YOU WANT!!</b></span></div>
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">...But everything you say and do has consequences. You're aware of these consequences.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Adulthood is a balancing act between what you want to do and what consequences you can live with. Enjoy!</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9087764590265443167.post-87249919990127315842012-02-02T08:19:00.000-08:002012-02-02T08:19:59.054-08:00Guaranteed Weight Loss!<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The one diet tip that GUARANTEES you will lose weight and keep it off! Proven results!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Burn more calories than you consume.</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That's pretty much it. You might want to throw a little exercise into that regime; eat a varied diet; have plenty of fruit and vegetables.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Do I...do I ask you to pay me $29.99 per month now?</span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9087764590265443167.post-63450444579305445962011-12-22T09:27:00.000-08:002011-12-22T09:27:04.778-08:00Vegetarian Christmas<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As a veggie*, I've been served quite a wide variety of things as substitutes for Christmas dinner. If you're having veggie (or vegan) guests to dinner this year, why not follow my handy guide to a meat-free festive dining experience? Also includes the <b>best</b> gravy ever - developed with a friend of mine. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Let's cook!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">You will need:</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Equipment:</span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1 roasting tin, at least 2 inches** deep</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1 steamer with two tubs, or 2 medium pans</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1 baking tray</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1 medium frying pan</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1 large pan</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1 medium pan</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1 small pan</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Wooden spoon</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Spatula</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Food:</span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Potatoes - 2 medium or 1 large per person, or more depending on your portion preference</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Carrots - about 2 per person</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Parsnips - 2 per person</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Cabbage - 1 will serve 4-6</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Brussels sprouts - 4 or 5 per person</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yorkshire puddings - 2 per person. I think making the freaking dinner is enough without making these from scratch, so I buy frozen</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1 medium onion</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">2-3 cloves garlic</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Vegetarian stuffing mix</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.quorn.com/products/Streaky_Bacon_Style_Strips.aspx" target="_blank">Quorn streaky strips</a> - veggie version of bacon, known as facon (FAKE-un, rhymes with bacon) in my circle. You'll need about 1 strip per person</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Veggie redcurrant jelly</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Honey</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Veggie gravy granules</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.quorn.co.uk/products/Family_Roast.aspx" target="_blank">Quorn family roast</a> - 1 will serve about 4, depending on how many slices people want</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Red wine</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Vegetable oil</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Margarine (check this is vegan-friendly if you're cooking for a vegan!)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Salt</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Condiments</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>How do I know it's vegetarian/vegan?</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A quick note before we begin: a lot of people get confused about what is and is not vegan or vegetarian. A handy way to check - if it doesn't specifically say it's suitable for vegetarians or vegans on the packet, then it probably isn't. Don't risk it. I'm a stickler for only having veggie cheese*** and vegans in particular tend to be committed to only eating vegan-friendly products. Veggie/vegan wine can be bought from sites like <a href="http://www.veggiewines.co.uk/" target="_blank">Veggie Wines</a>; products like Quorn or own-brand vegetarian lines will state whether they are suitable for vegans as well as veggies; and it should say on the packet whether the food you're buying is vegan or veggie. Honey is never vegan - don't include this if you're cooking for a vegan. If in doubt, ask your veggie/vegan guest! Most of us have an encyclopaedic knowledge of what is and is not veggie/vegan friendly and we can always help you check.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Cooking:</span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Preparation is the key! It helps to have everything peeled, sliced and diced before you begin to cook. Peel the carrots, parsnips and potatoes. Cut the parsnips into strips; chop the carrots into rough circles; and chop the potatoes into quarters. Take the top couple leaves off the Brussels sprouts, wash them, cut off the stalk section and carve a little cross into the bottom with a sharp knife. Peel and finely chop the garlic; peel and roughly dice the onion. If cooking for two, save half the onion to use another day.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Put the potatoes into the medium pan, cover them with water, add a pinch of salt and boil them. While the potatoes are coming to the boil, set your oven to 220 degrees. Take the roasting tin and pour in the oil to a depth of about half an inch. If you're feeling generous, olive oil tastes great but vegetable or sunflower oil will do too. Carefully put the roasting tin of oil in the oven to heat.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">While the potatoes are boiling, put the carrots in the steamer or boil them in one of the medium pans. You want them soft, so they can be left on the boil for a while.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">After about 10-15 minutes, check the potatoes. You want them par-boiled, so you should be able to easily stick a fork in them no more than halfway before hitting resistance. When they're par-boiled, drain the water into a medium pan and use the fork to mess up the edges of the potatoes, so they look a bit fluffy. <b>Carefully</b> take the tray of hot oil out of the oven - I cannot stress this enough, the oil will be <b>hot</b> so you need to exercise a lot of caution. Put the potatoes into the oil - it will probably spit, so careful. Seriously. Put the roasting tin of potatoes in oil back in the oven on a middle shelf. Put the Quorn family roast on the baking tray and put that on the top shelf.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Leave for 5 minutes, then put the cabbage and Brussels sprouts into the top of the steamer, or boil them together in another medium pan. Steam/boil the cabbage and sprouts for 5-10 minutes, depending on how soft you want them.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Take the baking tray out of the over and put the parsnip slices on along with the roast. Drizzle honey over the parsnips. If you're cooking for a vegan, drizzle them some olive oil over them instead. Alternately, cut the parsnips into circles and boil them up with the carrots! If you are roasting the parsnips, pop them into the oven at this point.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Turn the potatoes in the oil - <b>carefully.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Heat up some oil in the frying pan. Cut the facon into rough squares. Take the sprouts and cabbage off the heat - drain them if you've boiled them, again saving the water - add it to the water you've already got from draining the potatoes. Separate the sprouts and put the cabbage somewhere to keep warm. Add the sprouts, facon and garlic to the frying pan. Keep the mixture moving as much as possible; cook on a medium flame until the facon and garlic being to brown and the sprouts start crisping up. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In the small pan, heat some more oil and fry up the chopped onion over a medium/high flame. Once the onion starts to brown, add it to the water you've saved from cooking the veg. Put the pan on a low to medium flame and heat. Drop in a tablespoon of redcurrant jelly, add a generous splash of red wine (about 1 pub measure for enough gravy for 2-4 people) and add the gravy granules - mix in a tablespoonful at a time until you get the desired thickness, then stir occasionally.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Mix the stuffing according to the packet - I follow the microwave option and it still tastes great! You'll need to cook the Yorkshire puddings about now, too; they generally take about 4 minutes to cook. You can pop them on the same tray as the veggie roast and parsnips.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Take the carrots out of the steamer/off the boil and put them in the pan you fried the onions in. Add a knob of margarine and mash them up. If you chose to boil the parsnips, you can mash them in with the carrots. Use a hand blender, masher or even a fork and smash 'em up until you're happy with the result. Add a small pinch of salt.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Turn off the oven, take the roast out and set it aside for a few minutes whilst you plate up everything else. Carve the roast last. All told, the roast takes 45-50 minutes to cook, the potatoes will need about 45 minutes in the oven, parsnips have 20 minutes in the oven, carrots take 20-30 minutes to boil soft, cabbage boiled for 5-10 minutes with the sprouts, then the sprouts should be fried for around 5-10 minutes, gravy takes 5 minutes, Yorkshires about 4 and stuffing usually 5 minutes standing, 2 minutes in the microwave.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Enjoy!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdPstSub-d3TH5OB1drJ8uIz3GcmsVkqVgZqShWWdHDHHDpvG2tQoCrg2AeDY-0xTL3Epu0FkoWY34KGYXr-5R-7PB97mUeaQkLoug1YMdCFXIfl4bQy2h_dbAC2RlyBpC9Il4dNsRTxEY/s1600/christmas.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="424" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdPstSub-d3TH5OB1drJ8uIz3GcmsVkqVgZqShWWdHDHHDpvG2tQoCrg2AeDY-0xTL3Epu0FkoWY34KGYXr-5R-7PB97mUeaQkLoug1YMdCFXIfl4bQy2h_dbAC2RlyBpC9Il4dNsRTxEY/s640/christmas.jpg" width="640" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My masterpiece.</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">*I'm actually <a href="http://vegetarian.about.com/od/glossary/g/Pescatarian.htm" target="_blank">pescetarian</a>, which means I eat fish, but as no one ever knows what that is until I launch into a lengthy explanation I tend to just say "veggie" for brevity's sake.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">**I don't often go metric.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">**You read right - a lot of cheese isn't vegetarian. It's hardened with <a href="http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-rennet.htm" target="_blank">rennet</a>, which is made from animal stomach. Parmesan cheese in particular is made from rennet and is literally <i>never vegetarian</i>, which has led to my on-going battle with restaurants that list Caesar salad as vegetarian - a dish covered in Parmesan cheese and featuring a sauce that includes anchovies, a fish. Sometimes I despair of people.</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9087764590265443167.post-22697123318531729752011-11-20T14:05:00.001-08:002011-12-08T07:40:59.391-08:00"We're working on plans for world domination. The key element? Coffee makers that think."<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As promised in my last <i>Buffy </i>post, this time around <a href="http://twitter.com/#!/flowri" target="_blank">Flowri </a>and I focused on one particular episode - season four's 'Restless'. Rather than go through the good, the bad and the ugly, we'll go through the details of the episode.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">'Restless' - First Aired 2000</span></b><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This episode goes straight into the titles then has some general end-of-season filler at the start, so there aren't any credits over the dream-scenes. The dreams begin with Willow, immediately after the break where the first ad would have been in its original television airing.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Both Flowri and I noted the greatness of the music in this episode - it really is stand-out fantastic, adding such a powerful extra dimension to the episode as a whole. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Willow:</b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Willow's dream opens with her writing in ink onto Tara's naked back. It's Greek and is from Sappho. I'm going to go ahead and presume you don't need me to elaborate on the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sappho" target="_blank">meaning of that</a>. They talk about their cat and how she doesn't have a name yet - naming and identity are issues that crop up multiple times in this episode. Willow says that the cat isn't grown, that she'll tell them her name in time - in other words, you need to mature to know who you really are. This is something Buffy tells Angel in season seven, that she's not finished becoming the woman she's going to be; the gang are still in college at this point and just beginning to establish their adult identities. Tara says that Willow doesn't "know everything about [her]", which we thought could be Willow's subconscious prompting her that Tara is hiding something. Neat season, we discover that Tara has believed herself to be part demon and this has lead her to interfere with some of the spells Willow has been trying, in an attempt to hide this from Willow. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Outside their room is a desert scene, with "something" out there - Willow sees this as a threatening landscape, something to worry about. The scene is very wild, echoes the savannah - it's the same landscape used in season seven, to show where the Slayer was first made and it's where Buffy goes in season five to find her spirit guide and connect with the First Slayer. That Willow is worried by this landscape is important, as we'll explain later.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Her dream moves on and Willow is trying to find her way to drama class. There's something very universal about this - who hasn't had a dream where they're late or lost? It's a pretty standard human anxiety. Willow runs into Xander and Oz in the halls of the college, which shows that Oz is still on her mind, in her thoughts. Oz says "I've been here forever"; him and their relationship has shaped Willow and will always be a part of her. Everyone keeps commenting that Willow is "in costume already"; as I touched on in my season four write up, Willow has been trying on a new identity in college, trying to put her dorky high school persona behind her. The nature of her dream clearly shows the depth of Willow's anxiety about this; she's trying to be cool but fears that people see it as an act, a costume, that beneath it all she's still the same. There's also the echo of 'Nightmares' in season one, in which Willow's worst nightmare is based on stage fright. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Riley is "Cowboy Guy", which reflects how Willow's subconscious sees him - he's a "corn-fed Iowa boy", an old-fashioned hero and good guy.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There's repeated reference to Willow hiding, lying, being "in character already" - she's not confident in herself and her new identity. She then moves to what we referred to as the "vagina corridor" - it's a long corridor of red curtains. I think that kind of speaks for itself.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Flowri wondered if Tara is a bit of a spirit guide for the gang in these dreams; she's seen as spiritual, ethereal; the subconscious interpretation of a goddess/voice of the gods. Willow asks "is there something after me?" and Tara warns her that there is. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Willow is also warned that the others will see her "real" self - Willow is afraid of being seen as a nerd, but is eventually exposed as an addict.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Willow is then attacked by the "something" that is hunting her and is rescued by Buffy. Buffy is very predatory here, stalking along. She leads Willow into one of their old high school classrooms and then tells Willow to "take [her] costume off"; Willow says that she "needs it" - she's reliant on the clothes to show the cool new college identity she's trying to portray. Later in the show it will be magic that Willow becomes dependent on; but for now, it's mostly the clothes that she's hiding behind. Buffy then rips the clothes off her - exposing Willow as we first met her in season one.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.daydreamnation.co.uk/buffy/willowrestless.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="http://www.daydreamnation.co.uk/buffy/willowrestless.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I have shared this fear.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Willow starts trying to read her book report, whilst Xander, Anya, Oz, Tara and Buffy look on and laugh at her. ANya says that "it's exactly like a Greek tragedy", which is a bit of an echo of season one, 'The Puppet Show', where Willow, Buffy and Xander act a scene from <i>Oedipus</i>. Tara and Oz are getting very flirty and close, revealing Willow's deeper insecurity - Oz left her for another woman, so perhaps Tara will cheat on her, too. Suddenly, she is attacked by the thing that has been stalking her - back in the reality of Buffy's living room, Willow starts choking for breath. We then cut to Xander's dream.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Xander:</b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Xander's dream begins with watching <i>Apocalypse Now</i>, except his dream version is slightly different from the real film - again, this is very real-world dreamy, where familiar things become changed. Xander is all about the soldier theme; it's something that crops up repeatedly through the show as a whole. Sex is also a bit of a theme through Xander's dream, which is hardly surprising - although saying to Joyce "I'd like you" is actually pretty sweet.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Xander leaves the others watching the dream-version-<i>Apocalypse-Now</i> and goes upstairs to use the bathroom. He runs into Joyce, Buffy's mum, upstairs - she's wearing a silky red nightgown and is very flirty. Joyce warns Xander "don't get lost" - like Willow, he's also struggling with his identity and who he is, not knowing which way to turn in life. There's a fantastic moment of Xander going to use the bathroom and then realising he's being watched by scientists - the bathroom-issue being another universal dream theme.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Whilst Willow's nightmare was stage fright and exposure, Xander's real fear is his own home life - his basement room is a dark, threatening place with something threatening rattling at the door at the top of the stairs. Xander looks up at the door and says "that's not the way out" - he subconsciously knows that the way for him to escape his basement existence is <i>not</i> by becoming his parents. Xander leaves his basement through the downstairs door and walks into the park.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Giles and Spike are there, on the swings. They're dressed identically, in the traditional Watcher-garb that Giles wore in season one. This both foreshadows the outfit Spike wears in 'Tabula Rasa', season six, whilst also showing that Xander still sees Giles as a Watcher, a stuffy Englishman. There's also a reference to a shark on land, which is done in 'Tabula Rasa'. Giles is now teaching Spike how to be a Watcher; Xander says that he "used to be into that", as in he used to see Giles as a role model, but now he has his "own stuff going on" - he's trying to be his own man, but he doesn't really know <i>how</i> to be a man as he doesn't have the strongest examples - there's his father, Giles and Spike. Spike is a total juvenile, shown by his childlike-role with Giles in this scene; Xander's father is "not the way out"; and he's trying to move on from using Giles as his father-figure, getting his "own stuff".</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Xander then sees Buffy playing in a sandpit and there's a beautiful shot where the camera pivots and the scene changes from sandbox to wild desert savannah. Xander is afraid of Buffy playing in there - like Willow, he is scared by this scene, but Buffy is happy there. Xander sees Buffy primal wildness, her Slayer-ness; there's also a lovely moment where Buffy calls him "big brother", which we think is Xander's subconscious finally getting that Buffy will only ever see him as a friend, never as a boyfriend. It also echoes the role Xander will take on when Dawn arrives in season five.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Xander looks up from Buffy and sees himself, serving ice cream from a van. The perspective changes to this Xander, who gets in the front, where Anya is driving. She asks him "do you know where you're going" - Xander's theme is the fear of being directionless, a fear of the future and not knowing what to do with himself and how to grow up. Anya also says that she's thinking of getting back into vengeance, which she will in season six. This, of course, is Xander's subconscious at work and we thought it showed that he still sees her as a demon and worries about her turning on him. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We then get an hilarious snap-shot of Willow and Tara dressed sexy, inviting Xander to come in the back of the van with them.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://images2.fanpop.com/images/photos/4000000/Restless-willow-and-tara-4084605-1280-800.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="250" src="http://images2.fanpop.com/images/photos/4000000/Restless-willow-and-tara-4084605-1280-800.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">One for the fellas. And ladies.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">They begin to make out and the camera focuses on Xander's reaction, which manages to turn it from gratuitous to hilarious. Xander tries to go and join them, but on the way to the back the van changes to a tunnel he has to crawl through and then ends up back in his basement - he can never get where he's trying to go. There's also something very subtle: as Xander is crawling, on the wall behind him yo can see the word "sheep". For those of you not as scarily observant as me, this is twofold: one is obvious, Xander feels that he's just a sheep, a follower, not setting his own path but just blithely following the others; second is much less obvious. In 'Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered' in season two, we see Xander's bedroom and the word "sheep" (same colour, same font) on his walls. There's the sense from this that Xander is stuck in his teenage identity, not moving on.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Trying again to escape from his basement, Xander finds himself on the college campus. His version of this is a very scary place; the colours are warped and threatening and it is <i>literally</i> foreign, with Giles and Anya beginning to speak French. Xander can't understand them; they start to pull him along and some commandos join in to help, carrying Xander between them into a scene from <i>Apocalypse Now</i>, where he finds Principal Snyder in the Brando role. Snyder asks him where he's from and Xander says "the basement, mostly" - try as he might, he can't get away from this. Snyder says he's "shepherded", reinforcing Xander's sense of being a sheep. He doesn't know where he's really heading and, in the dream at least, he's just following his sex urges, "trying to get away".</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">All roads lead Xander back to the basement and this time the door bursts open, to reveal that it's his father that has been such a scary threat, banging on the door. Xander looks so whipped here, dropping his eyes, clearly intimidated. Suddenly he, too, is attacked by the thing from Willow's dream - Xander has his heart ripped out. Cut to Giles.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Giles:</b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Giles' dream begins with him and Buffy in Giles' empty apartment - he has no possessions, Buffy is the focus of his life. He's dressed in his tweed Watcher suit and tells her that "his is how men and women have behaved since the beginning", which hints at the origins of the Slayer we will learn more about in season seven. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Then Giles and a pregnant Olivia are at the fair, taking a very childish Buffy on an outing. Olivia is pushing an empty pram. It's night and the fair is all vampire-themed. Giles is in a very fatherly role here, much more as he was during season three (and as he will be in season five), acting as Buffy's mentor and teacher but also in a very paternal way that is totally endearing. There's a brief cut of Giles getting Buffy to focus on his watch, echoing events of 'Helpless', season three. Giles says that this is his "business"; it's a job, a role that has taken him over, a family he did not choose. Giles also refers to the "sacrificial lamb" which foreshadows the finale of season five. We see a flash of Buffy with her face covered in clay; Giles says "I know you".</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The group enter Spike's crypt; we see Olivia crying over the pram, which was fallen over - this is the life Giles <i>could</i> have had, with a wife and family; the life he gave up to devote himself to being a Watcher. Giles looks at her, but is distracted by Spike - vampires, demons and his duties as a Watcher always tear him away from trying to have a life and family of his own. Spike meanwhile is posing for a group of photographers; we wondered if this meant Spike was just a joke to Giles now, a harmless caricature of his old self. Giles asks what he's supposed to do with all this and Spike tells him to "make up his mind"; he needs to choose what life he wants. Tellingly, Giles walks away from Olivia and we don't see her again.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Giles walks into the Bronze, where Xander and Willow are waiting, injured from the attacks in their dream. Here Giles is dressed in casual clothing and the group call him "Rupert" - this is how Giles sees himself. Willow tells Giles that some primal, animal force is after them - these are Giles' words in their mouths, different facets of his subconscious. Even in a dream, Giles is able to figure out what's stalking them. He takes to the stage and begins singing his words, which foreshadows 'Once More, With Feeling'. Giles begins to literally follow the leads as he works it out, going backstage and finding his watch in the tangle. The watch is both a motif of Giles as Watcher and the tool he used with Buffy. The primal thing finds him and Giles says "you never had a Watcher" before she slices open his head.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Buffy:</b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Buffy is in her bed in college, with Anya whispering at her to wake up - Buffy subconscious is trying to prompt her to wake up. Buffy looks up to find the primal thing over her bed; she jerks awake and is in her bed at home. Then she's in the doorway looking at her unmade bed. "Faith and I just made that", she says, referring to her dream at the end of season three and revealing that Faith is still on her mind. This is also a reference to Dawn, who will appear in the next season; the bed has been made ready for her arrival. Tara is with Buffy in the dream and tells Buffy she needs to find the others. The clock reads 7.30 but Tara tells her it's "completely wrong" - in the dream during 'Graduation Day part 2', Faith says "counting down from seven three oh", which was a reference to the number of days left before Buffy's death (in two years. at the end of season five). As a whole year in Buffy-time has passed since then, the 7.30 is now "wrong" and it's only 365 days to go.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Tara offers Buffy the Tarot card she used during the spell to link her with Giles, Willow and Xander - Manus, the hand. Buffy refuses it; she doesn't want to be just physical, just a weapon. Tara tells her "You think you know; what you are, what's to come. You haven't event begun." Dracula will say these exact lines in the first episode of season five. Buffy says she has to find her friends and goes to leave; Tara warns her to "be back before d(D)awn", which is pretty obvious in retrospect. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Buffy goes looking for her friends and can't catch up with them; her fear is her struggle with her identity and the Slayer part of herself, her fear that the better a Slayer she is, the less human she'll be and thus less of a friend. Buffy sees her mother, Joyce, living inside the walls of the college with "mice playing with [her] knees" - we suspected this could be a hint at Joyce's death during the next season. Buffy follows Xander up the stairs and finds herself in a very Initiative room, where Riley is sat with a totally-human Adam, a gun on the table between them. Riley calls her "killer" - this is a common theme with the show, Buffy's emphasis that a Slayer is <i>not</i> a killer. Adam says "Aggression is a natural human tendency. Though you and I come by it another way". Buffy insists she's not a demon and Adam challenges her - her own subconscious has suspicions about the origins of her power. Buffy asks Adam what his name was - again, the importance of naming and identity. He can't remember; Adam cannot remember his pre-demon identity, his true name, and has thus lost his humanity. Riley tells Buffy she's "on [her] own", echoing her fears.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Alarms begin to sound. Buffy tries to shout that she has weapons, but can only whisper - a common dream element. The bag is very similar to the Slayer bag that Principal Wood gives Buffy in season seven, the bag that belonged to his mother, a Slayer. The bag here is full of clay and Buffy begins to wipe it over her face. Her true weapon is to give in to the primal element of herself - we see a polarised shot of Buffy, which Giles also saw - the Slayer element is the polar opposite of her personality. Buffy walks down the corridor, which changes to the desert. She says she "won't find her friends here" and Tara appears, telling her "Of course you won't. That's why you came". Buffy's friends won't be here because this is the place they're scared of - in their dreams, the desert was a frightening thing. This is where the primal force lives and Buffy is at home here, while they were scared - which means that they fear a part of Buffy herself and she subconsciously knows it, which is why she knows she will end up alone.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUbPm3jq9xkbG-JK3hYPR3y4uq6C0erhDBqpgre7uch-kH1-9j-plJb2BLdHyEPMcwptCJb96HwL0YAOxY8EA_aaADbyBxO3c7APx9XEkqIc6UMCv4ZuzY6Ourwb9PYOC3t6j7YOpIQtI/s400/buffy422_556.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="223" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUbPm3jq9xkbG-JK3hYPR3y4uq6C0erhDBqpgre7uch-kH1-9j-plJb2BLdHyEPMcwptCJb96HwL0YAOxY8EA_aaADbyBxO3c7APx9XEkqIc6UMCv4ZuzY6Ourwb9PYOC3t6j7YOpIQtI/s400/buffy422_556.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Totally not a desert outside L.A.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Tara is speaking here for the primal thing that has hurt the others in their dreams; Buffy wants her to speak for herself. The creature, a girl with white clay on her face and wearing rags, speaks through Tara and says she has "no name" - she has no other identity, she lives "in the action of death" and is "alone". At this point, Buffy recognises what she is - the First Slayer. Buffy says "I walk. I talk. I shop. I sneeze" - she has an identity beyond being the Slayer, she has modernity and tries to balance having friends and living in "the action of death". They start to fight; Buffy stands up and tells her it's "over". The First Slayer tackles her again but Buffy yells "Enough!" and wakes up on her living room floor. The First Slayer then re-appears, stabbing her arms - but Buffy ignores her and stands up, giving her sassy tips on hair care before waking up for real. Buffy refuses to be drawn into battle and can break out of it where the others can't, largely because she isn't afraid of something that is so closely part of her. Buffy insists "you're not the source of </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">me" - </i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and she's right. The First Slayer may be the source of the power Buffy weilds, but Buffy knows her name, her identity, and balances that power within herself.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The final shot is of the made bed, with Tara's words echoing in Buffy's head: "You think you know; what you are, what's to come. You haven't even begun."</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9087764590265443167.post-19646085531746214712011-11-07T13:58:00.000-08:002011-11-07T13:58:38.848-08:00The BCCare Ball ; or, What I've Learned from Organising a Charity Fundraiser<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I’m lucky enough to have some pretty inspirational friends –
one of whom is battling breast cancer. For the second time. And she’s only
thirty. Talking to her and hearing about all the support she’s had from <a href="http://www.breastcancercare.org.uk/" target="_blank">Breast Cancer Care</a> made me really want to do my part to raise money for this fantastic charity. I
asked <a href="http://pjmontgomery.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">a friend</a> with experience of fundraising for some advice and thought to
myself, “Throwing a charity gig – how hard can that be?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The answer is, <i>very
hard</i>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The support I’ve got from friends and family has been really
heart-warming, but the going has been tough and there have been a lot of
set-backs. I’ve learned some great lessons from my experience, though, so if
you’re thinking of raising money for charity yourself I’ve got some great tips
for you. Before I get to that, though, a plug for my event!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The BCCare Ball is on Friday 18<sup>th</sup> November,
upstairs in O’Neills, St Mary Street, Cardiff. Doors open 7pm, tickets are £10
and that includes the buffet, raffle entry, a set from DJ Tom Loud and a live
music from <a href="http://www.thebigwhatband.com/" target="_blank">The Big What?! Band</a>. Everyone over 18 is
welcome to attend! To get tickets just <a href="mailto:charityballcardiff@hotmail.co.uk" target="_blank">email me</a> - if you can't attend, you can still donate via <a href="http://www.justgiving.com/CharityBallCardiff" target="_blank">Just Giving</a>. Dress code is smart, with something pink!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Plug done, I’ll get back to tips for hosting a fundraising
of your own. Organising my Ball has been a challenge. The best piece of advice
I got was, no matter how much time you think you’ll need to organise a charity
event, give yourself more time. Putting together your own event takes a lot of
work, a lot of organisation and a lot of planning. If you’re thinking of raising money for
charity here are the lessons I’ve learned.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Firstly, pick a charity that’s close to your heart. The more
you believe in the charity the more work you’ll be willing to put in to raise
money for their cause and the easier you’ll find it to convince people to
donate their money and time as well. If you’re really behind a charity then
you’ll be totally committed to raising money for them. Organising an event of
your own is a real challenge and you will need to keep reminding yourself how
much it means to the people your charity helps, in order to keep pushing on and
stay dedicated to putting on the best event you can. Make sure you register
with your chosen charity, too! Go to their website, give them a call and
register yourself and your event. The charity can then send you letters of
authenticity to show people that your event is legitimate, which will reassure
people that any money or gifts they’re giving you will go to the charity.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Secondly, pick the right way to raise money. Ask your
family, ask your friends, start a Facebook poll, post questions on forums – you
may think that a banjo gig is the best thing ever, but if no one else agrees
with you then you won’t get anyone turning up to your event and you won’t get
many donations. Pick something that you want to do, something that you are
happy to put effort into throwing, but make sure that it’s also something other
people are interested in, too. Pick your timing as well; if there’s another big
event on in the same town on the same day, chances are that your fundraiser
will lose out to it. Ask your friends when they’ve got a free night, check that
you’re not trying to host a party on Christmas Eve or something and go from
there. Remember, too, that big seasonal events can be an advantage – maybe try
holding a romantic dinner on Valentine’s Day, or a bake-off on Pancake Day.
Just make sure that you think about the time of year and the type of event you
want to organise and get the two to match up as best you can.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Thirdly, be prepared for rejection. Asking for donations,
asking for venues to let you use their space for free, asking for raffle prize
donations – you will come up against a lot of people saying “no”. Get used to
it. Try not to take it personally, either; it’s not a rejection of you, or the
charity you’re representing. Companies get asked a <i>lot </i>for donations, they can’t say “yes” to all the requests. You’ll
have to put in a lot of leg work and make a lot of phone calls. Try calling the
head offices and getting in touch with local branches of larger companies. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Fourthly, don’t be afraid to ask for favours. Ask your
friends, ask your family, and ask them to ask <i>their</i> friends and family. Know someone in a band? Ask them if they
could play a set. Know someone with a talent for art or design? Ask them if
they can do a poster or flyer for you. Ask local shops if they can put up your poster;
ask people if they can donate their time, a raffle prize, their talent or their
money to your cause. After a lot of work getting in touch with different venues
in Cardiff, O’Neills were kind enough to offer their upstairs room for free.
After much pleading, the band offered do to their set for free because they are
lovely people who want to help raise money for this great cause; and as I work
with a guy who is also a DJ, I managed to pull a favour there and he’s offered
to spin the decks gratis. Swallow your pride and pull every favour you can. I got the lovely <a href="http://anastasiacatris.wordpress.com/" target="_blank">Ana Catris</a> to do a poster for me!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://a3.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/377020_10150922610535112_604730111_21502346_1553707176_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://a3.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/377020_10150922610535112_604730111_21502346_1553707176_n.jpg" width="464" /></span></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><o:p> </o:p>Lastly, don’t forget the power of the Net! Create a Facebook
page for your event, set up a <a href="http://www.justgiving.com/" target="_blank">Just Giving</a> page so people know they
can donate securely to your cause, set up a Twitter account for your event or
get a hash tag going so people can tweet about your event and link to it
easily. Ask for retweets, share your Facebook page and Just Giving link, go to
websites like <a href="http://www.woic.co.uk/" target="_blank">What’s On In Cardiff</a> and get your event listed – make sure that
your event is out there and that as many people as possible know about it. Tell
your friends and family and get them to tell everyone they know, too; word of
mouth can really boost your event! Make sure you get all the support you can
from the charity you’re fundraising for – after all, they want to help you make
as much money as possible so they’ll be happy to help in any way they can.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It will be an uphill struggle, no mistake. You might not
sell as many tickets as you hoped, you might not be able to raise as much money
as you wanted, you might not be able to get as many raffle prizes as you thought.
It will definitely be challenging – so why do it? Well, aside from helping a charity
in these incredibly tough financial times, there’s a lot you can get out of it,
too. It will really move you, how many people are willing to donate their time
and their skills to help you; how many people are willing to chip in, to give
you money and to help out in any way they can. Organising an event for charity
can also help you, too. In today’s world it’s tougher than ever to get a job
and throwing a fundraising event shows that you have determination, creativity,
perseverance, organisational skills and shows off your social awareness. All of
these are the kind of skills that can really make your CV stand out from the
crowd and it’s the kind of experience that you can draw on in the workplace.
Once you’ve persuaded the manager of a busy pub to let you use their venue for
free, facing negotiations in the workplace won’t seem so scary.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So my final advice, if you’re thinking of raising money for
charity? Do it. Be prepared for a struggle, but if it’s a charity that really
means something to you then you know how important it is that they have enough
money to keep up their good work.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To buy tickets for my event go to
<a href="http://www.justgiving.com/CharityBallCardiff">www.justgiving.com/CharityBallCardiff</a> - hash tag #CharityBall on Twitter.</span><o:p></o:p></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0Cardiff, UK51.4813069 -3.180497951.4021979 -3.3384264000000003 51.5604159 -3.0225694tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9087764590265443167.post-90132302681388090592011-10-30T09:51:00.000-07:002011-10-30T09:51:50.032-07:00"'Hey everybody, it's Giles! With a chainsaw!'"<span style="font-family: arial;">From the highs of season three, to the lows of season four. I won't lie to you guys, four is my least favourite season of <i>Buffy</i>. It has some fantastic episodes, but the weakest overall arc. Let's crack on with with whys and wherefores of the good, bad and ugly of season four...<br /><br /><span style="font-size: 0px;"></span></span><span style="font-family: arial;"><b>SEASON FOUR: Originally Aired 1999-2000<br /><br />The Good:</b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">The only really good thing about this season is a few stand-out episodes. There are other strong elements - I like that we see alternatives to going to college, that there are no judgements about what the characters are choosing to do with their lives. It feels very real, that Xander is trying to find a job he likes and establish his own post-high-school identity; that Buffy initially struggles to fit in with the world of college whilst Willow was made for it; the way the group dynamic wobbles and suffers whilst the Scoobies adjust to these major life changes. It's something the viewers can identify with and it's handled well.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">This season also shows Willow's growing fixation on magic and hints at elements of her personality that will make this a problem. After Oz leaves, Willow runs into someone from high school and all her old insecurities come flooding back.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"> She had been leaning on the "I have a boyfriend in a band" thing to grant her a cache of coolness. Without that, Willow is left feeling vulnerable, like the same, dorky Willow saw was when we first met her. She wants to be seen as cool, powerful, different - a need that is probably exacerbated by her friendship with the Slayer. In 'Fear, Itself' Willow says to Buffy, "I'm not your side-kick" - but of course she is. Living in the Slayer's shadow can't be easy: it's something that Xander will discuss with Dawn in season seven, but in the continuity of the show this is something that Willow is just beginning to struggle with. She wants to become her own person, to start developing her adult identity. That, after all, is one of the things that college or university is about, establishing yourself as your own person, exploring yourself, trying out new things and finding out who you are. Willow starts strong: she's great in class and this is an environment where intelligence and hard work is rewarded rather than mocked and she has Oz to give her a bit of the cool factor. Once Oz leaves, however, Willow's new identity begins to crumble, just as Buffy is finding her feet in the world of college. Willow is obviously very insecure about this and feels that magic helps with that. Willow begins to use magic as a crutch: her new identity is "kick-ass powerful witch" and this increasing reliance will store up problems for the future, which come to a head in season six. I'll be discussing the problems with where it ends up in my season six review, but for now it's nicely handled and very subtle. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">To talk specifically about strong episodes, we have 'The Harsh Light of Day', 'Fear, Itself', 'Wild At Heart', 'Something Blue', 'Hush', 'A New Man', 'This Year's Girl', 'Who Are You', 'Superstar' and 'Restless'. Now, 'Restless' is so great and so complex that I am going to go ahead and give it a blog entry of its very own, so watch this space. As for the others, most of them are just great comedy episodes. 'The Harsh Light of Day' is both good and bad: most of what I enjoy about it is the return of Spike, but the episode suffers for just dealing literally with what season two dealt with figuratively, that being a man changing after sleeping with Buffy. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">'Fear, Itself' is much stronger: not only is it flat-out hilarious, but it deals with some great issues. There's the friction between Willow and Buffy that I've already mentioned; Xander's struggling to come to terms with the changes in their lives and how he feels left behind and left out since the others went to college; also Oz's fears about being a werewolf, something that hasn't much been touched on in the rest of the show. This will be important later.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;"> </span>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://media.screened.com/uploads/0/7932/528482-katseluikkuna_47.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="Also there's Giles with a chainsaw" border="0" height="220" src="http://media.screened.com/uploads/0/7932/528482-katseluikkuna_47.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Also, there's Giles. With a chainsaw.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">'Wild At Heart' continues dealing with the werewolf thing. It was hinted at during season three's 'Beauty And The Beasts', in which Oz is for a time suspected of killing a person, but it's always been largely swept under the carpet. In 'Wild At Heart' we get to see Oz's animal attraction to a female werewolf and the consequences of giving in to the animal id that the wolf side represents. </span><br />
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">'Something Blue' and 'A New Man' are, again, mostly comic relief, but 'Hush' is just stand out <i>magnificent</i>. It's the only <i>Buffy</i> episode to be nominated for an award and why it did not get the Emmy is beyond me. For a start, the villains of the piece are <i>genuinely terrifying.</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult/buffy/gallery/season4/images/340/17hush.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="255" src="http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult/buffy/gallery/season4/images/340/17hush.jpg" width="340" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Serious nightmare material.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Everything about the episode is just excellent: there are moments of laugh-out-loud comedy (Giles' projector presentation being a highlight) balanced by horror, all with the most perfect musical score. It's a brilliant exploration of just how much we can say through body language and <a href="http://twitter.com/#!/flowri">Lowri</a> and I are fond of discussing just how much is said in this episode, without speaking a word. Willow finds out that Tara is a witch, whilst an attraction develops between them; Riley finds out that Buffy is more than human and Buffy discovers that Riley is part of the Initiative; and Anya realises that Xander does truly care for her. Everyone is listening to each other and it makes a great counter-balance to 'Once More, With Feeling' in season six, during which everyone is baring their hearts through song but no one actually pays attention to anyone else. We'll come back to that episode in a later post. </span><br />
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Back to season four, there's the great two-part 'This Year's Girl' and 'Who Are You'. I'm sure you know by now <a href="http://winskillfull-explains.blogspot.com/2011/09/your-logic-does-not-resemble-our-earth.html">how much I love Faith</a> so to see her back in the series is a joy. It's also a very strong two-parter: the video message the Mayor left for Faith is genuinely poignant, whilst the body-swap twist is a great take on an old theme. Sarah Michelle Gellar acts her socks off here: seeing Faith-as-Buffy is very, very creepy and allows for some great insight into Faith's self-loathing and her desire to <i>be</i> Buffy whilst also wanting to defeat Buffy. Eliza Dushku does a solid Buffy impression, too. </span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Finally, 'Superstar' - great because it is absolutely hysterical viewing and also because it manages to drive the plot forward in some vital ways. It's through Jonathan that we learn of Adam's only potential weak spot; and through Jonathan that Buffy and Riley managing to move past Riley's mis-step of sleeping with Faith-as-Buffy. It makes for some awesome television.</span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>The Bad:</b></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The most outstanding badness of this season is the Initiative and the whole damned season four story arc. Up until know, the show's internal logic has made sense: the Hellmouth has been allowed to flourish and get so many demonic problems because the Mayor wanted it that way and was using his power and influence to cover up the weird goings-on in Sunnydale. The rest of the world had few enough problems with demons and vampires that one Slayer at a time, supported by the work of the Council and the Watchers, was enough to prevent the world sliding into darkness. By suddenly saying that the US government <i>know</i> about demons and vampires, it undermines the logic of the show. If the police and the army know, why is there a need for a Slayer at all? The show struggles with depicting guns and weapons: you just can't have a show aimed at teenagers that is saying guns are great. I get that. However, why hunt vamps with a <i>wooden stick</i> when you could go out hunting with a flame-thrower? If the government know about the supernatural then they'd have the police out fighting the forces of darkness - with serious weaponry. Nest of vamps? No problem, drop a grenade. Hellmouth opening? No problem, drop <i>lots</i> of grenades. Yet that doesn't happen in the show: the Initiative go out patrolling with freaking tasers and nets, with the poor rationalisation that this is an experimental team trying to capture and experiment on demons.</span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Having the government as the bad guys is very old hat, too, and there's nothing fresh about this take on it. <i>Men In Black</i> handled it way better. Mixing in a bit of Frankenstein's monster just raises more glaring flaws - like how has Adam been created and built by just two scientists, without anyone else in the base finding out? In 'A New Man', Ethan Rayne tells Giles that demons have been talking, mentioning a "314" and being scared. If the Initiative aren't letting their captives go, how do any other demons know what's going on? And how do the demons, who have either never been to the base or only been there as captives in cages, know about room 314 whilst Riley, who works there, doesn't notice it until Buffy asks him about it? Oh and speaking of the base, why have it <i>under the college</i>? Why not at the pre-existing army base? Or another, totally separate, location? Why spend a <i>fortune</i> making something covert and creating a fake college dorm, getting your soldiers in as fake students, when you could just have a base that was restricted access? It's stupid.</span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There's also Spike. Now, I <i>love</i> Spike - but it's total fan service having him in this series. Joss loved writing the character, James Marsters loved playing the character and the fans loved watching the character, so they found a way to wedge him in as a regular. And much as I want it to, it just does not work. Watching this season with Boyfriend really brought home just how badly it's done; Boyfriend was slating Spike's role in this season and I was trying to defend it...but couldn't. Putting a chip in Spike's head is ridiculous, I won't lie to you. For a start: how did the Initiative sneak up on him in the first place? Spike is over a hundred years old; a hundred years of being a vampire, a predator, a hunter - and a group of soldiers can surprise him? It totally demeans the character. As does him turning to the Scooby Gang for help after his escape - <i>why does he do that</i>? And why would they help him?! I get that Buffy wouldn't stake him, because killing someone who is now helpless isn't something she would do - but why would they take him in? Why would they get blood for him? Why can't he figure out how to buy blood from the butchers himself?! </span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">How much Spike can and can't hurt people also varies wildly: during his escape from the Initiative base, Spike his able to punch people and throw them around; later in the series, he can't event <i>think</i> of hurting people without his chip going off. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">On which note: how is the chip meant to work in the first place? How does it distinguish between demon and human? How does it know when Spike is intending violence? And as the brain lacks nerves, how does it even cause him pain? The whole concept is just stupid and, much as I love having Spike's sarcasm and sneering contempt as a regular feature of the show, it doesn't work. Boyfriend says he lost all respect for the character and he's not wrong to do so.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Also, in 'The Harsh Light of Day', why the big bad bloody hell does Spike tell Buffy what the Gem of Amarra is and thereby reveal how he can be defeated?! Idiot.</span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There are also some fundamental problems with Faith's reappearance. She's been in a coma since graduation day - yet when she awakens she has no problems with muscle wastage, no brain damage, nothing. She can just get right up and start throwing punches. Now I get that within the time constraints of the show it would be difficult to realistically depict recovery from a coma, but even allowing for Slayer healing, having zero negative consequences is a bridge too far.</span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://a4.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/62725_10150099434294012_768744011_7338983_436653_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="226" src="http://a4.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/62725_10150099434294012_768744011_7338983_436653_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Not your average recovery time.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There are also some terrible episodes to balance out the good ones. I'll talk more about the worst of the bunch, but d</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">ishonourable mention goes to 'Pangs', thanks to the whole Native American Indian angle. Clearly the show doesn't know whether to just cold have Indians as the bad guys, or whether to make them sympathetic. The script dithers over this and the plot of this already weak episode suffers further for it. Also, Xander gets syphilis - </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">syphilis</i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> - and "all the diseases" that European settlers brought to the Native Indians, which must surely include small pox, yet instead of causing an epidemic this is apparently meant to be high comedy that just sort of goes away.</span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Giles gets a tough ride in this season, too. He's unemployed and totally lacking in direction and it does demean him. It's as though the writers had no idea what to do with the character this season. It does lead to some great lines like, "She called me an absent male role model" ('A New Man') but overall it just doesn't work.</span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Boyfriend also criticises 'Superstar' for having Buffy be feeble and ineffective when Jonathan is awesome - but considering this is the result of a magic spell which means Jonathan starred in <i>The Matrix</i>, I'm willing to let it slide. Boyfriend's right, though; there's no reason why Jonathan being super-awesome would mean no one would take Buffy seriously.</span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>The Ugly:</b></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Watch out, kids! There's something on campus worse than vampires - the horror of that demon <i>drink</i>! In 'Beer Bad' we see the terrible, terrible consequences of that most awful of sins - </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">drinking beer.</i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Buffy and a bunch of frat boys turn into Neanderthals thanks to some cursed beer or something. It's bullshit and insulting to the audience - I understand that you don't want to show the characters regularly necking vodka with no ill effects, because younger viewers could get the wrong idea from that. But to go with a preachy episode like 'Beer Bad' is ridiculous, especially considering that in the very next season the characters are all drinking and it's </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">fine</i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">. Then we have the travesty that is 'Where The Wild Things Are', which shows the </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">total horror</i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> of enjoying sex with your consenting partner. It seems like the episode wants to explore, through analogy, how people can lose themselves in a new relationship and allow that initial lust and sexual desire to block out everything else in your life - but it just comes across as stupid. It's pretty much the only episode of </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Buffy</i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> I feel embarrassed to watch.</span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">For me, though, the most awful thing about this season is the way the Scoobies, including Giles, react to Oz leaving Willow. Willow goes through utter horror: her boyfriend cheats on her, finding another woman more sexually magnetic than Willow; the woman that Oz cheated with then tries to <i>kill</i> Willow, only for Oz to tear her throat out - and then Oz, having fully changed into a wolf, nearly kills Willow as well. And how do Willow's friends support her during this difficult time? They get angry with her.</span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yep, the same gang that has to listen to Buffy's endless whining about her doomed affair with Angel can't bear to listen to Willow's suffering. In 'Something Blue' we get another "drinking is evil!" moral diatribe because Willow is trying to have a few beers and dance at the Bronze to get over her pain; and throughout the episode, no one seems to have time for her. Yes, Willow is wallowing in her pain - but my <i>god</i> does she ever have a right to. Instead of consoling her, making time for her, or at least telling Willow "I hear your pain, let me just go patrolling then I'll come back and spend time with you", Buffy just wants her to shut up and get over it. Instead of the endless sympathy Buffy gets, we get the following exchange about Willow: </span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Xander: </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: x-small;">Something about Willow and her grief-y </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: x-small;">poor-me mood swings. So, so tired of
it.</span></div>
<div>
<br />
<br />
<center><div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: x-small;">ANYA: </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: x-small;">You mean I don't have to be nice to </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: x-small;">her anymore?</span></div>
</center>
<br />
<br />
<center><div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: x-small;">BUFFY: </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: x-small;">We're all tired of it [...]</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's awful. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There's also Sarah Michelle Gellar, who I'm putting into the "ugly" category because of her physique. She is starved thin and looks totally unhealthy.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td><a href="http://a4.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/62725_10150099434294012_768744011_7338983_436653_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="226" src="http://a4.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/62725_10150099434294012_768744011_7338983_436653_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px;">Also an horrifically clear example of slim vs anorexic.<br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I know that the producers of the show aren't exactly in control of how their actors look, but <i>damn. </i>The change is so profound and so noticeably awful that I felt it really needed a mention.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Overall I'd say this is more of a "bad" season than an "ugly" one, but that's the best I can say of it. Next time, an in depth analysis of 'Restless'!</span></div>
</center><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9087764590265443167.post-53957020290655329602011-09-24T06:14:00.000-07:002011-09-24T06:29:51.315-07:00The Ultimate Buffy Drinking Game<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As I'm nearly halfway through my Good, Bad and Ugly of <i>Buffy the Vampire Slayer</i>, thought I'd bring you this quick interlude from me, <a href="http://twitter.com/#!/flowri" target="new">Flowri</a> and <a href="http://www.pjmontgomery.blogspot.com/" target="new">PJ Montgomery</a>:
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<div align="center">
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The Ultimate Buffy Drinking Game!</span></b></div>
<div align="center">
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1. Credit Shot - down one shot of alcohol. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You know all the clips from episodes that feature in the opening credits of every episode? Any time you see the scene those clips are actually taken from, have a drink.
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">2. Every time you see a character's bra strap - take one shot if it's a female character, two for a male character<a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=9087764590265443167#one">*</a>.
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">3. Every time you see a vampire go game-face - have a drink.
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">4. Every time a vampire gets dusted - have a drink.
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">5. Every time a non-stake is used to dust a vampire - have a drink. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Pencils, table-legs, cymbals - anything and everything that is used to slay vamps, if you see it on-screen, you take a shot.
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">6. Every bad accent! </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Angel's bad fake-Irish, Kendra's awful...I want to say Jamiacan? Basically, if there's an actor on-screen trying (and failing) to deliver an accent not their own, take a drink. One shot per accent, don't try and drink for the whole time they're speaking. This is a <i>game</i>, not a kamikaze challenge.
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">7. Whedon crossover actors - one shot per show they've been in, first on-screen appearance only. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Felicia Day, Nathan Fillion...those actors who have appeared in Joss-written shows other than <i>Buffy</i>.
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">8. Every time non-English is spoken - one shot per language. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If a character is speaking a demon language, the flashback scenes where Anya/Aud is speaking (fake) Swedish...If it ain't English, take a drink.
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">9. Giles cleans his glasses - take a shot every time this happens.
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">10. The British are coming! </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Bit of an obscure way to explain it, but we just loved this line. What this means is, any time characters get away with swearing on-screen by using British slang ("wanker" and "bollocks" being popular choices) then you take a shot.
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And that's it! Designed for playing whilst watching several episodes in a row - we thought of including a rule where any time Buffy is dressed like a total slut, you take a drink, but then we realised we didn't want to drink ourselves into a coma after one episode. Enjoy!
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=9087764590265443167" name="one">*</a> Yep, you do see male characters wearing bras in certain episodes...</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9087764590265443167.post-24163079793704868532011-09-21T14:12:00.000-07:002011-09-22T10:32:49.914-07:00'Your logic does not resemble our Earth logic.'<span style="font-family: arial;">Welcome, one and all, to my love-letter to <i>Buffy the Vampire Slayer</i>, season three. It should come as no surprise to you by now that a lot of thought has gone into this post. Not only did <span style="font-size: 0px;"></span></span><a href="http://twitter.com/#!/flowri" target="new"><span style="font-family: arial;">Flowri</span></a><span style="font-family: arial;"> re-join me for this, but </span><a href="http://www.pjmontgomery.blogspot.com/" target="new"><span style="font-family: arial;">PJ Montgomery</span></a><span style="font-family: arial;"> was <s>told</s> invited to join us. Our triple-geek-powers have also been combined to bring you the Ultimate Buffy Drinking Game<a href="#one">*</a>, but that’s a story for another day. For now, let’s crack on with season three!<br /><br /><span style="font-size: 0px;"></span></span><span style="font-family: arial;"><b>SEASON THREE: Originally Aired 1998-99<br /><br />The Good:</b><br />This is probably the season that all three of us love best. It’s not perfect, but it <i>is</i> bloody fantastic. There’s an incredibly strong story-arc to it: we finally get to see the Mayor of Sunnydale, who has been built up as a villain for the past two years of the show; there are some stand-out <i>brilliant</i> episodes; future plot arcs are neatly hinted at, whilst past ones wrapped up; and then there’s Faith.</span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial;">Ah, Faith. So sexy even hetero females like Flowri and I would totally go gay for her. PJ had his own thoughts about Faith. <i>Private</i> thoughts. What he would divulge was that women with medieval weaponry are totally hot.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZ7wZS2OqyEfqBhyfSnF_EI26uD-ULtLwmr-kCEdAjw1ryz5Vu1_8X1fEVzBF9UEDtpi48AdqOrLVn_KIwA2FyfHJKAhJS7MZCRJ1ha5b8E57DrW1cxRhr7VOLruf2pvaogxDIKcNLbnK5/s1600/faith2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><img alt="This one is for PJ" border="0" height="240px" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZ7wZS2OqyEfqBhyfSnF_EI26uD-ULtLwmr-kCEdAjw1ryz5Vu1_8X1fEVzBF9UEDtpi48AdqOrLVn_KIwA2FyfHJKAhJS7MZCRJ1ha5b8E57DrW1cxRhr7VOLruf2pvaogxDIKcNLbnK5/s320/faith2.jpg" width="320px" /></span></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: arial;">Live and learn, ladies. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: arial;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: arial;">But all commentary on Eliza Dushku’s insane levels of sexiness aside, Faith is a brilliant character – she’s so good that she even makes up for how godawful Kendra was last season.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: arial;"><br />One thing that Kendra was good for, was showing the alternative to Buffy’s version of the Slayer. Flowri and I have spoken (at length) about how Kendra represents the regular-model Slayer: she’s cracked the books, obeyed her Watcher from her earliest memories, is all focus and discipline, no distractions allowed, whilst Buffy has friends, family, and an attempt at a social life. Spike makes an excellent point about the consequence of this in season five’s ‘Fool For Love’, that Buffy’s friends and family are what tie her to this world so she doesn’t get lost in the Slayer identity – but we’ll come to that in a later review. Shifting focus back to season three and we have Faith – the Slayer who <i>has</i> lost herself in the slaying. She revels in the hunt, the fight, the kill; it’s all there is to her. Faith doesn’t go to school, she doesn’t have a job, the only time we see her off-duty is when she’s trying to unwind after a hunt by cruising for guys, and she thinks she’s above the law and that normal human rules don’t apply to her. In Kendra we get the goody-two-shoes and in Faith we have your typical bad girl. Buffy represents more of a middle ground; every season of the show deals, to greater or lesser extent, with Buffy coming to terms with herself: being the Slayer, a daughter, a friend, a lover, a student, an employee – trying to find balance between different aspects of her identity. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: arial;"><br />Whilst Buffy was an influence on Kendra in the previous season, helping Kendra tap into and utilise her emotions and, well, lighten up a little, in contrast it is <i>Faith</i> who is the more powerful influence on Buffy – at least at first. Although initially jealous of Faith, jealous of having to share the identity of The Slayer, as the season progresses Buffy is increasingly tempted by Faith’s <i>modus operandi</i> and by ‘Bad Girls’ Buffy fully embraces Faith’s philosophy of “Want. Take. Have.” However, Faith crosses a line that Buffy isn’t prepared to follow her over: Faith kills a human. Whilst it is accidental, Faith’s lack of remorse is not: instead of turning to Buffy and/or Giles for help and atoning for her crime, Faith shrugs it off and embraces the dark side. Faith enters the employ of Mayor Richard Wilkins III himself – one of the greatest characters <i>ever</i>.<br /><br />The Mayor as Big Bad was alluded to during the past two seasons and <i>damn</i> does it pay off. Played to perfection by Harry Groener, the Mayor is charming, genial; like a 1950s grandfather, all twinkles in the eye and offers of cookies – but beneath that veneer is a soulless monster. He’s a magnificent bad guy and serves as a wonderful parallel to Giles. Despite Giles being appointed by the Council to serve was Watcher to both Buffy <i>and</i> Faith (‘Faith, Hope and Trick’) we’re never in any doubt as to who is Giles’ favourite. With Buffy’s deadbeat dad less and less in the picture, Giles is clearly her surrogate father and a lovely father-figure to the Scooby Gang as a whole. Faith, however, is always a bit of an outsider to the group: she’s not invited to every meeting, she’s on her own a lot of the time, she doesn’t appear in every episode – she’s the side-kick and Buffy is the hero. And it pisses Faith off <b>big time</b>. A lot of her rivalry with Buffy comes from this tension: the fact that there are two Slayers when there’s only supposed to be one per generation, and Buffy got there first. Even when Wesley arrives on the scene, after Giles gets fired (‘Helpless’), it’s Buffy who gets most of his attention – although a large part of that is because Faith has already committed to her Bad Girl role and so can’t stick around to hear instructions the way Buffy can – so it’s little wonder that Faith falls so hard for the fatherly spiel the Mayor feeds her.<br /><br />It’s never confirmed in the show whether the Mayor is just using Faith or not. In the Season 8 comics Faith says that others have told her she was being used by him, but all she ever felt was loved. It’s also a common theme with Buffy villains that, however evil their motives, they tend to speak the truth. Sometimes hard, horrible truths that the good guys don’t want to hear, but truths nonetheless. So it is very possible that Mayor Wilkins <i>does</i> love Faith as a surrogate daughter: it certainly looks that way, especially considering the evidence. Buffy manages to use this against the Mayor in ‘Graduation Day: Part Two’; she shows him the knife she used to stab Faith with and it <i>hurts</i> him, this reminder of Faith’s near-death status. He also visits Faith in the hospital (before he turns into a giant snake, obv) and is distressed to see her injured; and as we see in season four, he puts systems in place to try and take care of Faith in the event she survives and he doesn’t. Wilkins is to Faith what Giles is to Buffy; they’re two sides of the same coin. It’s also awesome to see the Mayor being, well, a mayor, in episodes like ‘Gingerbread’ – and his ‘To Do’ list in ‘Bad Girls’ is just <i>priceless</i>. <span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="http://www.google.co.uk/url?source=imglanding&ct=img&q=http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lkt9riQkHA1qzguvgo1_400.gif&sa=X&ei=RU96TuiSGpCTswai4Lm_Dw&ved=0CAYQ8wc&usg=AFQjCNERh-pEYAvtkd0dlsxJSQtLUw03bQ" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="270px" src="http://www.google.co.uk/url?source=imglanding&ct=img&q=http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lkt9riQkHA1qzguvgo1_400.gif&sa=X&ei=RU96TuiSGpCTswai4Lm_Dw&ved=0CAYQ8wc&usg=AFQjCNERh-pEYAvtkd0dlsxJSQtLUw03bQ" width="360px" /></a></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /><br />Now this is meant to be a write-up of season three, not just totally devoted to Faith, so I’ll say one last thing and then move on: The fight. Between Buffy and Faith. ‘Graduation Day: Part One’. Best. Fight scene. <i>Ever.</i> Oh, man, I could watch that scene on repeat for the rest of time. FANTASTIC.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br />Right, so, the rest of the season.<br /><br />Angel is much stronger in this season – as PJ pointed out, you can really see him start to do things on his own, stepping up and doing the whole private investigator thing that will be his gig in the spin-off series <i>Angel</i> that started after this. There are some great scenes with Angel, too; Flowri noted how in ‘Enemies’, when Angel has to pretend to have lost his soul, it becomes clear that Angelus isn’t the separate entity that Angel wishes him to be. Angel is always talking about Angelus as a different being, removed from soul-having Angel; he doesn’t talk much about what he remembers doing when he’s soulless and everything from his mannerisms to his use of nicknames for people changes depending on whether he’s in possession of a soul or not. However, in ‘Enemies’ he fakes being Angelus far too well – he knows <i>exactly</i> how to play it, which he wouldn’t do if being Angelus was this vague, fuzzy, “I can barely remember it” experience. Angel tries to pass off being soulless as kind of like being profoundly drunk and not being able to fully remember your words or actions the next day – instead, it becomes obvious here that the same mind, the same consciousness and memory, is at work in both Angel <i>and</i> Angelus: the soul just gives him a moral compass that Angelus lacks.<br /><br />Willow’s use of magic is also developed in this season; in ‘Faith, Hope and Trick’ Giles is pretending he needs to do a spell, as a pretext for getting Buffy to talk about her experience of sending Angel to hell, and when Willow offers to help it’s clear that Giles is uncomfortable about her continued exploration of witchcraft. Willow’s own abilities are her downfall: she has great power and the kind of studious, focused mind that enable her to progress quickly through magic – but as she’s moving so fast, she isn’t learning the responsibility that should come with it. It’s like Ian Malcolm says:<br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia;">“…it didn't require any discipline to attain it. You read what others had done, and you took the next step. You didn't earn the knowledge for yourselves, so you don't take any responsibility for it. You stood on the shoulders of geniuses to accomplish something as fast as you could”</span> – </span><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0107290/" target="new"><span style="font-family: arial;">Jurassic Park</span></a><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: arial;">We’ll talk more about this in the season six review, but for now it’s a great little insight into how the plots are developing through the show. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: arial;"><br />Xander really improves in this season, too. After being mostly the comic relief in the previous two seasons, in ‘The Zeppo’ in particular he really comes into his own and becomes a character that Flowri and I do not loathe. He has moments of total-jerk-ness, which I’ll cover in The Bad and The Ugly (<i>quelle surprise</i>), but there are times when he’s great – stand-out Good Guy moment being buying the dress for Cordelia. Heart: melted.<br /><br />On a similar note, I <i>love</i> how we’re already getting hints about Dawn’s arrival, like Faith telling Buffy she’s “all dressed up in big sister’s clothes” (‘Graduation Day: Part One’) and the references to Dawn in the dream-sequence in ‘Graduation Day: Part Two’.<br /><br />I am also a <i>massive</i> fan of ‘Lover’s Walk’, for obvious reasons.</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: arial;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirmcSX5QtFL2r3ZalLG_0PApvdxmmlnJjJsa13DEdMnRbioZYNmXGF1qNZAoD3alxVcUmUuyqBdQ288bwvjx8_aVYuGuwwiD8KkN6huI6Fec-uBZy6kWj-OqtQ69AG50FIjp4x3Ng5aCmR/s1600/spike1.jpg"><img alt="Spike and hilarity, all I ask for from a TV show" border="0" id="Spike and hilarity, all I ask for from a TV show" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirmcSX5QtFL2r3ZalLG_0PApvdxmmlnJjJsa13DEdMnRbioZYNmXGF1qNZAoD3alxVcUmUuyqBdQ288bwvjx8_aVYuGuwwiD8KkN6huI6Fec-uBZy6kWj-OqtQ69AG50FIjp4x3Ng5aCmR/s320/spike1.jpg" style="cursor: hand; display: block; height: 194px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 259px;" /></a></span><br />
<span style="font-family: arial;">‘Beauty and the Beasts’ has a great plot, too: whilst it may be a touch heavy-handed, I love how the bad guy in this episode isn’t an actual demon, it’s just a normal guy<a href="#two">**</a>. It’s a great way to cover the issue of domestic violence through the veil of monsters that the show employs. This is also the season of lighter episodes like ‘Band Candy’ and ‘Earshot’, which I can pretty much watch on repeat. “Someplace that’s else” has permanently entered my vocabulary thanks to ‘Band Candy’ – and every single time I watch Buffy delivery the line “Unless you’re too busy having <i>sex</i> with my <i>mother</i>” I laugh and laugh and laugh. Plus: naughty teen Giles.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 0px;"></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyiAaRK1K7tMOW_gAV_wycgqXd-Gj3rbvWqb5NGpmjtCxJuxl7BqIcG7aIX3jRJxvMNTwWnoJOU8_GXft2E0RpOWVWqvOmUvUee94d6BpY_NkFeziL7W2jK3ucER1a8u9dQHBfCR7m6vX3/s1600/giles1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><img alt="The more I blog, the more I realise just how big a crush I have on Giles" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyiAaRK1K7tMOW_gAV_wycgqXd-Gj3rbvWqb5NGpmjtCxJuxl7BqIcG7aIX3jRJxvMNTwWnoJOU8_GXft2E0RpOWVWqvOmUvUee94d6BpY_NkFeziL7W2jK3ucER1a8u9dQHBfCR7m6vX3/s1600/giles1.jpg" /></span></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJqhepQomBotSzkl-KVL98wBRefBGspu_kwz_f8ck8uL4cLZpERwGpZuF5l4kPAMdXYt-uV2VKP_56WdS_U0lAxmaIcUlb28D_6_j65OM_FjXyzK6ojtsRMK-M_cuuotZXVDegEtEw_J3l/s1600/giles2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><img alt="Yeah you would" border="0" height="151px" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJqhepQomBotSzkl-KVL98wBRefBGspu_kwz_f8ck8uL4cLZpERwGpZuF5l4kPAMdXYt-uV2VKP_56WdS_U0lAxmaIcUlb28D_6_j65OM_FjXyzK6ojtsRMK-M_cuuotZXVDegEtEw_J3l/s320/giles2.jpg" width="320px" /></span></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: arial;">You are <i>welcome</i>.</span><span style="font-family: arial;"><br />Basically, the three of us pretty much established that season three is all killer, no filler. There are some less-than-great episodes, which I’ll come to next, but overall it’s damn near perfect.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: arial;"><b>The Bad:</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br />Most of the bad in this season hinges on Xander. Again. There is also awesome-Xander, as I said, but there’s a lot of horrible-Xander, too. We were all irritated by the Willow-and-Xander romance subplot. For a start, it is so damn frustrating that every TV show <b>ever</b> is apparently convinced that boys and girls can’t be friends – despite the real-life evidence and experience of me and most of my friends and most of our <i>friends’</i> friends. Pretty much everyone I know has friends of the opposite sex and it’s disappointing that Joss falls into the stereotype-trap and has Willow and Xander not only get into a romantic relationship, but cheat on their respective partners to do so. It’s a real slap in the face to Oz (lovely lovely Oz) and to Cordelia – especially given how Cordelia is speaking about Xander in ‘Homecoming’. She seemed to be really growing as a person and falling in love with Xander, and his cheating just knocks Cordy back into being this catty, bitchy Mean Girl again.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><br />Boyfriend hates how Cordy is portrayed in this series and thinks it’s bad writing, that she becomes a total unreasoning, unlikeable bitch: Flowri and I see it differently. Cordy has tried being (a bit) nicer, tried playing along with this group of social outcasts, and she gets deeply wounded for her efforts. Xander and Willow are obviously to blame for their cheating; but Cordelia also sees Buffy as being partially to blame (‘The Wish’) because her hanging with Xander made him “marginally cooler” and also put him and Cordy together in all these tense, high-drama situations that made him more sexually appealing. His cheating, his rejection of her, pushes Cordelia back into being her old self – she’s tried on a different identity by being one of the Scooby Gang, and it didn’t work out, so she’s goes back to the identity she knew best. </span><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /><br />Aside from all of this, the Willow/Xander plot doesn’t feel very real; it’s not as though the actors have this searing sexual chemistry that sells the unbelievable plot, either. It all feels half-arsed which, combined with said lack of chemistry, means it doesn’t sell the idea that Willow would cheat on Oz (lovely lovely Oz) or that Xander would give up this great relationship that he’d been building with Cordelia. The worst plot of the season, really. <br /><br /><br />There are some bad episodes, too: ‘Anne’, ‘Dead Man’s Party’, ‘Amends’ and ‘The Prom’. All do drive the plot forward (seriously: no filler) but not in especially great ways. ‘Anne’ is mediocre; ‘Dead Man’s Party’ may have one of the single greatest Giles-lines on Earth<a href="#three">***</a> but overall has the characters generally behaving as unlikeable dicks; ‘Amends’ has The First, who is just <i>stupid</i> (I try and defend it as a villain when Boyfriend started criticizing the idea, but deep down I know that [for once] he is right and The First <i>is</i> nonsensical); and ‘The Prom’ is a bit twee. But so help me I get moved despite myself when Jonathan presents Buffy with the Class Protector award.<br /><br />Moving swiftly on…<br /><br />There are also some gaping logic fails: the one that stands out being when Willow uses a tranquilizer dart on VampWillow in ‘Dopplegangland’. Seriously? A <i>tranquilizer</i>? On a <i><b>vampire?!</b></i><br /><span style="font-family: arial;">How the hell would the drug work? How would it circulate through something that <i>has no circulation?!!</i> It’s like Spike suffocating Drusilla in ‘Becoming: Part Two’ – it makes no damn sense within the internal logic of the show and is really something that should have been picked up on and edited out.<br /><br />There’s also the first few appearances of Angel. For contractual he-has-to-appear-in-every-episode-because-he’s-a-credited-character reasons, Angel is featured in episodes from the beginning of the season. The problem is that Angel is <i>in a hell-dimension</i> until ‘Beauty and the Beasts’, so can’t exactly feature as per usual. It’s clear that he was just wedged in for the sake of it, with dream-sequences aplenty, and it feels like lazy writing. Although there are a few good episodes of <i>Angel</i> and some great appearances of the character in this season, overall I think it would have been <i>way</i> better if Angel had stayed dead after Buffy sent him to hell at the end of season two. I think the writers agree with me, too: Buffy whinging “I killed Angel” is a recurring motif of the show, conveniently overlooking the fact that <i>he came back</i>. It’s a little bit more traumatic and dramatic if he’d actually stayed killed, after all.</span><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /><br /><b>The Ugly:</b><br /><br />We genuinely struggled to think of any Ugly from this series, but as ever we fall back on that ol’ favourite: Xander.<br /><br />He has highs and lows in this season: the low being sending Faith to kill Angel when Xander discovers that Angel is back from Hell (‘Revelations’). Again, this is Xander acting out of purely selfish, nasty reasons: he still has a thing for Buffy, is still jealous of Angel, and so he tries to have someone executed. It’s also a pretty shitty way to treat Faith – Xander sends her out like his own personal attack-dog. Yes, he goes with her, but he’s not fooling anyone: there’s sod-all Xander can do against Angel and he knows it. He knows it’s Faith who will be in the firing-line and if he <i>genuinely believes</i> that it’s soulless Angelus who is back, then he’s sending Faith to face possible <i>death</i> just so he can have his rival taken permanently out of the picture.<br /><br />Plus, after the fall-out from being caught cheating with Willow, whilst Willow shows genuine remorse and makes extreme efforts to prove to Oz that she’s sorry, has changed, and is worth taking the chance on rebuilding trust with, Xander seems reluctant to accept any blame. It’s Cordelia who gets shoved out of the Scooby Gang (which we’ll see again with Anya in season six – <i>seriously</i>, Xander, shitty guy) – no damn wonder she gets her vengeance on in ‘The Wish’ – whilst Xander seems to get away scot-free. He even continues dishing out the verbal barbs to Cordy every time they meet, all because she wouldn’t accept his apology. He comes across, as ever, as mean, petty and low.<br /><br /><br />So that’s a wrap for season three, folks! Next time, the dizzy highs and crushing lows of season four.<br /><br />Gasp! as Buffy <i>drinks beer</i>!<br /><br />Tremble! as the government are involved in a <i>conspiracy</i>!<br /><br />Thrill! as Faith reappears on scene…!<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a name="one">*</a> I’ll link it here as soon as it’s written up.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><a name="two">**</a>‘Great. Now I’m going to be stuck with serious thoughts all day.’<br />
<a name="three"="">***</a>‘ “Look at my mask! Isn’t it pretty! It raises the dead!” Americans.’ </span></span></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9087764590265443167.post-12889098571780754352011-08-21T06:41:00.000-07:002011-08-21T11:09:21.646-07:00'Which means we're still the undead's favourite party town.'<span style="font-family:arial;font-size:small;">Continuing with my über-geeky mission to review every season of <i>Buffy the Vampire Slayer</i>, we now get to season 2. After reading my first review, my friend </span><a href="http://www.blogger.com/”http://twitter.com/#!/flowri”"><span style="font-family:arial;">Flowri</span></a><span style="font-family:arial;"> <s>demanded</s> asked to be involved in the writing of future Buffy reviews and considering she is also an eminent Buffologist, I was happy to have her join me in the crafting of this post.
<br />
<br />So this, my friends, is the result of two of the finest Buffy-orientated minds on the Internet at work. BEHOLD OUR GLORY*.
<br />
<br />
<br /></span><span style="font-family:arial;"><b>SEASON TWO: Originally Aired 1997-98
<br />
<br />The Good:</b>
<br />
<br />Season 2 is altogether better crafted: for a start, there is a cohesive season arc that is far more intricate and well written than “the Master wants to escape” plot of season 1. There are also increased production values – there was a higher budget available for this season and it really shows. True, there’s still some sketchy CGI, but we’ll get to that. Apart from the odd monster-they-couldn’t-afford-to-show-right, this season looks better and is more tightly plotted. I think of this as the “convert” season; if you watch this season and still don’t like <i>Buffy</i> then the show really isn’t for you. That’s not to say I necessarily think season 2 is the best (although it is one of my favourites), but it contains some of the strongest episodes, some of the most resonant messages and some of the most entertaining and generally <i>awesome</i> characters of the show. If you reach the end of season 2 and still think, “Meh, I can live without this” then I don’t think there are any other seasons that will win you over.
<br />
<br />Flowri and I are both in agreement that the plot of this season is just masterful. Call us sadists, but we love it. For the uninitiated, or for those poor of memory, this is the season in which Buffy and Angel consummate their <i>luuurve</i>, make with the sexing, and this moment of perfect happiness causes Angel to lose his soul and turn evil. It’s not a very subtle analogy, true – girl sleeps with boy, boy changes and gets mean – but it is handled so deftly and in a fairly original way. The performances are what really sell it: David Boreanaz’s acting has vastly improved in this season and you can see he really relishes playing the bad guy.
<br />
<br />
<br /></span><span style="font-family:arial;">
<br />
<br /><p></span></p><a href="http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lnc2xveDOA1qanra0o1_500.jpg"><span style="font-family:arial;"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 500px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 375px; CURSOR: hand" border="0" alt="He also gets, like, a thousand times sexier" src="http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lnc2xveDOA1qanra0o1_500.jpg" /></span></a><span style="font-family:arial;">
<br />
<br />It’s a universal theme, something nearly all women have experienced at some point in their lives and so this really resonates with the audience. We <i>really</i> feel for Buffy and Sarah Michelle Gellar’s acting is, quite simply, brilliant. Buffy’s heartbreak, her guilt and pain, are palpable. It’s a brilliant story-arc – especially as it’s the plot you don’t see coming.
<br />
<br />Season 2 initially seems to be all about the new bad guys, Spike and Drusilla (<b>believe me</b> when I say we will come back to them,</i> at length</i>) – a replay of season 1’s Buffy versus the Master. Instead we get the sucker-punch of Angel’s transformation and this season becomes about growing up, becoming an adult and dealing with the consequences of your decisions (as reflected through the episode titles: <i>“What’s My Line”, “Innocence”, “Phases”, “Becoming”</i>... You get the picture). <i>Buffy</i> works best when the show deals with real-life issues through monster-metaphors**, and as that’s the focus of this season it’s another reason why this story-arc is <i>Buffy</i> at its best.
<br />
<br />This plot also shows us the true wonder of Giles: best father-figure ever. His speech to Buffy, after the reveal of how Angel came to lose his soul, is so moving and so <i>loving</i>. It’s exactly what Buffy needs to hear and exactly what every girl would want to hear if she were in a similar situation. Buffy expresses her feelings of guilt and responsibility to Giles, and what he says in reply is:
<br />
<br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">“Do you want me to wag my finger at you and tell you that you acted rashly? You did. And I can. I know that you loved him. And, he ... he's proven more than once that he loved you. You couldn't have known what would happen. The coming months are, are going to be hard, I suspect on all of us. But if it's guilt you're looking for, Buffy, I'm not your man. All you will get from me is my support. And my respect.” (<i>“Innocence”)</i>
<br /></span>
<br />Every time I watch that scene, I simultaneously get a tear in my eye and the urge to just stand up and applaud Giles. It’s fantastic and heart-warming.
<br />
<br /></span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjH3mnWizZGQ3rcDyNzGxAY0RKue8f3ZT60vEw2XnV9BEa4kI0SZxsogYsa80sU0qUEgh7nsKiA7r7NYzuw9u_N9SUc9IXe_4AOj-clNLjxaYrw5G7bKrlWu8bTj262z6PtN_0lXpkbt_4/s400/af43.jpg"><span style="font-family:arial;"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 200px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 275px; CURSOR: hand" border="0" alt="Also he is very sexually attractive." src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjH3mnWizZGQ3rcDyNzGxAY0RKue8f3ZT60vEw2XnV9BEa4kI0SZxsogYsa80sU0qUEgh7nsKiA7r7NYzuw9u_N9SUc9IXe_4AOj-clNLjxaYrw5G7bKrlWu8bTj262z6PtN_0lXpkbt_4/s400/af43.jpg" /></span></a><span style="font-family:arial;">
<br />
<br />How great a father-figure*** Giles is to Buffy is also neatly contrasted by just how <i>poor</i> a father-figure Buffy’s <i>actual dad</i> is. Hank Summers is barely present in this season; we see him in <i>“When She Was Bad”</i>, briefly, during which time he tells Joyce just how little he understands Buffy. Hank has allowed Buffy to purchase lots of clothes and shoes (maybe that’s where she gets all her stuff from and why the Dungarees of Doom are the only things she wears more than once, for <i>the entire duration of the show</i>). When her birthday rolls around, Buffy tells her friends and Angel how she and Hank have plans, how they always go to the ice show together and it’s a really meaningful event. Surprise, surprise, Hank doesn’t show. He sends flowers and a card instead – trying to buy his way into Buffy’s affections again. Hank doesn’t get Buffy and doesn’t get how to connect to her, how to be her father now that she’s growing up and now that he’s divorced from her mother. Giles, on the other hand, for all his despairing of Buffy’s unconventional slaying, <i>does</i> understand her. And not only does he understand her, he <i>accepts</i> her.
<br />
<br />The issue of step fathers is also handled pretty well in the episode “Ted”. Buffy’s jealousy, her struggle to accept this new person in her mother’s life, the friction between potential-step-father and potential-step-daughter all feels real and believable. This episode also features under “The Bad”, however, so it’s a bit of a double-edged sword.
<br />
<br />Moving on from parental roles, Flowri also highlighted her enjoyment of the “new” monsters introduced in this season. Season 1 was much more about the vampires, whilst 2 broadens its horizons. Other friends of mine have complained to me in the past about this: they point out that Buffy is a <i>vampire</i> slayer, so to have her tackling all these other monsters feels a bit like an X-Files knock-off. I lean more to Flowri’s feelings on the matter: if Buffy was just fighting vampires week in, week out, the show would inevitably get stale. More monsters mean more variety; it also opens situations up to being analogous for everyday teen issues. With monster-fighting.
<br />
<br />Onto the best monsters of them all: Spike and Drusilla.
<br />
<br /></span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgw2DxNXPlrJAY2yXh9fpmTjZNBbnrjM1w3PvmFoQDUR-sLXx5V7rUT74gnbzasS6XWry-9t25ccJ1fpZ4LqMZ_ob3bp9hG08phuXtqbfaSI17fobu8zAyaSs8Vq06MXh_FEATxyt4SO8Od/s1600/drusilla-spike.jpg"><span style="font-family:arial;"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 213px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 320px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5643339129528883122" border="0" alt="You have NO IDEA how much fanfic I wrote about these guys back in the day" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgw2DxNXPlrJAY2yXh9fpmTjZNBbnrjM1w3PvmFoQDUR-sLXx5V7rUT74gnbzasS6XWry-9t25ccJ1fpZ4LqMZ_ob3bp9hG08phuXtqbfaSI17fobu8zAyaSs8Vq06MXh_FEATxyt4SO8Od/s320/drusilla-spike.jpg" /></span></a><span style="font-family:arial;"> </span>
<br /><span style="font-family:arial;">Ahh, Spike and Dru. It’s important to note here that, despite being soulless evil psychopaths, theirs is possibly the healthiest relationship in the show’s history. As the Judge says, they share jealousy and affection; Spike is devoted to Drusilla’s well-being, is tender towards her, careful of her feelings and they clearly share passion. True, the arrival of Angelus throws a spanner in the works (and I love how the series <i>Angel</i> fills out the backstory of this), but then Spike goes to surprising lengths to win Dru back – he teams up with the Slayer, and we all know where <i>that</i> leads, </span><a href="http://www.blogger.com/”" term="spuffy”"><span style="font-family:arial;">Spuffy</span></a><span style="font-family:arial;"> fan-service I’m looking at you. Ahem, anyway.
<br />
<br />The love that Spike and Drusilla share humanizes them and makes them sympathetic. They’re engaging characters, we root for them (despite their opposition to the eponymous hero) and yet they’re still evil. Spike <i>loves</i> being the Big Bad, fighting the Slayer and smashing up the town. He revels in being evil, yet still has that core of tenderness and vulnerability that make him so compelling to watch.
<br />
<br /></span>
<br />
<br /><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha1CeWCyxUX7C0vWwznltC_o1t9uCZUvqQLCgi1avpmWywmiw33H3uO1u3gpAx8-BDugMRaCIA6GXWwMP6Tbn8HYDLoBMxgqzmUKuizapayhPzox29r8dnSwpJO87JkdpJnsd8MBWRV0X9/s1600/Spike-James-Marsters-spike-2968475-599-700.jpg"><span style="font-family:arial;"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 240px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 280px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5643342231826974578" border="0" alt="Easy on the eyes, too." src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha1CeWCyxUX7C0vWwznltC_o1t9uCZUvqQLCgi1avpmWywmiw33H3uO1u3gpAx8-BDugMRaCIA6GXWwMP6Tbn8HYDLoBMxgqzmUKuizapayhPzox29r8dnSwpJO87JkdpJnsd8MBWRV0X9/s320/Spike-James-Marsters-spike-2968475-599-700.jpg" /></span></a><span style="font-family:arial;">
<br />Spike’s alliance with Buffy is also stand-out fantastic. It’s so unexpected, something the Master, Darla, Angelus or any of the typical vampires from this universe would <i>never</i> consider. The dialogue here, and in fact all of Spike’s dialogue <i>everywhere</i>, is just brilliant. Joss clearly relishes writing this character and it pays off.
<br />
<br />This is also the series that introduces the long-running arc of Willow using magic; a plot that doesn’t gain prominence until season 6. Fascinated by the Wicca that Jenny Calendar practices, Willow begins playing with magic – the problem being the “playing” part of that equation. When they find the spell to restore Angel’s soul, Willow offers to try casting it. Giles warns her that it will involve “opening a door you might not be able to close” ("<i>Becoming, Part One”</i>) – a nice bit of foreshadowing that subtly sets an ominous tone for Willow’s continuing use of magic.
<br />
<br />There’s more foreshadowing of the Mayor, especially in scenes with Principal Synder (who continues to be awesome). That, and having the same detective turn up whenever the police are involved, ties the show’s continuity together and makes the world of Sunnydale feel more real.
<br />
<br />Then there’s Oz.
<br />
<br /></span><a href="http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ_B6E1uuDYpN5tuy5Y4fCpWxgsZa6NCXUEu_BOyJ7dD0mUY2odsQ"><span style="font-family:arial;"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 250px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 202px; CURSOR: hand" border="0" alt="Mmm, voyeuristic." src="http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ_B6E1uuDYpN5tuy5Y4fCpWxgsZa6NCXUEu_BOyJ7dD0mUY2odsQ" /></span></a><span style="font-family:arial;">
<br />
<br />To phrase it exactly as it is in the notes Flowri and I made: “Oz is so sweet. God how we love him. Generally, just Oz. Everything about him.” Which pretty much sums it up. Oz is a man of few words, but when he does speak it’s always hilarious or moving, or both. His scene with Willow and the animal crackers (“I mock you with my monkey pants” - "W<i>hat’s My Line, Part Two”</i>) is both laugh-out-loud funny and totally endearing. The way this show deals with werewolf mythology is also original: rather than having a man gradually destroyed by the wolf within, we see a werewolf who has a support network of friends and family. There’s also the Classic Joss Fake-Out, leading the audience to expect Larry is the werewolf (in "<i>Phases”</i>) and then having Larry’s big reveal of his homosexuality (which is also really maturely handled by the show). It all makes for a great twist, as well as the useful werewolf-changes-as-puberty metaphor.
<br />
<br />Finally, there are some <i>masterful</i> episodes in this series: <i>“I Only Have Eyes For You”</i> has so many layers, so many ways in which it’s meaningful for the characters. Everything from the dialogue to the use of music in this episode is just perfect. As well as having the plot resonate with Buffy, the show’s writers skilfully acknowledge this by having Cordelia vocalise it, commenting on how Buffy is over-identifying with the situation. <i>”Becoming”</i>, parts one and two, are brilliant as well. We <i>adore</i> how Angelus plays Buffy in this episode; how he tempts her into fighting him as a distraction so his gang can kidnap Giles. It’s Angelus’ line, “It was <i>never</i> about you!” and his laughing glee at Buffy’s despair that just make it. "<i>Passion"</i> is another high note, presenting Buffy and Giles united in grief and showing the extent of cruelty that Angelus is capable of. Anthony Stuart Head acts his damn socks off in this episode: the moment when he walks in to a stage set by Angelus, to find Jenny murdered in his bed – heartbreaking. And Head acts it so subtly; it’s all in the eyes and it gets me every single time.
<br />
<br /><b>The Bad:</b>
<br />
<br />Once again, I have Boyfriend to thank/curse for pointing this out to me, but dammit he’s right: the Scooby Gang are <i>never prepared</i>. They live in a town that is <i>on a Hellmouth</i>, they all know this, yet not <i>one</i> of them ever has so much as a cross on them. Hell, in <i>”When She Was Bad”</i> Buffy berates Willow and Xander for this very thing – yet no lessons are learned from this and they don’t start carrying crosses from that point onwards. Hell, there are times when Buffy doesn’t even have a stake (which does lead to some awesome improvisation, but still). Also, they have their meetings in a public building. What the hell? Why don’t they meet at Giles’ place, where vampires can’t come in unless invited and where Giles could keep books on demonology and serious weapons around without anyone questioning this? Yeah, having teens go to an older man’s apartment every night would...raise questions, but them hanging out all the time at the library just leaves them open to attack after attack after attack. And they <b>never learn</b>.
<br />
<br />So, they’re in a public building. Why then, in <i>"Passion”</i>, does Jenny ask Angelus how he got in? This is a huge gaping flaw in the show’s logic for two big reasons: 1. Angelus has been in the school before, namely in <i>"Innocence”</i>; 2. It’s a <b>PUBLIC BUILDING</b> so no invitation necessary. Yet Angelus still seems to imply an invitation would have been necessary, were it not for the school’s motto “Enter all ye who seek knowledge”. Yes, this sets up his funny, “What can I say? I’m a knowledge seeker” line, but that’s not a good enough reason to undermine the show’s internal rules this badly.
<br />
<br />Now, Ted. The fact that he is a <i>freaking robot</i> jars with everything else in the show. Demons, monsters, hellmouths, fine: but bringing </span><a href="http://www.blogger.com/”www.imdb.com/title/tt0090305/”"><span style="font-family:arial;">Weird Science</span></a><span style="font-family:arial;"> into this just seems out of place. It would have been better if he was just straight up a horrible person; it would have made him much scarier and given his storyline much more resonance. Failing that, make him a demon. Seriously, how hard is that in the Buffyverse? Robot Ted just feels silly and it undermines all the goodness of that episode.
<br />
<br />Another stand-out <i>awful</i> episode is <i>”The Dark Age”</i>. It comes so, so close to being excellent; however, as I touched on in my previous post, fleshing out Giles’ backstory just contradicts what season 1 had already said about him. Gah. Internal logic fail. Also, how they defeat Eyghon is just stupid and the effects of Angel’s demon fighting the Eyghon-possession are <i>terrible</i> - bad enough to get a mention in “The Ugly” section. Finally: hey, kids! Did you know that getting a tattoo removed is easy, leaves no scar or other mark, can be arranged in a day or two and costs about the same as a new pair of shoes?! It’s stupid all round. Ethan is awesome, though.
<br />
<br />Speaking of bad episodes, we have <i>”Go Fish”</i> - an episode that my friend </span><a href="http://www.blogger.com/”"><span style="font-family:arial;">PJ Montgomery</span></a><span style="font-family:arial;"> describes as “the nadir of season 2”. What this episode is supposed to even mean is anyone’s guess.
<br />
<br />Next we come to The Order of Taraka. Apparently they will keep coming and coming, numbers in their hundreds, until the contract is fulfilled and the target is dead. But all the Scoobies need to do is kill three of them and they give up. This is sort-of awkwardly mentioned at the start of the next episode, but it feels like desperate ret-conning because the writers suddenly realised they’d left a gaping plot hole. If you create a legion of unstoppable assassins, they should be <i>a legion of unstoppable assassins</i>. Not just ones that quietly go away once the person who took out the contract apparently dies.
<br />
<br />Except the contractor, Spike, <i>hasn’t</i> really died, so why would he call them off? Presumably he’s already paid for the hit on Buffy – it’s just bad business that the Order would stop trying once they hear Spike is dead. And as Spike lives, why don’t he and Dru ask the Order to come back and finish what they started? It’s illogical.
<br />
<br />Another major gripe of mine is how little <i>actual evil</i> Angelus does. Sure, he kills a few Special Guest Stars, and they way he kills Jenny Calendar and displays her body for Giles to find – cold. So, so cold and totally evil and really well done. But that’s it. My <i>cats</i> do more evil than Angelus (for a start, they eviscerate way more things than he ever does). Now, Joss plays the long plot game. He was leading up to Angel turning evil for a long time, which means he had opportunity to prepare better for this. If it were me scripting the show, I would’ve had another member of the Scooby Gang (apart from poor, forgotten Jesse), either on board from the first episode or introduced in season 2. This person would then have been killed by Angelus, in a really brutal way. I know the show had to stick to ratings guidance, but you don’t actually need to show things on screen; just <i>hint</i> at what Angelus has done, and the audience will fill in the gaps with their own imagination. It’s a hard and fast rule of TV and film that what the audience can imagine is <i>always</i> worse than anything you can actually show. Angelus also only tortures Giles a bit when he kidnaps him in <i>”Becoming”</i>. He, what, breaks Giles’ fingers? Roughs his face up a little? It’s hardly the kind of actions that warrant Angelus’ reputation as the “scourge of Europe”.
<br />
<br />We also learn from this series that being evil makes you wear leather and eyeliner and start smoking. We will revisit this theme with Faith in season 3, and <i>jesus</i> is it heavy-handed.
<br />
<br />There are some factual problems, too: the police don’t follow actual procedure (they need to say “Stop or I’ll shoot”, they can’t just start firing off rounds at a <i>teenage girl</i>). And how, exactly, does Spike strangling Drusilla knock her out? She is vampire. Vampires don’t breathe. They don’t have circulation. You need to breathe and have circulation in order to be knocked out by strangulation. IT MAKES NO SENSE.
<br />
<br />Also, you know that whenever someone new is introduced, they’re going to be integral to the plot in some way. This is a problem endemic to television shows, sure, but there are ways around it; having a broader cast of extras would help. Larry, Amy, Harmony and Jonathan are the only repeat characters we see; even Cordelia’s friends change every damn time we see them. A wider cast of reccuring characters would mean that plot-points could happen that involved one of these characters, and it would come as more of a surprise as we wouldn’t know whether their appearance meant something was going to happen to them, or they were just there to fill a scene.
<br />
<br />Flowri also pointed out how we <i>never</i> hear about the girl who died in order for Buffy to be Chosen. We meet other Slayers, and Potentials, but there’s nary a mention of the previous Slayer.
<br />
<br />We also have a problem with the vampires not drinking blood when they kill people: Angelus snaps Jenny’s neck and Drusilla slits Kendra’s throat – but neither of them feed. Now, they’re <i>vampires</i>. Vampires are all about the blood-drinking. So why have them kill without also drinking blood? It doesn’t seem right.
<br />
<br />And don’t even get us started on Kendra’s freaking accent – why not cast someone who <i>was actually Jamaican</i>?! ARGH.
<br />
<br />
<br /><b>The Ugly:</b>
<br />
<br />Once again, the special effects get a mention in this section. The rule is, if you can’t show it well, don’t show it at all! Joss mostly fails to heed this rule, unfortunately. Best/worst examples of this rule being broken are the shit snake/lizard/man demon from <i>”Reptile Boy”</i>, the demon-fight/face-ripple of <i>"The Dark Age"</i> and the effects in <i>”Inca Mummy Girl”</i>. Also, the swords from <i>”Becoming”</i>: they’re meant to be the weapons for this big awesome final fight and instead they look like they were bought in a pound shop. There are some appalling stunt doubles, too: Spike’s double in <i>”School Hard”</i> is a chunky guy in a spectacularly bad wig, and Angelus has a bloody awful double for the sword fight in <i>”Becoming, Part Two”</i>.
<br />
<br /><i>“Reptile Boy”</i> and <i>”Inca Mummy Girl”</i> get another mention, this time for being generally terrible filler episodes, along with <i>”Some Assembly Required”</i>. They serve no purpose to the plot of the season as a whole, don’t exactly develop any of the characters or their relationships, and would be better off on the cutting-room floor.
<br />
<br />There’s also the <i><a href="http://www.blogger.com/”">Lolita</a></i> overtones of the Buffy/Angel relationship: in <i>”Becoming, Part Two”</i> we see the first time Angel sees Buffy – and she is literally sucking on a lollipop. She’s also fifteen. And shallow. And generally an awful person. And yet Angel inexplicably falls instantly in love with her – which is extra-creepy, given the fact that she’s fifteen. He also sees her cry, which means that as Flowri beautifully put it, “not only does he like them young, he likes them vulnerable”.
<br />
<br /><i>"Becoming, Part Two"</i> and <i>"What's My Line, Part Two"</i> also feature the godawful Dungarees of Doom - the most hideous item of clothing anyone in America has ever owned, and what the writers apparently feel signifies Buffy's fragile state of mind during times of extreme emotional distress. Why would she even own these things? Why does she always wear them to show how upset she is? God how I loathe them.
<br />
<br />Finally, we come to the ugliest thing about season 2: Xander Harris. To quote Flowri again, “It’s 22 episodes of him doing the ‘I told you so’ dance”. Xander is an ugly, ugly person in this season: he’s emotionally abusive to Cordelia and dismissive of Willow’s feelings. To cap it off, he rejects Willow’s love for him and then gets jealous of Oz when Willow moves on – Xander is totally out of line. The characters do acknowledge a bit of this themselves: in <i>”Phases”</i> Willows says how Xander is so busy looking around at what he doesn’t have that he doesn’t see what he <i>does</i> have, which is the understatement of the century as regards Xander. <i>”Phases”</i> also has some sexual tension between him and Buffy, which is just complicated to the max. Xander is pretty heartless towards Buffy, too: he’s still jealous of Angel and uses his transformation into Angelus as an excuse to vindicate his hatred. The vitriol with which Xander attacks Buffy on the subject of her feelings about Angel is so extreme; although to an extent Xander is right, Angelus does need to be punished for killing Jenny, Xander’s wish to kill Angel is based purely on selfish motives – if Angel wasn’t around, he’d have a chance with Buffy.
<br />
<br />Which is made all the uglier when you consider how he’s dating Cordelia during this period.
<br />
<br />Lying to Buffy is also totally unjustified: Willow sends Xander to find Buffy and give her the message that Willow is going to try the re-souling spell again (<i>”Becoming, Part Two”</i>). Instead, when Xander finds Buffy he tells her, “Willow says...kick his ass.”**** The world is very black and white to Xander, which is at odds with the increasing shades of grey shown by the other characters as the show develops. His attitude towards the Angel situation is <i>very</i> selfish and self-motivated; he’s <i>glad</i> that Angel is now evil and might potentially be killed by Buffy, all due to his jealousy. In <i>”Becoming, Part Two”</i> he also completely forgets to tell Oz that Willow is in the hospital – he wants all the girls to be focused on him, attracted to him, and when they show interest in anyone else this ugly, ugly jealousy rears its head.
<br />
<br />Compare Xander’s treatment of Cordelia to Spike’s treatment of Drusilla: yes, Cordy gives as good as she gets and a lot of the heat in their relationship comes from this banter, but there’s a line between banter and cruel psychological jabs, that Xander crosses all the damned time. Whenever Spike says something that inadvertently hurts Dru’s feelings, he’s instantly apologetic and comforting: if Xander sees that one of his barbed comments has actually hurt Cordy’s feelings, he celebrates.
<br />
<br />Xander is also a total hypocrite: he berates Buffy remorselessly for loving a vampire, and warns that Willow shouldn’t date a werewolf because “that type of breed can turn on its owner” (<i>”Phases</i>) – yet in the very next season Xander starts dating an ex-demon! Apparently him going out with Anya is fine, despite all the evil she did when she was a vengeance demon – yet he cannot forgive Angel all the evil he did whilst he was soulless Angelus.
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />That’s all we got for this season, folks! Tune in next time for serious girl-crushes on Faith and what is approaching blind worship of Giles.
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />*That reads <i>way</i> more euphemistic than I intended.
<br />
<br />**By which I mean, monsters that are metaphors for life issues: not monstrous metaphors, stalking the land, devouring helpless similes...
<br />
<br />***Look, Giles isn’t <i>my</i> father, nor my father-figure, ok? Put your Freudian analyses away, dammit!
<br />
<br />****This is referenced in season 7 – well played, Joss. It is also worth noting that there’s a chance if Xander <i>hadn’t</i> lied, Buffy would have held back when fighting Angelus and it could have gotten her killed. However, Xander doesn’t lie to save his friend; he lies because he wants his friend to kill the only man she’s ever loved. Because Xander is a dick.</span></p>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9087764590265443167.post-58852155429828027612011-07-30T22:16:00.000-07:002011-07-31T02:59:49.392-07:00'Why don't we start with, "Hi, I'm Buffy"?'<div align="justify"><span style="font-family:arial;">In case it's not </span><a href="http://www.blogger.com/”http://winskillfull-explains.blogspot.com/2009/05/staking-cash-cow.html”"><span style="font-family:arial;">painfully clear</span></a><span style="font-family:arial;">, I am a big fan of <i>Buffy the Vampire Slayer</i>. I would go so far as to describe myself as a Buffologist. Unsurprisingly, I own the boxset of the complete 7 series and recently, much to my delight, Boyfriend suggested we watch every single episode, right from the start*. This has led to much joy, but also much sadness: whilst my adoration for the show has caused me to overlook some of its flaws, similarly rose-tinted metaphor glasses do not blind Boyfriend and he has opened my eyes to some problems with the show.<br /><br />Now don’t get me wrong, I still love it. <b>Love. It.</b> But I am more aware of some problems inherent with it and would like to discuss these further. Because I also want to do the show justice (seriously: <b>LOVE. IT.</b>) I’m also going to discuss its brilliance and what lead <i>Buffy</i> to have such a loyal fanbase. I’ll take you through it one season at a time: and brother, if you thought my <i>last</i> post was geeky, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet...<br /><br />Just a quick note, I’m not going to criticize clothing or hair styles or anything like that, because fashions date. It’s beyond the control of TV writers or producers. Deal with it.<br /><br />...I will add one thing about clothing though, beautifully summarised by my mother: “There’s everyone else dressed for school and then there’s Buffy, who’s dressed like a whore.”<br /><br />Now, class, take out your number 2 pencils and we’ll begin – a long time ago, in a Southern California town far far away....<br /><br /><b>SEASON ONE: Originally Aired 1996-97**</b><br /><br /><b>The Good:</b><br />This season gets a lot of stick from critics and fans alike, because there’s a lot of elements that are <i>not very good</i>. What <i>is</i> good, however, is brilliant. The first episode opens with two kids breaking into the school after hours, setting up the usual “sexy blonde teen gets axe-murdered” scenario that is pretty much a horror movie trope. The Whedon-twist, however, is that here it’s the sexy blonde who is the murderer. Now a lot of people say this is an obvious set-up: however I would argue that it’s only obvious in retrospect. With knowledge of Whedon’s writing style it’s pretty easy to see the twist coming, but back in the Dark Ages of 1996 this was a <i>fresh</i> twist, and I love it. It plays along the same lines as the Slayer, the eponymous Buffy, being a cute blonde teen – taking typical (often misogynist) movie tropes and turning them on their head. A repeated theme that crops up in Whedon’s audio-commentary and interviews is that Buffy came from a feminist origin, giving women the power and the control in situations where they’ve usually been depicted as helpless. This resonates with me: I think, by and large, this show depicts <i>real women</i>. Sometimes they’re in control and in charge, sometimes they’re falling apart emotionally and needing support, and sometimes they’re being catty and spiteful and mean. Because people are three-dimensional and being a women doesn’t restrict you to becoming a 2D stereotype – but I’ve </span><a href="http://www.blogger.com/”http://winskillfull-explains.blogspot.com/2010/11/girls-boys.html”"><span style="font-family:arial;">ranted</span></a><span style="font-family:arial;"> at </span><a href="http://www.blogger.com/”http://winskillfull-explains.blogspot.com/2010/05/lacking-y-chromosome-doesnt-mean.html”"><span style="font-family:arial;">length</span></a><span style="font-family:arial;"> about this before, so I’ll leave it there. Whedon doesn’t always get it perfect, but he writes women I can get behind, you know?<br /><br /><i>Buffy</i> always plays with your expectations: either through red-herrings (like the line-up of potential killers in ‘Puppet Show’) or by turning tropes on their head, as with Buffy and Darla. Sometimes it’s more successful than others, but this show is always trying to surprise you and I love it for that. Take <i><a href="http://www.blogger.com/”www.imdb.com/title/tt1219024”">Castle</a></i>: now, this is another show that I love and adore and will defend to my grave. But nine times out of ten you can predict exactly what’s going to happen and when: I won’t bore you by going off on a tangent about what the usual set-up is, but trust me it’s pretty by-the-numbers (which just proves how great the characters are that I keep enjoying that show). <i>Buffy</i> never felt that way to me. True, by the later seasons that very playing-with-your-expectations thing had become, in itself, an expected motif – but a) the show still tried to surprise you, and b) for the moment we’re just on Season One.<br /><br />This leads me on to another of the good points: the characterisation. From one-appearance-only extras to regular characters, Whedon knows how to write ‘em (and how to pick a team of writers who are similarly gifted). Everyone in this show feels like a real person to me; off the top of my head I cannot think of anyone who stands out as completely wooden and badly written. Sure, there’s the occasional Extra In Need Of A Line*** but on the whole, everyone you see on screen is a very believable, individual personality. The reoccurring characters grow and develop as people, too. Even within this one series, the Buffy we see in ‘Prophecy Girl’ is a much stronger, more developed person than the Buffy of ‘Welcome to the Hellmouth’. Yes, characters like The Anointed are <i>just awful</i>; but they’re still believable.<br /><br />Slayer-slang is also a big part of why I love this show. I’m sure it’s put off more than one viewer, but the “-y” suffixes and the “slayage” in-joke dialogue that the central characters use is really enjoyable for me. This show is pretty much what happens when you let a geek make every geeky reference he wants to: and as I get all the references, this is right up my street. The dialogue is awesome and eternally quote-able – so much so that I had forgotten how many of my daily quotations are lifted from this show, until Boyfriend pointed it out whilst watching with me. Even in the bad episodes there are laugh-out-loud lines and comic set-ups that make every episode worth repeat viewing.<br /><br />At its best, there are episodes that are absolutely hilarious whilst also being incredibly creepy (‘Puppet Show’, ‘Nightmares’); or episodes that blend real emotion with snappy dialogue (‘Prophecy Girl’). There are also times when the show’s attempts to turn teen problems into analogies-with-monsters works really, really well. It can get heavy-handed (magic-addict-Willow plot, I’m looking at you) but there are episodes where the monster-of-the-week theme and teenage angst go brilliantly hand-in-hand (the best being, in my opinion, the Angel/Buffy plot from Season Two). In Season One this “monsters as metaphors for life problems” was just finding its feet, but episodes like ‘The Pack’ handle it really well.<br /><br />....‘The Pack’ is about puberty and the personality changes of adolescence, in case you were wondering. Anyhoo.<br /><br /><i>Buffy</i> is also about empowering geeks: Willow and Xander in particular are social outcasts, but in this show they save the world. Repeatedly. And they do research. In a library. As </span><a href="http://www.blogger.com/”http://www.cracked.com/article_18960_5-things-tv-writers-apparently-believe-about-smart-people.html”"><span style="font-family:arial;">Cracked.com</span></a><span style="font-family:arial;"> have pointed out: “even in the not-exactly-realistic Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the characters solved their dilemmas in nearly every episode in the library over stacks of books. That is, real discovery is often a slow grind through theories other, smarter people came up with in the past”. Sure, it’s a show where a super-powered teen battles monsters from hell dimensions, but it’s (remotely) grounded in reality and dammit, it’s the geeks who help to save the day!<br /><br />Also, this show takes the bold move of having someone <i>who is actually English</i> play the English character. Not with <i>every</i> English character in the show, true, but for this season at least we can fly the Union Jack with pride. Giles is another <i>major</i> Good Point about this show for me. Firstly, <i>damn</i>:<br /><br /></span></div><br /><p><span style="font-family:arial;"></span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTOwpzMfpHE_iC_dWRaq1OLN1BGoaq4BINAVpMO7BG_J7YWIo_8cXdg1N7bnraDzmnPcpJmJmpaHt-GfUHINvMGi9P1J-IiH-AJlBPt894iOq60eWjLutTLojUOzZY_zONIOHAtkbHeyQ/s400/giles.jpg"><span style="font-family:arial;"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 286px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 400px; CURSOR: pointer" border="0" alt="Awww yeah" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTOwpzMfpHE_iC_dWRaq1OLN1BGoaq4BINAVpMO7BG_J7YWIo_8cXdg1N7bnraDzmnPcpJmJmpaHt-GfUHINvMGi9P1J-IiH-AJlBPt894iOq60eWjLutTLojUOzZY_zONIOHAtkbHeyQ/s400/giles.jpg" /></span></a><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">Giles is fantastic: he’s dry, sarcastic, incredibly intelligent and smart; he’s sexually attractive (boy is he <i>ever</i>) and yet he can also be a non-threatening, supportive male role-model and father-figure. Which, yes, makes his sexual attraction all very Oedipal (and Buffy, Willow and Xander <i>actually perform</i> a scene from <i>Oedipus</i> in ‘Puppet Show’, which...now that I think about it...Yeah...) but, in a show where there are pretty much zero other positive father-figures, it is a role that desperately needs to be filled.<br /><br />Also there’s Armin Shimmerman as Principal Snyder, who is utter genius. His lines, Shimmerman’s delivery of them, the set-ups to the Mayor (who won’t be introduced until Season Three; god I love storytelling arcs) – his character is an absolute delight.<br /><br />Basically I could go on and on about the characters I love and why, so suffice to say, <i>Buffy</i> has some great characters.<br /><br />Now, the problems...<br /><br /><b>The Bad:</b><br />The major thing is the unresolved plot from the end of ‘Teacher’s Pet’. Again, I have </span><a href="http://www.blogger.com/”http://www.cracked.com/article/117_the-5-most-maddeningly-unresolved-tv-plotlines/”">Cracked.com</a><span style="font-family:arial;"> to thank/loathe for pointing this out to me: at the end of the episode we see the eggs laid by the human-sized-praying-mantis-disguised-as-a-substitute-teacher (don’t ask), hidden under a desk and <i>hatching!</i> ...Except we never see them again. It goes <i>nowhere</i> and is never spoke of again. So what the hell happened to them?!<br /><br />While we’re on the subject of things that are never spoken of again: Jesse.<br /><br /></span><a href="http://images1.fanpop.com/images/quiz/6784_1213142137768_225_271.jpg"><span style="COLOR: rgb(0,0,0)"></span><span style="font-family:arial;"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 225px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 271px; CURSOR: pointer" border="0" alt="Dude, I am totally forgettable!" src="http://images1.fanpop.com/images/quiz/6784_1213142137768_225_271.jpg" /></span></a><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">Poor Jesse. When the show opens in ‘Welcome to the Hellmouth’, Jesse is best friends with Willow and Xander. We sense there’s real history there, a bond of friendship that goes back years. At the end of the first episode he’s missing; in the second episode ‘The Harvest’, Jesse shows up again – and he’s now a vampire, having been caught by Darla and turned. Xander ends up staking him and yes, he does seem emotionally affected by it.<br /><br />Good thing he gets that emotion out of the way then and there, however, because Jesse is <i>never mentioned again</i>. Seriously, Willow and Xander’s <i>best friend</i> and he never warrants so much as a mention; not even a reference or a casual nod to his former existence. And in a show where Xander’s lie to Buffy about Willow saying to kill Angel is referenced five seasons later, that’s a pretty big sin of omission.<br /><br />‘Welcome to the Hellmouth’ also features Xander on a skateboard – which is the first, last and only time we see Skateboard Xander. Yet, the internet being what it is, someone totally </span><a href="http://www.blogger.com/”http://www.sashacustoms.co.uk/whedon/buffy/btvs-1/1-1-new-xander”"><span style="font-family:arial;">made an action figure</span></a><span style="font-family:arial;"> of this:<br /><br /></span><a href="http://www.sashacustoms.co.uk/uploads/images/sashaimages/btvs1/1-new-xander-a.jpg"><span style="font-family:arial;"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 300px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 500px; CURSOR: pointer" border="0" alt="The internet everybody!" src="http://www.sashacustoms.co.uk/uploads/images/sashaimages/btvs1/1-new-xander-a.jpg" /></span></a><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">Giles, alas, features in ‘Bad’ as well as ‘Good’ because there are a few significant continuity errors with his character. In ‘The Witch’ he casts a spell that he says is his “first” – yet in Season Two he’s revealed as an ex-warlock who was into serious dark magic. There’s also his fighting ability: Season One Giles is your typical TV librarian, barely able to swing his fists; yet Season Two shows him as having a rebel-without-a-cause past in which he was a violent, threatening figure. Ethan Rayne is extremely intimidated by him, hinting at the fact that Ethan knows Giles can deal out a can of whup-ass should the need arise. The show undermines its own continuity when it starts to develop the background of its characters.<br /><br />The same pattern is apparent with Darla. Another character I really enjoy, don’t get me wrong – but it’s pretty obvious that the writers decided <i>after</i> killing her off that she was a) a great character and b) really crucial to the character-development of Angel. So later in <i>Buffy</i> and in the spin-off <i>Angel</i>, Darla becomes not only Angel(us)’s maker, his Sire, but this crucial driving, shaping force in his life. She gets padded out with back story and further development and her relationship with Angel(us) is explored as this complex issue that actually works really well in both shows. My problem is thus: this was all <i>after her death</i>. In the episode ‘Angel’ (which is, shockingly enough, mostly about Angel) Angel ends up staking Darla in order to save Buffy.<br /><br />Now in Season One, first time around, this isn’t really a problem: we’ve only seen Darla a couple of times and, whilst we know there’s history with her and Angel it doesn’t seem to be all-consuming. Angel doesn’t seem overly affected by having to stake her.<br /><br />Seen through the ret-con perspective of further seasons of <i>Buffy/Angel</i>, however, and this is really terrible scripting: Angel’s <i>Sire</i>, the person who gave him this new existence, who he was obsessed with and fixated on <i>for centuries</i> and he stakes her over some hot chippy who he’s barely flirted with?! And he <i>doesn’t even bat an eyelid</i>?!! It makes no internal sense! When we see Spike offering to stake Dru to prove to Buffy that he loves her (‘Crush’, Season Five – we’ll get to that) it is a major deal. Now I’m willing to accept that part of the lack-of-apparent-reaction is down to David Boreanaz as Angel (I’ll get to <i>that</i>, too) but still; it’s seriously problematic.<br /><br />So, David Boreanaz.<br /><br /></span><a href="http://static.thehollywoodgossip.com/images/gallery/david-boreanaz-shirtless.jpg"><span style="font-family:arial;"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 313px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 500px; CURSOR: pointer" border="0" alt="It was very important this be the picture I used" src="http://static.thehollywoodgossip.com/images/gallery/david-boreanaz-shirtless.jpg" /></span></a><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">Now, he’s a great actor and totally owning <i><a href="http://www.blogger.com/”" com="" bones="">Bones</a></i>. <i>Now</i>. <i>Then</i>, however, his acting was ... not so good. You can see him trying, really trying, but playing Angel was his first major role and his inexperience shows. It makes for some clunky, awkward viewing – made somehow all the more obvious by seeing how good he is now. It’s weird. It’s also personally weird for me, because as a teen watching <i>Buffy</i> for the first time way back in the 90s, I had the biggest crush on Angel. Now, none of my Angel-love remains (it’s all Booth, baby) so it’s kind of weird watching the Buffy/Angel thing develop when I now have the maturity to look back and see just how melodramatic Buffy was being. It’s real teen stuff, sure, and it really resonated with my teenage self – just not so much anymore.<br /><br /></span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXYJkc9KICI9WUybO4aoeiWLnsoN8Ahs184Xtpo76imT5CBRGZOa4uZecff6DF6HaBHntTMu5IqduWp2N3UurViiJPy6yFpkyyuNSfZtZ-WXiCt5SfS-mfFeEMWd6tp8FpWYLsl9p__kM/s1600/boreanaz5.jpg"><span style="font-family:arial;"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 405px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 640px; CURSOR: pointer" border="0" alt="It is vital we reconsider David Boreanaz at this juncture" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXYJkc9KICI9WUybO4aoeiWLnsoN8Ahs184Xtpo76imT5CBRGZOa4uZecff6DF6HaBHntTMu5IqduWp2N3UurViiJPy6yFpkyyuNSfZtZ-WXiCt5SfS-mfFeEMWd6tp8FpWYLsl9p__kM/s1600/boreanaz5.jpg" /></span></a><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">On to ‘Out of Mind, Out of Sight’: it’s a neat concept, a good analogy for how teens can feel overlooked, invisible. I’m okay with this episode right up until the final scene, where Marcy has been taken to an FBI-run school. For invisible kids.<br /><br />Now, I can buy that kids turn invisible in Sunnydale: it’s on a Hellmouth, weird crap like this happens all the time, the Mayor and the police are in on the secret and make efforts to cover it up...I can buy it. However, the idea of this being a <i>nationwide problem</i> is a bridge too far for me. How is this not national news? Even if the government cover it up, why aren’t people writing conspiracy theories about this cover-up? <i>How do the FBI even know who has turned up to class?!</i> The supernatural-things-happening-outside-Sunnydale bit could even work if, say, the writers had dropped in something about this being a school in New York state that was run by a <i>professor</i> who was used to kids with <i>special abilities</i>. Young people who are <i>gifted</i>. If you see what I mean. But no: no, this episode just straight up wants us to be okay with the fact that the FBI run a school for teens that have literally turned invisible – all because Buffy can’t kill humans (much like Batman, really) so there needs to be a plot contrivance to get rid of Marcy without making Buffy into a villain. It just does not work for me.<br /><br />Also in ‘The Pack’ Willow starts watching a film about hyenas. There are hyena noises on the soundtrack. Midway through the scene, the film she’s watching changes to images of African wild dogs. Wild dogs are not hyenas. This is problematic to me.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Arial;"></span><span style="font-family:arial;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">Lastly, The Anointed. *sigh* He is just...awful. I get that it's meant to be, "oooh, child-vampire, <em>scary</em>" but he's no <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQk1aZjUV34">Claudia</a>. I just find The Anointed whingey and irritating. Total waste of screen time. </span></p><br /><p><span style="font-family:arial;"><br /><b>The Ugly:</b><br />There are also some real big honking terrible things in this series. Firstly, Alyson Hannigan wasn’t the original casting for Willow. In the unaired pilot it was Riff Regan, who was, shall we say, a plus-sized Willow. So in developing the show from pilot to airing, the decision was made to drop the fat chick and replace her with slim-line Alyson. Let’s be clear: I adore Alyson Hannigan and think she’s absolutely perfect in the role. What I don’t agree with is the fact that, once Regan was dropped from the cast, there’s not a single character who is more than a size 10**** at most. Yeah, some of the guys get a little less sculpted (and there’s always Jonathan) and Tara seems more like a real human female than a Hollywood Clone – but in Season One, Willow dressing dorky is about as unconventional-television as it gets. Which, considering Joss is all “this is written from a feminist place” and gung-ho about having Slayers of many different body types appear in ‘Chosen’ and in the comic series, is pretty sad.<br /><br />There’s also another glaring plot issue that Boyfriend highlighted to me, that I felt really belonged in ‘Ugly’ rather than ‘Bad’ for soon-to-be-obvious reasons: In ‘The Pack’ Xander and a gang of four never-seen-again bullies get possessed by hyena spirits. Together, this gang go around being general dicks; they then progress to eating the school mascot, an adorable piglet. Buffy manages to trap hyena-Xander after this point, but the rest of the group eat Principal Flutie. As Xander reveals to Giles at the end of this episode, he remembers everything he did whilst hyena-possessed. In Season Three, ‘The Prom’, another classmate makes a reference to “hyena people” and everyone laughs, so it’s obvious Xander isn’t the only one to remember this happening.<br /><br />So let’s be clear. We have four teenagers who remember <i>tearing a man apart with their hands and teeth and eating him raw</i>. And we have five kids who remember doing the same to a pig.<br /><br /><b>And no one has any apparent lasting psychological trauma from this.</b><br /><br />In fact this whole incident is pretty much glossed over; Willow and Buffy occasionally tease Xander about it for the rest of the show’s existence, and Xander makes the odd joke about it. But the whole visceral experience of ripping porcine flesh with his nails and teeth and devouring the meat hot, raw and twitching? Never spoken of again. Leaving aside Xander’s hyena-driven activities, what about the other four who cannibalised a man?! The school needs a new principal so it’s not like they can just forget about it – how the hell do they sleep at night? You’d think they’d at least get counselling or something.<br /><br />This is also the episode where Buffy deals with the bad guy by throwing him over her shoulder...into the pen with the demon-hyenas, who eat him. Admittedly Buffy does try to rescue him, but she doesn’t seem especially bothered by the fact she fails to save him and instead has to watch him get torn limb-from-limb and eaten.<br /><br />So that’s Season One, folks! Next time I tackle just how devastatingly attractive Spike is, how Giles becomes the best person ever, and why Oz is awesome.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />*We discuss Batman and watch Buffy. My idea of romance, folks.<br /><br />** Which makes <i>Buffy</i> 15 years old. FIFTEEN YEARS. Jesus. There are teenagers out there who weren’t even born when <i>Buffy</i> first hit TV screens. I wasn’t kidding about that “long time ago” stuff.<br /><br />***Extras In Need Of A Line: People who, for obvious budgetary reasons, haven’t been granted a speaking part even when the role they’re fulfilling so desperately calls for dialogue to make this a realistic human interaction.<br /><br />****Size 10 in UK terms: that’s a 6 for my American audience.<br /></span></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9087764590265443167.post-77687265657683625152011-04-30T11:58:00.000-07:002011-04-30T13:58:14.755-07:00Batman Begins to Take Over My LifeBefore I begin this one, I feel a couple warnings are necessary.<br /><br />1. I am full of fever, which has impacted my vision and thinking in subtle yet profound ways. This means I can't type for shit right now and my always-convoluted thought-processes have become extra-twisty. So apologies for any spelling/grammar/punctuation errors and further apologies if style is somewhat lacking (I don't have Word on this laptop, so can't cheat my way with Spell-Check).<br />2. This is a straight-up geek-fest of a post. If you're not into that, I'd go read something else if I were you. If, however, you have any right and natural appreciation for Batman and are willing to forgive/overlook the problems listed in point 1, then please, pull up a pew and continue on...<br /><br />Boyfriend and I have recently spent quite a bit of time discussing Batman* and we've been mulling over the problem of Batman's treatment of criminals: namely, that he throws them (sometimes literally) into <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arkham_Asylum">Arkham Asylum</a>. On the surface this is the only thing Batman <em>can</em> do: Batman, afterall, does not kill**, so how else can the criminals and super-villians he defeats be brought to justice and kept off the streets? Ordinary jail is obviously unsuitable and Gotham's police are pretty useless, after all.<br /><br />Take more than a second to think about it, however, and it all starts to fall apart. Arkham is, very obviously, designed more for (ineffectual) containment and punishment, rather than rehabilitation. Probably a hangover from the 1930s origin of Batman, Arkham is more Victorian nightmare-factory than modern centre for the treatment of those with psychiatric disturbances.<br /><br />This is how a moden mental health facility looks:<br /><br /><br /><p><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 214px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5601462949784718578" border="0" alt="I feel saner already." src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8_wOmSuY9IOfl9XBAxyB5vIaH47PrA7dC_TjdhyphenhyphenuodSSdlMe01k2OX7i_3mFQWiX329uGOplO5ClF0PiUorSDZZ8ej8OZlYIFrgfTNzyDn1Xt4PLz4d8B8rF_aE4f7GUmars09TS5ZAV5/s320/IMG_0061___Main.jpg" /> </p><br /><p>Aaaand this is just one version of Arkham: </p><br /><p><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 200px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5601462570035032626" border="0" alt="This isn't helping my paranoia, Batman..." src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikX94mQOUQuWCAdAWM9VVyJijlmWdgRJzM8mm96zgxTTd0_eiFpOd568sXQFeHbdG2_tPA6DW71C3ZupV9nnQJirQXlxr9xFRO98aLaOCRSKaScZ1fCU0euD04VyKtNv2ZztBRmj-A6C9l/s320/arkham.jpg" /><br />Can you spot the difference? It's subtle, I know, but if you pay close attention to the landscaping you'll notice that the modern facility favours light wood panelling and shrubbery, whilst Arkham is more screaming insanity-fest.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIP76nZ72847K5tGMW1wrku8JUa9O6Qvy4Qb9lV3BU-2m3gIA1MmpvLY-CtZeKd7VchjEUs3MHktkfiYCl-uEFKu5RQ7BNegDp6Rm4XQwwGuqnTDYt39ihuUQtCPNth-lG6fUmTjYNtWIi/s1600/arkham_asylum_1-762720.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 207px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 320px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5601464167371421442" border="0" alt="ohgodohgodohgodhesgoingtoeatmyface" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIP76nZ72847K5tGMW1wrku8JUa9O6Qvy4Qb9lV3BU-2m3gIA1MmpvLY-CtZeKd7VchjEUs3MHktkfiYCl-uEFKu5RQ7BNegDp6Rm4XQwwGuqnTDYt39ihuUQtCPNth-lG6fUmTjYNtWIi/s320/arkham_asylum_1-762720.jpg" /></a><br />Nothing about Arkham suggests treatment: super-villians who end up there don't get better, don't undergo years of medical and psychanalytical treatment that will one day enable them to re-enter Gotham society as productive and valued citizens. In fact, far from the super-villians getting well, it's the doctors who get sick.</p><br /><p>Take Harley Quinn:<br /></p><br /><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9hDgjQzvHsjs-XU0v2fpKy9f_VMdxkP0zi0hjDKaqUNGZ6c5YisF14FrMC6Y04_UKT_pc-_gTTgXC1nk84fkVfZwiwheWdz4eO6Q_PwFpyEzp4Qi144_2MSUblzkqnpMIlPP31C2Oum1l/s1600/harley.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 250px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 320px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5601466098178552226" border="0" alt="Yeah I BET you want to take Harley..." src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9hDgjQzvHsjs-XU0v2fpKy9f_VMdxkP0zi0hjDKaqUNGZ6c5YisF14FrMC6Y04_UKT_pc-_gTTgXC1nk84fkVfZwiwheWdz4eO6Q_PwFpyEzp4Qi144_2MSUblzkqnpMIlPP31C2Oum1l/s320/harley.jpg" /></a> Harley was, originally, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harley_Quinn">Doctor Harleen Fances Quinzel</a> and started life in the D.C. Universe as a psychiatrist. She attempted to treat the Joker, ended up falling for him, became obsessed with him, and the rest is comicland history. Arkham is such an ineffectual centre for the treatment of the criminally insane that, instead of the criminally insane becoming, well, sane, the doctors<br />become <em>in</em>sane.<br /><br />Aside from that issue (and the much more complex consideration about just how you define "sane" and "insane" and who gets to differentiate between the two) there's the fact I hinted at earlier: Arkham just <em>isn't very good</em> at keeping its inmates in. I was <em>going</em> to list here all the inamtes who have escaped; but as surmrised by <a href="http://www.the-isb.com/">Chris Sims</a>, the internet's foremost Batmanoligist: "Everyone. Everyone has escaped." </p><br /><p>Clearly, Arkham's primary function is captivity not recuperation, and it doesn't do a very good job of either.</p><br /><p>So why, you may ask, does Batman keep putting villains in there? And I'm <em>glad</em> you would ask that, because much like Giles, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cW20AlC0IbA">I've got a theory</a>. </p><br /><p>Batman doesn't <em>want</em> his enemies to get better. Oh sure, if you asked him outright he'd probably <em>say</em> that he's working towards a safer Gotham, but if that was <em>really</em> what he wanted then, as Bruce Wayne, he could just invest millions of dollars into improving Gotham's police force and working with Commissioner Gordon and some hand-picked politicians to try and tackle Gotham's endemic corruption problems. If all that failed, then Wayne could simply invest money into <em>building a better Arkham</em>. Either one that actually <em>treated</em> its patients, or one with much thicker walls. And tighter security.</p><br /><p>Instead, Batman/Wayne <em>needs</em> his enemies: without supervillains, after all, he cannot really be a superhero. If there were no more criminals to tackle that Gotham's police force couldn't handle, then Batman would have to give up the night-job and stick to his day-job.</p><br /><p>True, his day-job is being a playboy billionaire, but still. It's clearly an unfulfilling role for Wayne, hence his persistant need to be Batman.<br /><br /></p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjypYtT3paLUbYGPXcqIipDAgiJdWRX-rT0BvSgGsMWRNPDxewNLdql-UunOFYwRkHnkYg1xohvOVQwaa6rmEkMEgbZliGWg-kKzyv2WhdBMhTLLorW891FBO4LS-ZeHbDkiX95Hc2BHB5S/s1600/wayne.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 215px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 300px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5601479926582195602" border="0" alt="His life will never be yours." src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjypYtT3paLUbYGPXcqIipDAgiJdWRX-rT0BvSgGsMWRNPDxewNLdql-UunOFYwRkHnkYg1xohvOVQwaa6rmEkMEgbZliGWg-kKzyv2WhdBMhTLLorW891FBO4LS-ZeHbDkiX95Hc2BHB5S/s320/wayne.jpg" /></a> If he wanted to make Gotham a safer place, then Batman/Wayne should be helping build mental health facilities that actually <em>help</em> those with mental health problems; supporting and developing Gotham's police and government into reliable, trustworthy and efficient forces (within reason); and then probably seeking out some mental health treatment of his own, to deal with his ongoing vengeance/abandonment issues following the murder of his parents. <br />Instead Batman locks the super-villains away for a little while, so he can take on someone new (and get in some all-important playboy billionaire action) before facing up to defeat his original foes all over again. He needs the cycle of violence and retribution to continue in order to continue being Batman; and Batman has become his primary identity. His defeat of his enemies is a validation of himself; he is good because they are bad. Without this dichotomy, the "Bruce Wayne" identity just isn't enough for him.<br /><br />...Or the writers just need some easy way around the whole "Batman doesn't kill/fans want favourite villains back" issue. Whatever you prefer.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />*Yes, I have considered the possibility that our mutual love of Batman is a building-block in our love for each other.<br /><br />** If I have to explain Batman's moral code to you, then you probably shouldn't be reading this post. But just in case (or just because) you should probably <a href="http://www.comicsalliance.com/2011/04/22/batman-kills/">read this</a>, because Chris Sims knows a <s>frightening</s> perfectly normal amount about Batman.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9087764590265443167.post-84679142184148171022011-03-13T05:44:00.000-07:002011-03-15T10:10:24.975-07:00The Trouble with Being Human<span style="font-family:arial;">No, not in a deep, existential kind of way – I mean, as a review of problems I have with the BBC Three series </span><a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/beinghuman/"><span style="font-family:arial;">Being Human</span></a><span style="font-family:arial;">. For the uninitiated, it’s a comedy-drama about a house-share of twenty-somethings, who happen to be a vampire, a couple of werewolves and a ghost.<br /><br />There are many, many spoilers up to episode 6 of series 3 in this blog, so if you don’t want to know what happens look away now.<br /><br />If you <i>do</i> want to read this but haven’t been following the show, check out the </span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Being_Human_episodes"><span style="font-family:arial;">episode</span></a><span style="font-family:arial;"> </span><a href="http://www.tv.com/being-human-uk/show/75191/episode.html?season=All&tag=list_header;paginator;All"><span style="font-family:arial;">guides</span></a><span style="font-family:arial;">.<br /><br />Still with me? Good.<br /><br />I watched the pilot of this show about four years ago, joined in the internet campaign to get it picked up as a series, and was suitably delighted when it was chosen to air on BBC Three. I’ve been a fan since day one, in other words, and although I’m still watching now it’s in its third series, I have to say – my love is faltering. There are just some serious, gaping flaws with the script and the show as a whole this series that I can’t ignore.<br /><br />Don’t get me wrong, I’ve never had the kind of slavish devotion to it that’s meant I haven’t had problems before: the nature of ghosts and vampires and blood being two major issues for me.<br /><br />Annie the ghost is a particular bugbear and has been from the beginning. It’s her <em>physicality</em> that bothers me. Annie can make tea; move things around; in the first series non-supernaturals could see her; she <em>walks</em> places most of the time instead of popping in and out; there are never any fancy fade-in/out “ghostly” special effects*… There is no way of actually telling the character is a ghost unless she a) mentions it, or b) does one of the very rare sudden appearances. Hell, in the first series there was an episode in which Annie was out in the rain, with her hood up and hair wet** and all I could think was, <em>seriously</em>? A <em>ghost</em> is being affected by the real-world elements? It stretched credulity a bit far – and my credulity is elastic enough for me to enjoy watching </span><a href="http://www.hbo.com/true-blood/index.html"><span style="font-family:arial;">True Blood</span></a><span style="font-family:arial;">, just to give that some perspective.<br /><br />This series, though, it’s even worse. Annie’s able to touch, hug and kiss people; her outfit keeps changing (in small ways, yes, but surely the point of ghosts is they don’t change?!); and she not only makes tea but she was able to help a zombie (I’ll get to that later) get dressed and style her hair and make-up. In short, apart from no humans being able to see her, Annie’s pretty much a ghost in name only now. This frustrates me – but it is pretty internally consistent.<br /><br />The creator, Toby Whitehouse, said during series 1:<br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">“Regarding her clothes, we wanted to show how her death has, in a way, frozen her in time. And keeping her in the same clothes (although you'll notice how they change slightly, depending on her mood) as that was a good visual way of expressing that. I always imagined her like Miss Havisham in Great Expectations, still in her wedding dress from decades before. Annie is trapped, she can't move on, she can't complete her journey. Everything about her, including her clothes, is stuck.”</span> - </span><a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/beinghuman/2009/02/tobys_blog.html"><span style="font-family:arial;">Source</span></a><span style="font-family:arial;"><br /><br />So how do we go from having Annie “stuck” wearing the same clothes, then having them change much more significantly in the third series? Is it supposed to represent how, having crossed over and come back, she’s not “trapped” or “stuck” to the same extent she was before..?<br /><br />Then there’s Mitchell. Ahh, Mitchell.<br /></span><br /><p><span style="font-family:arial;"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 214px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 320px" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5583545884097756082" border="0" alt="You are WELCOME." src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZ1W3GWS4D2-lggLoHuqiOFm9zaDBrqlxKHfps0et7mWa6UjDeW48E-BUP1WT0sD7Kor5-IufCffJVnjRLOXypMwkOl47JrHTbcuhE1GC1bbdnD_uWmgrmEjePfAyHV_FTqNWqbhxD581g/s320/550w_gs_aiden_turner_1.jpg" /><br />He’s the vampire of the set. The rules for vampires in the Being Human world are:<br />a) They can’t be seen in things which involve silver, so no mirrors, no showing up on CCTV, and they can’t be seen in photos or on camera;<br />b) They’re immortal and don’t age beyond the day they were “recruited”;<br />c) They don’t appear to have any extraordinary strength, but do have a heightened sense of smell – at least, they can smell if someone’s a werewolf or not;<br />d) Sunlight bothers them – they prefer to avoid it, but they don’t catch fire or anything dramatic;<br />e) They have fangs, which appear when they want to feed – their eyes also turn solid black at this point, which is a neat and creepy effect;<br />And f) the blood has to be straight from the vein, bagged blood doesn’t work to satisfy their hunger.<br /><br />Now, the urge for blood in vampires is played in this series as more of an addiction; vampires get lost in their thirst, get withdrawal symptoms when they stop feeding, the usual. As Whitehouse describes it:<br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">“The analogy we use for blood in Being Human is drugs. We're saying the hunger […] for blood is psychological. Mitchell will discuss it further in ep 6 [of series 1], but essentially the craving is something he could in theory overcome. I always thought this was an interesting way of approaching it, as it meant Mitchell could renounce blood without starving to death, but it allowed enough struggle to make the battle interesting.”</span> – </span><a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/beinghuman/2009/02/tobys_blog.html"><span style="font-family:arial;">Source</span></a><span style="font-family:arial;"><br /><br />This actually works pretty well – except for one detail that’s always bothered me. Our Mitchell is “on the wagon” and, apart from a few plot-significant slip-ups, he’s not drinking human blood. Okay so far. What I think has <em>never</em> worked is the fact that, once the initial “withdrawal” period is over, there appear to be no physical effects whatsoever on the abstaining vampire. So, we’ve got a type of vampire that’s supernatural enough to be immortal, doesn’t age, and can’t be seen in mirrors – why wouldn’t there be more to the whole blood-drinking thing than just the desire? If it were <em>me</em> writing this show, I would’ve had vampires as slightly-more-than-human strong and fast; and when a vampire stops drinking blood this speed and strength stops as well, whilst the vampire also starts ageing again. For me, it should be the blood that keeps them immortal, helps them heal and gives them the edge over humans; take this away and the abilities should go too. I would also make vampires <em>more</em> sensitive to sunlight if they stop feeding on humans, as they’re less strong and less resilient over all due to the consequences of stopping feeding. Having zero changes just seems like a cheat to me somehow, always has.<br /><br />Moving on to the third series and the vampire/blood thing has suddenly become pretty inconsistent. In episode two we meet Adam, the teenaged-vampire.<br /><br />As an aside the casting was just <em>awful</em> here: no offence to the chap personally, but Craig Roberts’ acting is …. <em>not good</em>. He had zero timing, was apparently unable to emote either vocally or physically and overall his performance just grated. Then there were Mark Lewis Jones and Melanie Walters. They were clearly hamming it up and whilst I’m sure this was a very enjoyable time for them, their over-the-top, scenery-chewing style made the episode feel like a bad joke. In terms of the characters, Adam was so lightly done, an absolute non-event. He’s meant to be in his forties, forever trapped in the body of a teenager, and yet the best way this complexity could best be demonstrated through the show, apparently, was to have Adam say to George “you’re just a kid”. Wow. Great writing there, huh?<br /><br />Now, go and watch </span><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0110148/"><span style="font-family:arial;">Interview with the Vampire</span></a><span style="font-family:arial;">. See Kirsten Dunst’s performance***? See how <i>excellent</i> that was? Makes you really appreciate the frustration of an adult mind in a childish body and the way this frustration changes to rage and warps the personality, doesn’t it? Now compare it to the character of Adam. Clearly the writers of Being Human thought, “Cool, we’ll have a teen vampire and give him an </span><a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/becominghuman/"><span style="font-family:arial;">on-line spin-off show</span></a><span style="font-family:arial;"> in a school to tap into the <a href="http://www.blogger.com/www.e4.com/skins/">Skins</a> market and it’ll be awesome! What’s that? Character development and considering the effects of a developing mind trapped in a teenaged body, you say? Naah, we’ll just have him obsessed with tits and sex and stuff and it’ll be hilarious. Yeah!” The character of Adam felt utterly trite and the episode as a whole felt infantile as a result.<br /><br />Back to the blood thing. Adam’s been feeding on his parents for his whole existence as a vampire – but his mum has already died and in the course of the episode his father dies, leaving Adam without guidance and without a food supply. Annie, George and Nina take him in to try to help him; Adam starts going through withdrawal; the gang ask Mitchell what to do and Mitchell tells them, in no uncertain terms, that Adam needs to feed. <em>Needs</em> to. Mitchell also refuses to help and won’t have him in the house as he can’t have another “addict” around mucking up his own recovery – which is an epically jerk move, because after all Mitchell had help from another vampire with getting “clean” and in the first series he tries to help Lauren, the girl he made into a vampire. So apparently the message here is, Mitchell’s not interested in giving someone a hand unless they’re sexually attractive to him.<br /><br />The episode meanders on, with everyone and his dog insisting that Adam needs to drink blood or there will be consequences; yet once Adam chooses not to live with other vampires and instead to try and stay “clean”, he’s apparently fine. Uhh, what? What happened to the withdrawal symptoms? If it’s as easy as that, what does that imply about Mitchell’s difficulty with staying off blood? Why was the lack of blood making Adam weak and sick one minute, then he’s fine the next? Where is the damned sense?! Anyway, by the end of the episode Adam’s sodding off to internet spin-off land and we don’t need to trouble ourselves with him again.<br /><br />Back to Mitchell.<br /><br /><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 180px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5583560466320271330" border="0" alt="Mmmm. Mitchell..." src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMC3DDXYUiehY4PDlVlHjmsDyYtt0XAnZbYnz-8rLfIIwSR1lN1Li6xoTRJVfxLyu9ZSJdg_p6vJIkq0ZViai678HNq_q6ndP9kJeJUhRIzrdhdPH-_-rHuiTEu0wpPBVZBbwCEuPDdWXp/s320/aiden-turner-mitchell.jpg" /><br />Last series, for reasons to do with vengeance against all humanity in ways that didn’t make a lot of sense at the time and make even less sense now I come to reconsider them but hey, it looked cool and added drama, Mitchell was involved in the killing of an entire train carriage of people****. This is a heavy influence on the plot of series 3; Mitchell ended up meeting a fan (we’ll get to <em>that</em> later, too) who had a book full of press clippings to do with this multiple murder. Mitchell ended up killing fanboy – and, for some baffling reason, kept the Big Book of Incriminating Evidence and hid it in the house he shares with Annie, George and Nina.<br /><br />So, to review, a vampire living with people <em>who know he is a vampire</em> is hiding a book full of clippings that refer to a very bloody mass homicide and keeps sneaking up to the attic, when his housemates can hear him going there, to look at the book on a pretty regular basis. Now in your common-or-garden household, finding out your housemate had a book of cuttings to do with a grisly and violent murder would be creepy enough. If, however, your housemate is a vampire, and you know this for a fact, then is it just me or is that pretty much a flashing neon sign saying “I did this! Me! It was me!!”..? Naturally enough, this book is found and used against Mitchell by Herrick (yep, I’ll get to him, too), his enemy from series 1 who happens to be currently crazy and living in their attic, in a kind of upside-down version of the time </span><a href="http://www.buffyguide.com/episodes/episodes7.shtml"><span style="font-family:arial;">Spike was nuts and living in the school basement</span></a><span style="font-family:arial;">. Herrick gives this book to Nina, who now hates Mitchell for some reason. Nina makes the obvious connection and calls the police, leaving an anonymous message on the train-massacre hotline. A police officer turns up to investigate the tip (do they <em>really</em> send police officers to investigate <em>every</em> anonymous tip they get on these hotlines?) and comes inside to chat to Mitchell. Whilst there, the officer runs into Herrick upstairs; Herrick shows the investigating officer the book; the officer tries to take it and is caught by Mitchell, who takes it back. Whilst having such a book is not illegal, it <em>is</em> pretty damn suspicious.<br /><br />So, why would someone who’s lasted more than a century as a vampire be stupid enough to leave evidence like that around?! Mitchell finally gets around to burning it <em>after</em> the police officer has seen it – which, really, just makes it all the more dubious. I mean, you tell the suspicious police officer that there’s no crime in having the book of cuttings, then you dispose of the evidence as soon as she’s gone…It doesn’t add up to “innocent”, really, does it?<br /><br />Now. The zombie.<br /><br />At the end of series 2, Annie goes to purgatory – at the start of series 3, Mitchell manages to get there and get her back. It was pretty well done and a nice dramatic touch, but I have an issue with that, too: namely, that Annie is being essentially tortured and is suffering. She wasn’t a bad person, she’s done nothing especially wrong, and yet it seems like she’s being punished and will be sent to hell. Then, at the end of the episode Annie is told that she was in the “wrong” purgatory for her: as she went through someone else’s door, she ended up in someone else’s afterlife. Okay, that makes sense. However, when Mitchell goes through someone else’s door in order to get into the afterlife to find Annie, he ends up in <em>his</em> purgatory. So how does that work? Unless we’re meant to interpret it as those in the afterlife wanted to make Annie suffer so she’d ask her friends for help and so Mitchell would come to find her and they could give him the message/threat about him being killed by a werewolf. Except, as we saw in series 1 and 2, those in the afterlife can communicate with those in the living world through televisions and radios. So there’s no obvious reason to gamble on the fact Mitchell <em>might</em> risk the afterlife to try and get Annie back. It’s just senseless.<br /><br />Anyhoo, Mitchell gets Annie back and they both cross over into the living world again. In episode 3 we meet the “zombie”: one of a few people who died at the time Annie and Mitchell were leaving the afterlife. Apparently, as Annie and Mitchell were crossing back it’s supposed to have blocked the souls of the dead from moving on, which somehow made them zombies (except they don’t want brains and still have their living personality, but their bodies are rotting). This is seriously problematic: <em>hundreds</em> if not <em>thousands</em> of people must have died at the same time; why is it that only a small handful in Barry ended up becoming zombies? If it’s a proximity thing that makes a kind of sense – Mitchell crossed over in the hospital. However, suggesting that the “other side” is tied to physical locations with such precision seems…odd. Like obvious lazy storytelling.<br /><br />Then we hit one of this series’ hallmarks: wild inconsistencies. When we first see Sasha, the zombie, her speech is slurred and so bad that she can barely be understood – I think we’re meant to laugh at this, because it turns out she was drunk (<em>how</em>?) and her diction is fine once she’s sober in the morning. But we’re not talking drunk-slurred, we’re talking full-on, near-incomprehensible, has-to-use-gestures-as-well-as-words-to-be-understood, mouth-rotting type of speech. The difference is too exaggerated – to be fair, that could be down to yet another terrible actor, it’s hard to tell. Either way, although I’m guessing the intention was to play with people’s expectations of a zombie and to reveal “ha ha, just kidding, she was drunk all along”, it doesn’t really work.<br /><br />There’s also the issue of the other people who became zombies, who were experimented on (read “tortured”) until they were eventually burned.<br />By hospital workers.<br />In the UK.<br />Last time I checked, we weren’t actually living in Hitler’s Fascist Fun-Time Playhouse and, should people come back from the dead, torturing a screaming, pleading person to the point of breakdown is probably <em>not</em> what your average surgeon or nurse would do. Just sayin’. They probably weed those types out in the interview process.<br /><br />The plot gets worse when Annie decides to take Sasha on a girls’ night out with her and Nina. I know that Sasha’s “make-over” appearance is <em>supposed</em> to be bad, but it isn’t funny it just feels like an over-played hand; and there’s no way in hell someone looking like that could walk down the street and get into a club without comment. Sasha then has a snog with some guy; he’s kissing her for a bet because she looks such a mess. However, there’s bets, and then there’s someone looking and smelling like the rotting corpse they are. I just don’t buy her on a night out without people screaming and calling an ambulance, possibly the army.<br /><br />Sasha’s body then gets rotten enough that she can’t walk around anymore and eventually her door appears and she can cross over. But how does a zombie, which is already dead, “die” enough for the door to appear? <em>Why</em> would her body just go all at once and start breaking? Shouldn’t pieces have started dropping off her first? Again, lack of sense. I’m guessing that the writers just thought it would be fun to play with common expectations of a zombie and couldn’t be bothered putting in the donkey-work of actually writing a script that made sense in the rules of their universe.<br /><br />Speaking of which: Herrick. At the end of series 1, George, in wolf form, ends up tearing Herrick apart, thus killing him. At the end of series 2 we see two vampires, one of whom Herrick recruited, using their blood to resurrect Herrick. Which is just…yeah. I mean for a start, physically how?! His body was torn to pieces and probably a bit eaten <em>by a werewolf</em>. What’s left to resurrect?! One of the original motifs of this show was that it was a bit more “real”: it wasn’t your True Blood with vampires with super-speed and super-strength, burning in sunlight and able to fly if they were powerful enough; it wasn’t like Buffy, with demons and gods and monsters-of-the-week; the creator, Toby Whitehouse, wanted a show that was closer to physics as we know it. Toby said, <span style="font-family:georgia;">“One thing I've always insisted on with this show is that it's taking place in our world.”</span> - </span><a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/beinghuman/2009/02/tobys_blog_vampire_photos_expl.html"><span style="font-family:arial;">Source</span></a><span style="font-family:arial;"><br />The resurrection of Herrick was the first sign of this ethos completely derailing, and the use of zombies pushed it over the edge.<br /><br />So now Herrick’s back and living in the same house as the protagonists and has amnesia for some reason and is refusing to drink blood. He is still pretty evil, though, and saying really close-to-the-mark things as well as having the sense to show the Big Book of Murder Victims to Nina, so you have to wonder if he’s faking the amnesia. As Mitchell says that even Herrick would’ve slipped up and shown a crack in the façade if he was faking it, though, I honestly don’t know if it’s just sloppy writing; if it’s meant to show that Herrick has always been a nasty piece of work and the vampire thing is just incidental; or if it’s intended as Herrick just being that good at faking it and manipulating people.<br /><br />Sticking with the vampires for one last point, there’s Graham. A total fanboy who shows up dressed as Mitchell (how did he know what Mitchell would be wearing that day? Mitch has a style, sure, but it’s not like he’s Batman with one set outfit), he says he’s visiting all the big-name vamps and Mitchell is on his list. Basically, it’s uncomfortably derivative of that so-so episode of Supernatural where </span><a href="http://www.tv.com/supernatural/the-real-ghostbusters/episode/1303502/summary.html"><span style="font-family:arial;">Sam and Dean find themselves at a Supernatural convention</span></a><span style="font-family:arial;">.<br /><br /><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 257px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5583555241055498706" border="0" alt="This picture is totally relevant to my point." src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2ktkuFOWtU0KFRcoQLvhhvDTsBiHu42RD8IKv-yDFORiagqC3eTqoDvSjEtFluJ4lsL0rbBp1unZ-FsMI-mlZe9BhCtWiWCgmf8d2UgoDRoBYWfXBZO_3KITiCgANaVVvsN5TyDoAxY1c/s320/00021626.jpg" /><br /><br /><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 230px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5583555678014363506" border="0" alt="This is vital to my argument." src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIX5z0DGeFoZVvmS59qdonVBpzhmonyLmIq5l_fLeUvQzhHc1wCgwisYSDGhdJvWw1HwoHs9QC0GMBH2BlzN9l_jHdZZTqXnGav2u5Krex65xrehSJNf_xKY1_gHpWaOZc5TqtR84KZduB/s320/skin20.jpg" /><br /><br /><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 282px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5583555975992683474" border="0" alt="This is important too." src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbVlvszmcXQsvT_yyuWNhvxryMfwWxqgkHMlir_EOr0mOq376tkTcf_3R3IBMeFWNch8n45Igh9CqP7t50LxRkqlkpzFqtp7xe2eqpyWPiW_hSAyEqAwXlnFTL95c-1oVzbgfVpQNs5ej5/s320/1294911018-12.jpg" /><br />Graham’s entire character seems to have been drafted in about five minutes and his script written by drunks who just wanted to wrap things up and get back to the pub. His apparent entire <em>raison d’etre</em> in terms of the show was to provide the plot-prop Big Book of Incriminating Evidence, so Mitchell could keep it and have it used against him by Herrick. Again, lazy, lazy storytelling.<br /><br />Now for George. In episode 6, Mitchell is obsessively flicking through a paper for mentions of the train massacre – maybe he wants to replace the book of cuttings he burned, who knows. Annie catches him and thinks he’s freaked out because he’s found a death notice for George Sands Senior, our George’s father.<br /><br />Wait, what? Local papers only carry notices for <em>local</em> deaths. As George ran away from his family to hide the fact he’s a werewolf, why is he living in the same area as his family? In the pilot episode, George runs into his ex-fiancé at the hospital where he works in Bristol. The location just seems jarring – despite reading about his father’s death just that morning, George has enough time to get dressed and make the funeral, so his family have to be living close to Barry.<br /><br />Is it just me, or if you were trying to hide from your loved ones would you not move just a <em>little</em> bit further away than the <em>same freaking town</em>?! That also undermines why George was in Bristol – just the other side of the Bristol Channel doesn’t seem far enough away for George to have fled in the first instance.<br /><br />It gets worse. From the moment we first meet George and Mitchell they have a clear bond that’s got a foundation in months if not years of friendship. There’s trust and mutual reliance there, that needs to have been built up over time.<br /><br />Yet now characters are saying that George has been a werewolf for three years and ran away from his family three years ago. So with the show being in its third year, surely that means George would’ve become a werewolf shortly before the timeline of the pilot episode – so when did he and Mitchell find time to become such good buddies? The timing just seems off to me.<br /><br />Then we have George’s dad, who it seems is a ghost – but it later turns out that he’d actually faked his death and was still alive. It’s a telling indicator of how ghosts are represented in this series, that you cannot tell if someone is alive or dead unless they let you know themselves. Shoddy, shoddy writing. By the end of the episode, George Senior is back with George’s mum, who was dating an absolute prick of a man for no discernable reason but left him when George Senior punched him. Because that’s what we all want, right ladies? A man who punches his way out of trouble. Also, despite <em>faking his death and lying to officials in a way that involved a police officer</em>, there are no legal ramifications for George Senior admitting he’s actually still alive. Presumably Prick Guy, despite having all the motive in the world, isn’t going to turn them in and no one gets in trouble.<br /><br />Also they presume George Junior left because he developed a mental illness, which is actually well done and really worked in the context of the show.<br /><br />Now, to be fair episode 7 was <em>amazing</em> and fantastic viewing. It’s pretty clear the writers had some great ideas for the series, but they’ve got padded out with loads of filler. Overall, I am not impressed with this series. Bad form, Being Human. Bad form. </span></p><p><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">*Yes, I know this will have been influenced by the budget, but still.<br /><br />**Budget again, right?<br /><br />***Yeah, I wonder why she stopped bothering to act, too.<br /><br />****One carriage, that’s right. No, I’ve never seen a train with just one carriage, either.<br /><br /></span><br /><br /></p><span style="font-family:arial;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"><strong>ADDENDUM:</strong> <p>Following the (brilliant) finale, I have a couple further points. Now I <em>loved</em> the finale and yes, I cried; but I still have to take issue with it. Or more precisely, the hook they put in for series 4 (which has been <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/beinghuman/2011/03/being_human_fourth_series_anno.html">given the go-ahead</a>). If you haven't seen the finale and don't want me to ruin an element of it for you, <em>stop reading</em>.</p><p></p><p>For those of you still with me, my problem is thus:<br />We're introduced to Wyndham (played by an actor you may remember from an <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0706392/">episode of Spaced</a> - clever boy) who is 1,000 years old and clearly someone to be reckoned with - Mitchell's terrified of him and Wyndham certainly talks the talk. He outlines his plan for vampire world-domination and George tells him, "You've got a fight on your hands". It makes for a great ending and a strong visual, nicely staged. However, I can't help but think, if Wyndham is 1,000 years old, able to enter a house without invitation, issues threats about crucifying people that fellow vampires seem assured he can deliver on - then you know what <em>should</em> happen immediately after George issues this threat? Let me tell you how it <em>should</em> go.<br /><br />Wyndham should casually step forward, rip out George's heart, do something to banish or confine Annie, then call his heavies in so they can all cart Nina off. Wyndham expressed an interest in what, exactly, the off-spring of two werewolves would turn out to be, so it makes sense for him to take her and keep her alive until after the birth. The others he'd kill.</p><p>I mean <em>seriously</em>, now, a 1,000 year old vampire and he's going to be threatened by a werewolf in his twenties?! As if! Wyndham shouldn't be issuing threats or anything, either - why leave your enemies alive to plot against you?</p><p>Alas, I know this isn't how series 4 will play out. Instead, Wyndham will make dire warnings, give visceral descriptions of the things he <em>could</em> do, but isn't actually doing, and then leave, setting up the series for the housemates planning how to deal with the increasing threat from vampires. ARGH. This is such a repeated motif in movies/books/television shows dealing with vampires - they didn't get to a great age by pussy-footing around their enemies, they got there by <em>killing</em> people. <em>Lots</em> of people. In really nasty ways.</p><p>Man up, BBC Three. I say, open series 4 with the brutal murder of George, then have the remaining episodes dealing with Annie trying to find a way to rescue Nina from the vampires before Nina gives birth. <em>That</em>, my friends, would be great and original drama. Call me, Whitehouse. We can script this.</p></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9087764590265443167.post-6099532465137950642011-03-12T13:21:00.000-08:002011-04-01T05:58:37.426-07:00Past Times<span style="font-family:arial;">Idly scanning through the </span><a href="http://www.empireonline.com/forum/"><span style="font-family:arial;">Empire Online Forums</span></a><span style="font-family:arial;"> last night, I stumbled across a very old posting of mine - from way back in the mists of time, practically before recorded history began. I wrote it in May 2006. Original post as follows:- <p><br /></span><span style="font-family:Arial;"></span><span style="font-family:Arial;"></span><span style="font-family:georgia;">"Just a quick thought: Are there any films that if your new boy/girlfriend didn't like, you'd seriously reconsider your attraction to them..? I'd have to really, really think about a guy who hated <em>The Lost Boys</em>. Largely because I like to watch it so often that, if potential new boyfriend didn't like it, we'd never be able to live together harmoniously. Also <em>The Usual Suspects</em>. Anyone who can't see how fantastic a film that is just isn't for me! And <em>Leon</em>. Love me, love my films about vaguely paedophilic assassins."</span> <span style="font-family:arial;"></span><br /><p><span style="font-family:arial;">I've been with the Boyfriend now for over a year (15 and a bit months for those who favour precision. ...Okay, that's me) and I find it amusing to read that post now, because not only have I not watched <em>any</em> of those films with Boyfriend, but I've not actually watched any of them in the last two years. Don't misinterpret, I still love those films (<em>The Usual Suspects</em> is, was and always will be one of the greatest films of all time in my geeky opinion). I've just not revisited those classics in a good long while.</span> <p><span style="font-family:Arial;"></span><span style="font-family:Arial;">Boyfriend has actually expressed his hatred for <em>The Lost Boys</em>, and not only have I not dumped him because of it, it has not affected my life <em>at all</em>. I feel like I've mellowed in my old age and this has, in turn, let down my younger, geekier, past self. Future Winskillfull is a serious disappointment to Past Winskillfull.</span> <p><span style="font-family:Arial;"></span><span style="font-family:Arial;">Movies are still very much a massive part of my life - and I am gradually acclimatising Boyfriend to the idea of wanting to go to the cinema, <em>then</em> seeing what's showing, and picking the film you want to see most out of what's on offer. Boyfriend is a traditionalist: he waits until cinemas are screening a film he's already heard of and wants to see. Phillistine. But he's currently watching every single episode of <em>Buffy: the Vampire Slayer</em> with me, in order, so swings and roundabouts.</span><p> <span style="font-family:Arial;"></span><span style="font-family:Arial;">It just made me reflect on how much more willing to compromise I am: which you may doubt, if you've only known me in the last couple years. But seriously: mellowed.</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1